The school thing...(long)

[georgeharrison]

Yesterday, Tman had a half day of school yesterday, so afterwards, James met us for lunch.  That was when we told Tman what was going on with the school thing.  He seemed really indifferent to it.  He asked if he didn't like it if he didn't have to go.  We told him that we were sure that he would like it, and if he had any questions or anything specific that he was concerned about, to let us know, but that since we are his parents and look at things in different ways that come with wisdom, we had already decided he was going to go to this new school. 

We went to the school and he got a tour.  He again seemed indifferent.  We met with the Dean of Students and she was super nice.  She talked to Tman for a while trying to get him to open up and he had weird answers to her questions.  Like she asked him what he liked to do and he said he only ever does homework (which sometimes feels like the truth, but isn't really).  It wasn't until she brought up minecraft that he really opened up.  Anyway, he was "accepted" by her.  I'm sure that their acception criteria isn't super stringent, but it's always good to get the thumbs up from the dean.

Immediately after, I sent a text to Tman's current school administrator asking if I could meet with her this morning.  We met at 7:30 and she was very gracious and understanding. Said they love Tman and will be sad to have him leave and that they will miss him.  It was low key.  I thanked her for taking it well and she asked me I expected her to react badly.  I told her that I know that it's personal and that it's easy to get upset when someone says something that is personal to you in this way isn't working for them. 

Tman's main teacher doesn't teach on Thursdays, so I called her cell phone around 11 to let her know personally.  She answered and said that she didn't want to hear what I had to say that the administator had already told her.  She burst into tears and said that she totally understands, but that she loves Tman so much and that she will just miss him so much.  That she loves having him in class.    I assured her that we love her and Tman loves her and that this decision had absolutely nothing to do with her. She was very appreciative for the personal phone call.  She sent me a text an hour or so later apologizing for being so emotional and saying that she is not an emotional person at all, but said Tman has a special place in her heart.  That was the worst. 

I think Tman's indifference is shock.  He'll say stuff like, "I think I'll like it at the new school," but there isn't much excitement.  I'm sure he'll thrive there, but it's going to be a huge change, that's for sure.  I don't blame him if he's nervous or apprehensive.

[dana86]

I"m glad his old school was so understanding but it is hard when everyone is so attached. But you should be so proud to know that you have raised such an awesome kid that he has left such a strong impact on his current school. Transition is always hard but ones you get through it will be good for all.

Also didn't you say he goes to school at your church? So you guys will still see some of the staff, its not like you are completely writing them off?

[Tiff]

It's so hard - I just went through a similar thing with my DD who is the same age as your Tman...I think maybe the same grade too, but I'm not sure.

DD wasn't bothered about switching schools and we talked about it quite a lot last year and leading up to the change. We went to the new school a few times to check it out. On the first day of her new school, it was much harder than I expected it to be. I think that's when DD realized she didn't know anyone and it kind of hit her. She didn't want me to leave that day but I did and the teacher said she did great. Two weeks later, her teacher called me and had nothing but great things to say.

My point is that kids really do adapt well, I think it's often that we as parents end up with more stress about the situation than they do.

I think it says a lot about his current teacher and school administrator regarding how much they will miss him, clearly you're raising a great little guy.

[Deleted]

I remember when I was in 6/7 grade I switched from private to public and again in 9 from one district to another. I was always really excited for new opportunities.

[toratoratori]

I am so heartbroken for his teacher! That must have been such a hard conversation for you to have with her.

I'm so glad they took it well, though, and that Tman understands that this is for the best. I really hope he does adapt well and likes the new school.

[Deleted]

Big hugs to all of you! I hope he does great at his new school. He's lucky to have a mom like you.