Does CIO really make baby sleep more?

[daisycat]

I just tried to let ds fuss/ cry himself to sleep for nap time and he still woke up at nearly 30 minutes. Help convince me why I should let him cry if it won't help him sleep longer.  Or will it just take time?

sorry if I'm not making a ton of sense.  I'm exhausted and clearly a failure at this mom thing. 

[daisycat]

And what do I do when he wakes up crying at 30 minutes? Do I go back in? Do I wait a bit?

Help

[rugbywife]

My kid often naps for only 30 minutes. If she wakes, that's it.

[bina]

Your not a failure, sleep training is hard, I would research more about it and try again. We had great success with it, but started it in the evenings and went cold turkey with it. Age plays a big factor too, how old is baby?

[daisycat]

Oct 24, 2014 16:41:23 GMT -5 bina said:

Your not a failure, sleep training is hard, I would research more about it and try again. We had great success with it, but started it in the evenings and went cold turkey with it. Age plays a big factor too, how old is baby?

Almost 7 months actual, but he was a preemie, so 5 months adjusted.

[daisycat]

Oct 24, 2014 16:40:55 GMT -5 rugbywife said:

My kid often naps for only 30 minutes. If she wakes, that's it.

That's what I usually do too, but he's exhausted since that is how long he sleeps at a time at night too.  

Which is is why I am similarly exhausted. 

[bunch]

I mean short answer, yes, but I tried for naps and had little success. The only thing that worked was time. Even now my youngest is a crap napper and can easily go without.

[redheadk]

You are not a failure. Every child is different and different things work for each one.

For DD, it wasn't the CIO that made her sleep longer necessarily. She had a lot of difficulty settling and falling asleep so we did CIO.

Have you read Ferber's book? I read a bunch and the explanation of sleep cycles was helpful for me.

Basically, DD had trouble sleeping more than about 25 minutes at a time, which is about the time sleep transitions. She eventually stretched it out to 45 minutes, another transition time. If I could get her past those 2 times, she would take a long nap. I started going in as soon as I heard her stir and I'd soothe her back to sleep. I'd leave the curtains closed, white noise on, etc. and just picked her up and jiggled her how she liked. She'd fall back asleep and sleep for another hour (!!!). She just needed help getting over that hurdle. Eventually, she started sleeping through it on her own. I do contribute that to CIO, she did not have any self-soothing/self-settling techniques and would always wake at sleep transitions, both night and day.

[redheadk]

Also, I would encourage you to come up with a plan (again, Ferber worked well for us, the others did not, Pantley and the like were enormous failures for DD), and be consistent with it. That helped both of us the most. On top of being tired, the worst feeling was just feeling like I had no idea what to do and was flying completely blind all the time.

[bina]

Oct 24, 2014 16:42:54 GMT -5 daisycat said:

Oct 24, 2014 16:41:23 GMT -5 bina said:

Your not a failure, sleep training is hard, I would research more about it and try again. We had great success with it, but started it in the evenings and went cold turkey with it. Age plays a big factor too, how old is baby?

Almost 7 months actual, but he was a preemie, so 5 months adjusted.

At that age I would just keep trying awake but drowsy and not push cry it out so much. Good luck, I'm sure you'll get great advice here. DS is now 18 months old and FINALLY sleeping through the night so it will happen eventually. I like baby whisperer and her wake, eat play sleep cycle. It helped us. I never actually scheduled feedings though because of premie/weight issues.

[bina]

Oh and troublesome tots helped us a lot

[stealthmom]

Oct 24, 2014 16:43:10 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

It's supposed to help them learn how to fall asleep on their own.

yes. Not more sleep but falling asleep themselves

Ex- I did cio w ds1. It worked and he was able to fall asleep himself, but that didn-t stop him from being hungry and waking in the motn.

[dcn]

I think the only thing that really helped nap length was time and him getting older. CIO never worked for that and honestly now at age two I still rock him for awhile at nap time. Not until he is sleeping, but he has never been a dump in the crib kind of kid.

Fwiw, around six months, if he woke up after less than an hour, I went in and just shhhhhd him and rubbed his back, left for a few minutes, repeat until it had been an hour. Then I did a big dramatic wakeup scene. After about a week or two he napped longer. I dont know if it was my shhhhing or him getting older or a combo that did it.

I would recommened reading through troublesometots and if you feel like you still need/want to do CIO read Ferber.

Hang in there!

[andthentherewere10]

My kid is a crap napper, too. How is your son's nighttime sleep?

[daisycat]

Oct 24, 2014 18:58:19 GMT -5 andthentherewere10 said:

My kid is a crap napper, too. How is your son's nighttime sleep?

Crqp right now. Think awake every 30 minutes to hour all night long. Even in the swing. Even while swaddled.

I'm so desparate for sleep right now so that's why I attempted the CIO at nap time but sounds like that's not the way to go. We are going out of town this weekend, but may have to start CIO at night when we get back. I didn't want to but, the no sleep ever isn't a good thing for him or me.

[andthentherewere10]

I just started CIO last night. I am not sure it was even CIO. Both last night and tonight I set the timer for 3 minutes. He fussed, but didn't wail, and was asleep before the 3 minute timer went off. Last night he slept from 7:30 to 1:30 which is the longest he has slept since prior to the 4 month wakeful. So, for us, with 1 data point and a lame version of CIO, it did lead to better sleep.

When he wakes up all night what are you doing? Is he breastfed? I switched to merlin's magic sleepsuit around 3 months and that worked very well.

[redheadk]

Oct 24, 2014 19:37:16 GMT -5 daisycat said:

Oct 24, 2014 18:58:19 GMT -5 andthentherewere10 said:

My kid is a crap napper, too. How is your son's nighttime sleep?

Crqp right now. Think awake every 30 minutes to hour all night long. Even in the swing. Even while swaddled.

I'm so desparate for sleep right now so that's why I attempted the CIO at nap time but sounds like that's not the way to go. We are going out of town this weekend, but may have to start CIO at night when we get back. I didn't want to but, the no sleep ever isn't a good thing for him or me.

CIO did help us to an extent. DD had a lot of trouble not fully waking at each sleep transition. She was never a "drowsy but awake" kid. It did not work for us, ever. She was a "drowsy, now wide awake" kid if we tried that. So, when she'd half wake after 25 or so minutes, she'd realize I was no longer holding or nursing her and fully wake. We had to get her to fall asleep on her own and that helped a lot with getting her to lengthen her naps.

Also, try going in during naps as soon as she wakes and rocking her back to sleep (or whatever you do to get her to sleep in the first place). DD was still tired so if I got to her before she got all worked up, she'd fall back asleep.

[redheadk]

And I'm really sorry you are dealing with this. Long term sleep deprivation is a huge mind fuck. For me, it was being so incredibly tired and not knowing when I'd ever get a decent amount of sleep again that made it so terrible.

[formerlyllizzyb]

Sleep training did make him sleep more at night.

Not so much for naps.

[daisycat]

Oct 24, 2014 19:44:54 GMT -5 andthentherewere10 said:

I just started CIO last night. I am not sure it was even CIO. Both last night and tonight I set the timer for 3 minutes. He fussed, but didn't wail, and was asleep before the 3 minute timer went off. Last night he slept from 7:30 to 1:30 which is the longest he has slept since prior to the 4 month wakeful. So, for us, with 1 data point and a lame version of CIO, it did lead to better sleep.

When he wakes up all night what are you doing? Is he breastfed? I switched to merlin's magic sleepsuit around 3 months and that worked very well.

He is breastfeed and that is really the only thing he wants. That's why it just breaks my heart to let him cry. I've been trying the paci bit that gets spot out and then he cries and I have to replace all night long. I'm trying to just feed a couple of times in the motn. If I use nothing, no aci, no breast, he won't settle at all and now he's so overtired at night that it's just a vicous cycle.

[IndiaInk]

We did CIO the Ferber way at 4 mo and it was extremely successful for helping her to fall asleep on her own. It also got her to sleep longer stretches at night and settle more quickly after MOTN feedings. I can't say enough good things about it.
Naps are another story. Usually she has one hour long nap in the morning but the rest are only 30 mins at best.

[barefootcontessa]

hang in there. IME there is no magic formula that works for all babies. What has worked for me is trying to get their calories during the day and working with them on taking the paci. for me it was easier to have me or my DH pop the paci in than BF.

[daisycat]

I don't really mind one or two motn wake ups right now. In fact, that would be awesome. It's the mom as pacifier all night, or replacing the paci every half hour all night that is the problem. I've been trying to cut the bedtime feed (or at least make sure I'm feeding downstairs before bringing him to his room for bed). But then the paci issue occurs.

Tonight we tried awake but drowsy with no paci and he has screamed for an hour. Dh is now rocking him with the paci.

Oh and because of the tears, the stickies that hold on his oxygen tubes aren't sticky now and will need to be replaced which will rile him up again.

[sent]

DD is 8.5 mo adjusted. She took a 1 hr and then an epic 3 hr nap yesterday. Today she took a 20 min car nap and a 30 min fake evening nap. Not STTN either. I feel like we never got into a schedule from the beginning because we fed her on demand around the clock due to her being underweight and her tiny stomach doesnt hold more than 4 oz. The only thing that has changed over time is that night time sleep has gotten longer over time. I give up.

ETA I did bottle feed her BM from the beginning because I noticed I got longer stretches of sleep from her that way. She was also a paci rejector and has always needed a bottle to go back to sleep in the MOTN or to go down for a nap.  I hope it gets better for you. Hang in there mama, you are not a failure!

[chickadee77]

Oct 24, 2014 16:45:43 GMT -5 redheadk said:

You are not a failure. Every child is different and different things work for each one.

Basically, DD had trouble sleeping more than about 25 minutes at a time, which is about the time sleep transitions. She eventually stretched it out to 45 minutes, another transition time. If I could get her past those 2 times, she would take a long nap. I started going in as soon as I heard her stir and I'd soothe her back to sleep. I'd leave the curtains closed, white noise on, etc. and just picked her up and jiggled her how she liked. She'd fall back asleep and sleep for another hour (!!!). She just needed help getting over that hurdle. Eventually, she started sleeping through it on her own. I do contribute that to CIO, she did not have any self-soothing/self-settling techniques and would always wake at sleep transitions, both night and day.

I agree with this so much. Once I realized that L was just going through a sleep cycle, I could pat and shush her, and eventually she got better at falling asleep on her own. While my DD is a bit young for full-on CIO, I have always let her fuss a little before she falls asleep. Well, I say "let" as though I had a choice, lol. Even if she's totally crashed asleep in my arms,  she always wakes up when I put her down. 

[ktw]

My DD went from waking every 45-90 minutes to waking once per night to eat at 4.5 months old when we did CIO a'la Ferber. It took one night for that. It took longer to get her to fall asleep on her own with little to no crying, but we drew strength from the success we'd had with MOTN waking and powered through that. It was a total game changer for us - my H and I were past the point of exhaustion and we just couldn't go on like that anymore. We night weaned when she was 7.5 months old, and I can count on one hand the number of times one of us has gone into her room between 7pm and 6am since then.

For us, naps didn't get longer right away, but I did let her CIO to fall asleep for naps (following Ferber's instructions - checks, cutting it off after 30 mins, etc...) so at least I didn't have to rock her for an hour and stand on my head only to be rewarded with a 30 min nap.