Who has a funny story?

[meggers5]

Because I am trying to not focus on the fact that a) there is a gunman somewhere in my city and b) that this event will change the open and welcome nature of Ottawa.

I probably sound dramatic, but this is obviously really close to home.

[WOT?*]

I am now getting Minion t-shirts and hats on the banner ad.

[Deleted]

My 4 year old DS walked in on me getting dressed yesterday and said hey mommy, I like your bags! While poking my breast.

[soleil]

The first Christmas married DH and I went to my parents' house. The first night before bed he left the bathroom and went straight to me and complained, "You guys have the worst toothpaste I have ever had. It's disgusting!" He was so indignant about it.

I was all, "....it's just Crest though? Minty fresh?" He gave me a hard stare and complained some more. I told him to show me the toothpaste he used.

Turns out, he used my cat's chicken liver flavored toothpaste that was in a drawer in there. He just grabbed it and used it without looking, and didn't even double check it even after he discovered how it tasted. I laughed so hard I had tears and tears.

It still cracks me up to think about it.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Kiddo told me on the field trip today that he couldn't sleep last night and had to sleep with mom, because he had a sad dream.

In the dream, he got an invitation to a party, but I was in a mean mood and I wouldn't let him go. I stood in the doorway and said no, so he got aggressive. He apologized to me all day.

Mom has confirmed all of this.

[speckledfrog]

Oct 22, 2014 16:18:01 GMT -5 soleil said:

The first Christmas married DH and I went to my parents' house. The first night before bed he left the bathroom and went straight to me and complained, "You guys have the worst toothpaste I have ever had. It's disgusting!" He was so indignant about it.

I was all, "....it's just Crest though? Minty fresh?" He gave me a hard stare and complained some more. I told him to show me the toothpaste he used.

Turns out, he used my cat's chicken liver flavored toothpaste that was in a drawer in there. He just grabbed it and used it without looking, and didn't even double check it even after he discovered how it tasted. I laughed so hard I had tears and tears.

It still cracks me up to think about it.

This is awesome.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Oct 22, 2014 15:56:38 GMT -5 @damnation said:

My 4 year old DS walked in on me getting dressed yesterday and said hey mommy, I like your bags! While poking my breast.

C walked in on me the other day.  She said, "Heyheyhey  MAAAAHMAH.  You got boobs?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah.  YOU GOT HOOGE ONES."

H was so proud.

(For those who forgot, 'boob' was C's first word.  H was so proud.)

[ohgillian]

This weekend some friends invited DS over to play in their backyard while they had the firepit going. When I told him he immediately asked, "Will there be SNORES?!?!?"


AKA:
 

[furby]

When my beagle was a puppy she was able to get out into the garden via the cat flap.

When she was an adult we came home one day to find her running round the garden wearing the cat flap like a tutu and a massive hole in the door...

[lilafowler]

Ellie was sick last week/over the weekend so she had extra TV time while she rested, etc.

Yesterday she asked me to put on a kid show and I said no and she started crying about how she wanted to go live somewhere else...and then yelled

"AND NOT WITH YOU TWO BORING PEOPLE! HMPHHHHH."

She's 4.

[melmo1122]

I was at Mount Vernon last weekend with my nieces. I had the almost 5 yr old with me and we were looking at the replica of the slave house.  I told her 6 kids lived there with their mommy and daddy all in this one room that was their living room/kitchen.  And that little cot over there was their couch and they didnt have carpet, just dirt floor. She looked at me and said "Where's their TV?"

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Oct 22, 2014 16:32:37 GMT -5 lilafowler said:

Ellie was sick last week/over the weekend so she had extra TV time while she rested, etc.

Yesterday she asked me to put on a kid show and I said no and she started crying about how she wanted to go live somewhere else...and then yelled

"AND NOT WITH YOU TWO BORING PEOPLE! HMPHHHHH."

She's 4.

You just say, "Fine.  Get out of my house."  It's always worked a charm.

I don't know what I'd do if they actually called my bluff.  Usually they start screaming by the time I shut the front door on them.

[Deleted]

Yesterday I was reading a book to Sofia about all the different kinds of jobs, and we got to the page about tradesworkers (you know, carpenters, welders, plumbers..). Anyway, the whole page was filled with busy people working, and she pointed to the one slacker sitting in the corner eating a sandwich and she was like "and that's probably dad right there eating a sandwich". I laughed.

[cinderbella]

This was just posted on my local garage sale site:

"I'm selling positive pregnancy kits $20 each. I have two for sale, but once they gone I can always make more! Just buy me an unopened test (and a bottle of water, lol!) $20 to make him yours...forever!"

[Howards Mom]

This was about 25 years ago...

Jim is BFFs Eve's then future BIL
Eve is BFF 1
Val is BFF 2

Eve and Val are going to visit another of our friends in Florida. We are all poor at age 22.
The three of them are out after a night of hanging out at the bar, Jim is sober so he's driving. Eve and Val are far from sober. While at a light on the major avenue in the neighborhood, the girls notice a lost dog sign for Sarge, a German Shepherd, with a $300 reward. Eve is afraid of dogs.

After driving around for an hour, they find Sarge by coincidence. Jim and Val call him and he comes running! They get him in the car, with Eve who is terrified and drive back to the corner with the lost dog sign.

At 3:45am they call Sarge's owner and he gives them his address. Eve and Val are happy to have extra cash for Florida. They pull up to the house and Sarge's owner is on the stoop waiting. They let Sarge out and he barrels to his owner, excited and happy to see him; jumping up on him, giant tails wags and puppy hugs.

Guy looks at Jim and my two hammered BFFs and says, "Do you know how many times I've seen this dog? At least 10 in the past week..."

Poor puppy was all excited to see not-owner because he's been there so often he recognized him. Jim ended up adopting him out to his sister-in-law who collects homeless, medically sensitive animals where he lived with Rascal the pit bull with ADD.

[Saint Monica]

Oct 22, 2014 20:22:36 GMT -5 cinderbella said:

This was just posted on my local garage sale site:

"I'm selling positive pregnancy kits $20 each. I have two for sale, but once they gone I can always make more! Just buy me an unopened test (and a bottle of water, lol!) $20 to make him yours...forever!"

@smace

[Howards Mom]

Oct 23, 2014 6:44:35 GMT -5 @booby said:

Oct 23, 2014 0:08:47 GMT -5 Howards Mom said:

This was about 25 years ago...

Jim is BFFs Eve's then future BIL
Eve is BFF 1
Val is BFF 2

Eve and Val are going to visit another of our friends in Florida. We are all poor at age 22.
The three of them are out after a night of hanging out at the bar, Jim is sober so he's driving. Eve and Val are far from sober. While at a light on the major avenue in the neighborhood, the girls notice a lost dog sign for Sarge, a German Shepherd, with a $300 reward. Eve is afraid of dogs.

After driving around for an hour, they find Sarge by coincidence. Jim and Val call him and he comes running! They get him in the car, with Eve who is terrified and drive back to the corner with the lost dog sign.

At 3:45am they call Sarge's owner and he gives them his address. Eve and Val are happy to have extra cash for Florida. They pull up to the house and Sarge's owner is on the stoop waiting. They let Sarge out and he barrels to his owner, excited and happy to see him; jumping up on him, giant tails wags and puppy hugs.

Guy looks at Jim and my two hammered BFFs and says, "Do you know how many times I've seen this dog? At least 10 in the past week..."

Poor puppy was all excited to see not-owner because he's been there so often he recognized him. Jim ended up adopting him out to his sister-in-law who collects homeless, medically sensitive animals where he lived with Rascal the pit bull with ADD.

I read this 3x and I can't quite figure out why the owner is not his owner?

[Howards Mom]

Oct 23, 2014 6:44:35 GMT -5 @booby said:

Oct 23, 2014 0:08:47 GMT -5 Howards Mom said:

This was about 25 years ago...

Jim is BFFs Eve's then future BIL
Eve is BFF 1
Val is BFF 2

Eve and Val are going to visit another of our friends in Florida. We are all poor at age 22.
The three of them are out after a night of hanging out at the bar, Jim is sober so he's driving. Eve and Val are far from sober. While at a light on the major avenue in the neighborhood, the girls notice a lost dog sign for Sarge, a German Shepherd, with a $300 reward. Eve is afraid of dogs.

After driving around for an hour, they find Sarge by coincidence. Jim and Val call him and he comes running! They get him in the car, with Eve who is terrified and drive back to the corner with the lost dog sign.

At 3:45am they call Sarge's owner and he gives them his address. Eve and Val are happy to have extra cash for Florida. They pull up to the house and Sarge's owner is on the stoop waiting. They let Sarge out and he barrels to his owner, excited and happy to see him; jumping up on him, giant tails wags and puppy hugs.

Guy looks at Jim and my two hammered BFFs and says, "Do you know how many times I've seen this dog? At least 10 in the past week..."

Poor puppy was all excited to see not-owner because he's been there so often he recognized him. Jim ended up adopting him out to his sister-in-law who collects homeless, medically sensitive animals where he lived with Rascal the pit bull with ADD.

I read this 3x and I can't quite figure out why the owner is not his owner?

Because multiple people during the course of a week brought this same dog, who wasn't Sarge after all, to Sarge's owner.

[WOT?*]

Sarge is not Sarge, he's another German Shepherd that looks like Sarge. They call the number of Sarge's owner to claim the reward, only when the owner comes he sees that it's not Sarge, it's his nearly identical twin doppelganger. But doppelganger knows Sarge's owner because at least nine other people have found Doppelganger (thinking he was Sarge) and called Sarge's owner hoping for the reward.

One of the advantages of always being wordy is that I recognize and can translate wordiness.

[bohemianmango]

Oct 23, 2014 6:44:35 GMT -5 @booby said:

Oct 23, 2014 0:08:47 GMT -5 Howards Mom said:

This was about 25 years ago...

Jim is BFFs Eve's then future BIL
Eve is BFF 1
Val is BFF 2

Eve and Val are going to visit another of our friends in Florida. We are all poor at age 22.
The three of them are out after a night of hanging out at the bar, Jim is sober so he's driving. Eve and Val are far from sober. While at a light on the major avenue in the neighborhood, the girls notice a lost dog sign for Sarge, a German Shepherd, with a $300 reward. Eve is afraid of dogs.

After driving around for an hour, they find Sarge by coincidence. Jim and Val call him and he comes running! They get him in the car, with Eve who is terrified and drive back to the corner with the lost dog sign.

At 3:45am they call Sarge's owner and he gives them his address. Eve and Val are happy to have extra cash for Florida. They pull up to the house and Sarge's owner is on the stoop waiting. They let Sarge out and he barrels to his owner, excited and happy to see him; jumping up on him, giant tails wags and puppy hugs.

Guy looks at Jim and my two hammered BFFs and says, "Do you know how many times I've seen this dog? At least 10 in the past week..."

Poor puppy was all excited to see not-owner because he's been there so often he recognized him. Jim ended up adopting him out to his sister-in-law who collects homeless, medically sensitive animals where he lived with Rascal the pit bull with ADD.

I read this 3x and I can't quite figure out why the owner is not his owner?

Because Eve is afraid of dogs.



j/k. It's what mrsbpo posted. I just thought it was funny Eve's fear of dog was part of the story. It's a cute story though. Glad the Sarge lookalike found a home. I hope Sarge finally found his.

[wannabe]

I cannot stop giggling at this reply in a FB post from a local news station about the newest ebola case:

So I heard it's here in southern California and something about it being in meat. And now today I'm told it's not in California at all. How much of this is true???

ENDS MEAT.