I just came within seconds of losing it.

[themoneytree]

A just had her worst tantrum EVER in the middle of Little Gym because they are having a bake sale and she wants cake.

I tried telling her we would go for lunch afterwards but she was SO UPSET she couldn't hear anything I was saying. I tried ignoring her for 2 or 3 minutes but she was showing no signs of letting up and it was disruptive to the kids so I took her outside.

She would get a grip on herself and we would go back in and she would see the fucking cake and lose it again so we had to just leave.

Everyone was SO nice. They see her a lot and know she's normally really good, but holy shit it was so awful.

I put her in the car and screamed at her to shut up. : (
I know this happens, and I know it's 'normal', but I am embarrassed and I was so angry with her. I feel ok now. I'm going to grab something from the store and then take her to lunch.
I'm just taking a second to collect myself because I am mad at her, mad at myself for telling her to shut up and honestly just feel like crying. God. I had just been thinking yesterday that she barely throws tantrums.


ETA: she's asleep. Wth? Do I wake her and get lunch with our friends which was the plan or do I just go home?

[jlt19]

I'm sorry, I know the feeling all too well. It's rough, but know that we all go through it at some point.

I'd still go to lunch. She's probably tired from her antics, but I feel she was "punished" by having to leave early, so no need to punish yourself by missing out on lunch with your friends.

[verypunny]

I'd go home. Whenever my kids are being extra assholey, they're over tired.

[McGavin]

Don't beat yourself up, we've all been there. The other day I shouted SHUT but followed with IT DOWN but I was pretty close to yelling "shut up". But I have said in the past too

Let her sleep. Her behaviour was probably because she was too tired.

[luvvy]

It happens to the best of us. I'm guessing she was super tired which led to the meltdown. If she seems happier after then nap, I would go to lunch. She needs some protein anyway.

[jinkies]

I'm sorry. How old is she?

My newly-3 year old just threw such a fit at the grocery store on Monday that the lady in front of me, who already had her entire order on the check-out belt, not only insisted I go in front of her, but she also unloaded my cart for me while I dealt with my (screaming, crying, flailing) daughter.

And then *I* started crying because I felt like such a spectacle, which only served to make me feel more embarrassed.

All this to say, I feel you.

We all have bad days. You are only human, and you are doing your best.

As for lunch, it would probably depend on where you are meeting. I'd probably skip a sit down place, but I'd give it a try if it were Panera or something.

[liverandonions]

It sounds like she's overtired. Don't beat yourself up. I get like that too when J is in the middle of a tantrum. I sometimes can't ignore anymore and just lose it. You didn't hurt her. Hugs.

[eb777888]

Losing it every now and then is the best reminder to stay calm (maybe it's the guilt of losing it, lol. IDK). It happens to all of us in one way or another. Sorry you're having a rough day but just take a deep breath and move on. Don't beat yourself up over it, that age reallllly tests your patience and none of us are perfect.

[MixedBerryJam]

I'd probably let her sleep until lunchtime and wake her up to meet up with your friends. If she's fine, stay; if she's ornery, cut your losses and go home. Your friends will understand.

[Deleted]

I lost my cool and yelled shut up at T the other day. She pointed at me and said, "Ummmm! We don't say that mommy!"

I'm sorry you are having a bad day. I would let her sleep.

[iamgrace]

We all have those days.

I've been not the best mom lately. Losing my cool and snapping a lot. I don't like who I am when I let my anger get the best of me, but in the moment it is so hard to think rationally.

[tinybride]

That's rough. I know the feeling. My kids have thrown plenty of tantrums and I've had my fair share of guilt. I've lost my temper and have had nights where I feel so crappy about it I practically cry myself to sleep. All you can do is just try to remember to keep your cool next time. Take deep breaths when you are in the situation an don't let the anger get the best of you.

Oh and I wouldn't wake her. She might have been tired.

[spellingbea]

Ugh, what a shit morning. DD is entering the tantrum stage, too, and I am not handling it as well as I should be.

FWIW, I lose my shit when I see cake, too.

[ginap]

Oct 24, 2014 10:55:33 GMT -5 jinkies said:

I also have a newly minted 3 year old and I might not make it to 4.  Everything is an argument and results in throwing herself on the ground and much flailing.  If any request she makes is met with a no she loses her fucking mind.  I want my happy and cheerful toddler back. 

[sandyapples]

It happens to the best of sometimes. I didn't even realize I had a temper until I had kids. I used to be so even keeled.

I would let her sleep until lunch at least. My older kid wakes up very grumpy from naps so I wouldn't try to take her to lunch but maybe yours is different.

[wannabe]

I hope that all of these stories are making you feel better. We truly all have had days like that. They suck ass, but they happen and then we just move on.

Have a nice lunch

[themoneytree]

I woke her and she's been an angel through lunch. It's a roller-coaster. Lol.

I think a variety of issues played into this melt down. I forgot her banana so a friend leant us a snack but it wasn't as filling.

Plus we have some prescription cough syrup that I gave her right as we were leaving. I think that knocked her out and then not being allowed cake on top of not having such a filling snack was just too much for her.

I need to get more organized.

[moolarkey]

Oct 24, 2014 11:14:55 GMT -5 sandyapples said:

It happens to the best of sometimes. I didn't even realize I had a temper until I had kids. I used to be so even keeled.

I would let her sleep until lunch at least. My older kid wakes up very grumpy from naps so I wouldn't try to take her to lunch but maybe yours is different.

My H was the same way. NOTHING made that guy lose it until we had kids. This was the guy that wanted 7 kids, he decided 2 was plenty.

[stellas]

Oct 24, 2014 11:14:55 GMT -5 sandyapples said:

It happens to the best of sometimes. I didn't even realize I had a temper until I had kids. I used to be so even keeled.

YES.

They're so illogical. That's what drives me over the edge. I've found that losing it happens sometimes, it's ok. But if I manage to stay calm, things go better. And then I reward my self with a margarita at the Mexican restaurant with a giant sandbox playground. Haaaa.

[sandyapples]

Oct 24, 2014 14:20:30 GMT -5 stellas said:

Oct 24, 2014 11:14:55 GMT -5 sandyapples said:

It happens to the best of sometimes. I didn't even realize I had a temper until I had kids. I used to be so even keeled.

YES.

They're so illogical. That's what drives me over the edge. I've found that losing it happens sometimes, it's ok. But if I manage to stay calm, things go better. And then I reward my self with a margarita at the Mexican restaurant with a giant sandbox playground. Haaaa.

If only such a place existed here!

[Deleted]

Well, it was cake;)

I'm sorry you had a rough day. Hopefully the afternoon will be better.

[fivechickens]

I will echo everyone and say that it happens to all of us.

I have told my kids to shut up before. They just push and push and push until you just lose it. I had no patience before kids. Its not any better now that I have them. I try to reign it in but its difficult when they are in a mood.

It doesn't help that one of my daughters laughs when she is in trouble. LAUGHS!

Queue RAGE!

[redheadk]

It happens, don't beat yourself up over it.

I have to admit, I would be pretty annoyed about a bake sale at a place geared towards young children.

[speckledfrog]

Public tantrums are the worst. Even though I know all kids do it and that parents are generally understanding, I can't help but internally scream, "Stop making me look bad!!" We all have those days with our kids. I hope the rest of your day is more calm.

[iamgrace]

Oct 24, 2014 15:33:17 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Oct 24, 2014 11:03:29 GMT -5 Que? said:

This is me. I comfort myself with the fact that I know this, and that I'm trying. :/

Gah, I have been here lately, too. I was just thinking about it this morning actually. It's tough.

it helps me when I manage to remind myself that I can't take back words or actions. I don't want to be a mom like my mom. I try to work to be the mom I want to be every day. It's hard.

I had a huge wake up call earlier this week when I was just SO mad at Henry and lost it. I whacked him on the arm (not terribly hard, but enough to surprise him and bring tears to his eyes). This is not who I want to be. I don't want to live in a house where people hit each other. God. I hated myself in that moment. It will stick with me for a long, long time.

[sewpinkgal]

Well hell, I don't know if these stories are making OP feel better, but they're making ME feel better.

DS is 3 and has a new baby brother. Needless to say, it's a perfect storm of testing limits. all. day. long. I feel like I'm short with him all the time and I hate it. I know this is the age, but argh! It's so tough.

OP, we've all been there. I hope the rest of the day is a smooth one.

[iamgrace]

Oct 24, 2014 16:16:33 GMT -5 Que? said:

Oct 24, 2014 15:45:41 GMT -5 iamgrace said:

it helps me when I manage to remind myself that I can't take back words or actions. I don't want to be a mom like my mom. I try to work to be the mom I want to be every day. It's hard.

I had a huge wake up call earlier this week when I was just SO mad at Henry and lost it. I whacked him on the arm (not terribly hard, but enough to surprise him and bring tears to his eyes). This is not who I want to be. I don't want to live in a house where people hit each other. God. I hated myself in that moment. It will stick with me for a long, long time.

I did something similar last week and I've been kicking my own ass for it a lot. I've never gotten physical with her before, and I needed her to just go into her room and I sort of swatted her on the way in. I don't know where that came from, and I was instantly shocked and ashamed with myself. She was also shocked and not without her own shame and I felt like a bag of shit. I don't ever want her to feel unsafe or unloved but I know she did in that moment. I'm not going to get over that any time soon.
Hugs, my friend.

I know exactly how you feel. The fear and pain in his little eyes absolutely crushed me, and I never want to feel like that again.

[themoneytree]

Thanks everyone. I do feel much better.

She didn't nap, but a friend came over and the kids played in the leaves and with kinetic sand. That stuff is AWESOME. I want to keep it for me. Lol.

I appreciate the support. This morning was rough.

[themoneytree]

Oct 24, 2014 15:30:24 GMT -5 redheadk said:

It happens, don't beat yourself up over it.

I have to admit, I would be pretty annoyed about a bake sale at a place geared towards young children.

Well obviously I wasn't delighted about it either. LOL!! But I guess I have to be able to take her places with stuff that she wants and can't have without having world war 3.
I'm really hoping it will be gone by Monday when we have her next class. Ugh.