Post by oliviapope on Oct 23, 2014 13:10:46 GMT -5
Brought to you by the fact that my friend and I were supposed to have a girls night to a fun event tonight, and she just invited extra people. I am annoyed.
It depends on the situation for me. If I was looking forward to having special time with that friend and/or she invited people that she will pay more attention to and/or I just don't feel like being that social I'd be annoyed. But if it's something just casual for me I'm usually happy to have other people come, assuming that I'm either friends with them or it's just like one or two people I don't know (meaning I wouldn't be comfortable if she invited a bunch of people I didn't know and I'm suddenly the odd one out who doesn't know anyone).
No, I'm not. If I invite specific people, it's because I want to see THOSE specific people KWIM? And inviting extra people to a planned event without asking first is rude IMHO.
This reminds me of last weekend when I asked my best friend if she and her husband wanted to come over for a fire pit. She offered to bring chili so the four of us could eat together. Then DH decides he wants to invite more people, which usually wouldn't be a problem except my friend had already offered to bring food. I left it in her court on if we invited more or not because I didn't want to put her on the spot suddenly for making dinner for a ton of people. Our plans ended up falling through but I had to explain to DH why I wasn't going to just start inviting everyone and their mom without ok'ing it with her first.
In that case, no. Unless it was one or two other friends that we both liked. But in general I like smaller groups when going out so we can catch up more easily.
Introvert checking in - unless I know all these people very well, I don't want to hang out with them. Less is more, people. I don't want to make small talk with random people I don't care about, about stupid details that don't matter.
I want to hang out with just a few close friends, no background stories needed, just pure catching up/chit chat/gossip. And wine. lol
If I have made plans to go to an event with a friend, I'd be a little disappointed if a bunch more people were invited. I don't get to go out with friends very often right now, so I cherish what time we do get together...and don't usually feel like sharing.
If there were already 4+ people going, I don't really mind.
It depends very much on the thing. I often throw out "big" invitations to avoid rejection (if I invite 6 people, I hope for 1 yes). If I've already made firm plans with one person, I get annoyed at adding more in.
Post by oliviapope on Oct 23, 2014 14:55:26 GMT -5
At least now I don't feel so bad. I got tickets to something and could invite a guest. She invited others to come with us to the place, but not the event. I was really annoyed and wanted to tell her we could do it another time and I would go alone. My husband saw my annoyance, but thought it wasn't that big of a deal. . He is a more the merrier though. I am still annoyed.
Post by jeaniebueller on Oct 23, 2014 14:59:20 GMT -5
If it was a special night where it was just supposed to be me and my BFF (hey, I don't get out much!) and she invited random friends, I would be annoyed.
Post by leonard131 on Oct 23, 2014 15:22:37 GMT -5
No, not in the instance you brought up. It was clearly an activity for just you and your friend. To me that is just time to catch up and a one on one thing.
Other times I don't mind. I am big on trying to bring different people together but I don't like huge parties or things where I have to schmoze with a bunch of random people.
For a party, sure, the more the merrier. For a small outing, only if I am good friends with the extra attendees and I still might be annoyed depending on what the plans were.
Post by gibbinator on Oct 23, 2014 15:39:33 GMT -5
It really depends on the situation, but mostly I don't like crowds, especially if I'm not close with everyone. So generally no. In your situation I would definitely be irritated.
This wouldn't bother me at all unless there was a weird dynamic with the other person invited. That doesn't really exist with anyone I socialize with at present.
I'm almost always the one organizing events though so I invite who I please.