I need to sleep train DD

[quesyrah]

I have always rocked her to sleep. Lately
Though it takes up to an hour and she kicks my face, laughs, sits up, pinches. I am totally dreading it.

[quesyrah]

That's why I always rocked DD. I'm on my own at bedtime and I'm afraid she'll keep DS up and then I'll have a crying baby and a cranky 4 year old

[Deleted]

Ugh, that sucks. I ended up doing CIO with both my kids when nothing else worked. (Rocking, holding, singing, etc.) it worked really quickly with my DS and not-so-quickly with my DD, but you'll get there! I understand why you're freaked out though. I think sleep training is my least favorite part of having kids.

[notreallyirish]

I'm the worst at getting my kids to sleep, but I actually had some real success with DS2 after I bit the bullet and did my own modified CIO. I was going from bed sharing and nursing all damn night long to him in a crib and no nursing at all so it was a big leap. I just put him in the crib and I lay down on a twin bed next to it and periodically patted him or held his hand. He cried less than an hour the first night and was falling asleep within 20 minutes a couple nights later. He still wakes up some but it is a vast improvement over every hour or being latched on my boob all night. I dreaded it so much but it was worth it. Oh, and now DH can put him to sleep too, which never happened before. Good luck!

[scattered]

Oct 24, 2014 21:49:09 GMT -5 notreallyirish said:

I'm the worst at getting my kids to sleep, but I actually had some real success with DS2 after I bit the bullet and did my own modified CIO. I was going from bed sharing and nursing all damn night long to him in a crib and no nursing at all so it was a big leap. I just put him in the crib and I lay down on a twin bed next to it and periodically patted him or held his hand. He cried less than an hour the first night and was falling asleep within 20 minutes a couple nights later. He still wakes up some but it is a vast improvement over every hour or being latched on my boob all night. I dreaded it so much but it was worth it. Oh, and now DH can put him to sleep too, which never happened before. Good luck!

this is really similar to what we did.

[quesyrah]

I did the sleep lady shuffle with DS and it worked in the end but he cried a lot. I'm a sucker and I can NOT handle the crying. I was going to do it while DH was home on vacation these last 2 weeks but I chickened out. Maybe during next months vacation

[Deleted]

Do it. It will probably be hell for a week, and then bliss. You have to do it since DH will be alone doing it...so get it over with and get on to sleeping! You can do it!

B never needed sleep training....We did a modified CIO with j at 11 months and it was terrible FOR ME for the first 4 days...then it was amazing. He was up every 45-90 minutes...literally could.not.fall.asleep on his own....now he can. So.worth.it. So.worth.it.

[thecheshirekat]

I've been avoiding the hardcore sleep training too and am still nursing them down to sleep, but I just wanted to say that your other kid might surprise you - maybe there's just enough crying in my house all the time that everyone's learned to tune it out, but DS almost never wakes up when the babies cry and they don't even wake each other up with crying with their cribs three feet apart. But as soon as that nursing pillow buckle clicks...

[dc2london]

Sleep Lady Shuffle worked beautifully for DS2. Nothing worked for DS1.

[notreallyirish]

I wanted to add that ds1 does not wake up when ds2 cries. Even when we all shared a room on vacation. He gives no fucks. Not his baby, not his problem.

[amynumbers]

Oct 24, 2014 21:30:56 GMT -5 @kimbus22 said:

Yeah I'm stuck. I have to get her going to bed well. DH is going to be putting them both down alone 5 nights a week. Right now she won't even let him put her to bed in the RNP in our room. And I need to get her out of it because she's ginormous and she's going to flip herself right out of it. Every time I decide I'm going to try her room, she gets sick again and I'm all "Fuck this shit." and give up.

Been there sister. DS2 was eight months old in that SOB. What type of RNP is it? Snuggabunny or similar? Because what finally worked for us was buying fuzzy Carter's baby pimp sheets that were made of the same material as the damn bunny head.

[diapersnwipes]

Oct 25, 2014 6:53:28 GMT -5 notreallyirish said:

I wanted to add that ds1 does not wake up when ds2 cries. Even when we all shared a room on vacation. He gives no fucks. Not his baby, not his problem.

This is DD. The honey badger give no fucks. DS will be screaming his face off in the back of the car and DD will passed out right next to DS and not flinch. Get a sound machine for both rooms and hope for the best.

[quesyrah]

Good point about her not waking DS. She used to hate the car and would cry/scream hysterically and he would sleep right through it

[yanakimou]

You're not alone! I just got Dr. Ferber's book in the mail from good old Amazon yesterday. Just in time since DS wouldn't go to sleep until 2:30 this am. He needs to be rocked/nursed to sleep and every single time I put him down after he fell asleep, he would wake within minutes and cry. I was at the end of my rope last night. Angry, crying, woke up DH and started another fight about how he thinks I can't handle my shit because I got so frustrated. So that should make for an awesome weekend.
But so far I like the book and am optimistic. Can't get any worse. I already feel like the shittiest mom for being so angry and resentful in the middle of the night. Mom guilt is the worst.
I hope you are able to find a method that works and fast . If I have any luck with the Ferber method I will let you know quesyrah.

[quesyrah]

Oct 25, 2014 9:10:21 GMT -5 yanakimou said:

You're not alone! I just got Dr. Ferber's book in the mail from good old Amazon yesterday. Just in time since DS wouldn't go to sleep until 2:30 this am. He needs to be rocked/nursed to sleep and every single time I put him down after he fell asleep, he would wake within minutes and cry. I was at the end of my rope last night. Angry, crying, woke up DH and started another fight about how he thinks I can't handle my shit because I got so frustrated. So that should make for an awesome weekend.
But so far I like the book and am optimistic. Can't get any worse. I already feel like the shittiest mom for being so angry and resentful in the middle of the night. Mom guilt is the worst.
I hope you are able to find a method that works and fast . If I have any luck with the Ferber method I will let you know quesyrah.

Been there done that! Don't beat yourself up. DS was the world's crappiest sleeper. He was difficult to put down and woke every 30-90 minutes until he was 16 months old. Then suddenly he was just amazing. Went down easily and STTN 12 straight hours. I had many a raging nights especially when DH worked nights and I was by myself.

DD is an amazing sleeper, she's just having trouble going down.

[NandaB]

I did something similar to irish too. I knew CIO with checks like I did with G would just get her riled up, so I would snuggle like usual until she was calmed down then I put her in the crib but stood right by it patting/rubbing her back. She cried a bit and tried to get up, but I just laid her back down. That lasted about a week then I would just stand by the crib. I slowly moved farther from the crib but still in the room. After 3 ish weeks I left the room. She cried, but only for a few min and didn't get all worked up.

[chatterbox]

I'm struggling with this too. DD turned 4 months last week. Sometimes she sleeps through the night no problem, sometimes she wakes up once to eat, and other times she wakes every two hours! I never know what to expect. She also sleeps in the RnP. I don't know if it would be easier to sleep train now or if she is too young. Also, she screams if we try to put her down sleepy like all the books recommend. The only way to make her stop is to pick her up.

[captainmal]

Good luck. I sleep trained late compared to a lot of moms I know (around 18 months). I was really hesitant because I just didn't think it would work, but it did within 2 nights. Now he goes to bed on his own and sleeps through the night. I don't know how I put up with him for the 18 months before that. I missed a lot of sleep.

[dc2london]

Oct 25, 2014 11:14:01 GMT -5 NandaB said:

I did something similar to irish too. I knew CIO with checks like I did with G would just get her riled up, so I would snuggle like usual until she was calmed down then I put her in the crib but stood right by it patting/rubbing her back. She cried a bit and tried to get up, but I just laid her back down. That lasted about a week then I would just stand by the crib. I slowly moved farther from the crib but still in the room. After 3 ish weeks I left the room. She cried, but only for a few min and didn't get all worked up.

That sounds a lot like Sleep Lady Shuffle.  It worked well for us.  

[Deleted]

Oct 25, 2014 9:10:21 GMT -5 yanakimou said:

You're not alone! I just got Dr. Ferber's book in the mail from good old Amazon yesterday. Just in time since DS wouldn't go to sleep until 2:30 this am. He needs to be rocked/nursed to sleep and every single time I put him down after he fell asleep, he would wake within minutes and cry. I was at the end of my rope last night. Angry, crying, woke up DH and started another fight about how he thinks I can't handle my shit because I got so frustrated. So that should make for an awesome weekend.
But so far I like the book and am optimistic. Can't get any worse. I already feel like the shittiest mom for being so angry and resentful in the middle of the night. Mom guilt is the worst.
I hope you are able to find a method that works and fast . If I have any luck with the Ferber method I will let you know quesyrah.

Sorry you're struggling!! I had awful mom guilts both times I sleep trained. I found this site really helpful for making me feel less evil about it: www.troublesometots.com/how-to-cry-it-out-bedtime-edition/

I can't lie, I still cried outside the door sometimes and sometimes wanted to to go smash a window, but it helped with the guilt. Also, keeping a chart of how long my DD cried and then how long she slept really helped. When it seemed like it wasn't working, I could look back at the previous week and see that there was progress. Good luck!

[beantrees]

I didn't read all the replies and this will sound crazy but have you tried just laying her in the crib? DS2 nursed/was held to sleep and he started doing the same thing, moving around, laughing kicking, trying to get down. One day I got fed up and put him in the crib. He went to sleep and that was that. He still woke at night, but the initial put down was so much easier. His first time sleeping through the night was last week at 19 months... so I feel you.

I agree troublesometots.com is a great resource.

[quesyrah]

Lol oh yes I've tried just laying her down. In the time it took me to walk out of the room, pee and come back she got so hysterical she threw up in her crib.

[NandaB]

Oct 25, 2014 19:36:26 GMT -5 dc2london said:

Oct 25, 2014 11:14:01 GMT -5 NandaB said:

I did something similar to irish too. I knew CIO with checks like I did with G would just get her riled up, so I would snuggle like usual until she was calmed down then I put her in the crib but stood right by it patting/rubbing her back. She cried a bit and tried to get up, but I just laid her back down. That lasted about a week then I would just stand by the crib. I slowly moved farther from the crib but still in the room. After 3 ish weeks I left the room. She cried, but only for a few min and didn't get all worked up.

That sounds a lot like Sleep Lady Shuffle.  It worked well for us.  

Well lookie there, I did a "thing" and didn't even realize it

[dizzycooks]

Oct 25, 2014 6:53:28 GMT -5 notreallyirish said:

I wanted to add that ds1 does not wake up when ds2 cries. Even when we all shared a room on vacation. He gives no fucks. Not his baby, not his problem.

That's awesome. My dd1 is the same in that it doesn't get her up and she doesn't "help" except hell hath no fury like the toddler who realizes you took the screaming baby out of their shared room. She will lay quietly while the baby cries and we rock or pat for hours, but leave the room? Oh the horror.

[quesyrah]

So epic fail last night. After 3 hours I finally just rocked her to sleep

[mamaalysson]

Oct 26, 2014 9:06:08 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

So epic fail last night. After 3 hours I finally just rocked her to sleep

Ugh.  So sorry.  Sleep stuff is so frustrating.  Hopefully something just clicks and she starts sleeping better soon.  DS has been screaming his head off at nap and bedtimes all of a sudden and it is so frustrating.  I hate listening to him be unhappy.  :-(  The good news is amazingly, DD sleeps through it all.  As long as she is good and asleep, he can be three feet from her crying in the crib, and she doesn't care.  Good luck!  And coffee.  I wish you luck and coffee.

[yanakimou]

Oct 25, 2014 20:13:56 GMT -5 @leftie22 said:

Oct 25, 2014 9:10:21 GMT -5 yanakimou said:

You're not alone! I just got Dr. Ferber's book in the mail from good old Amazon yesterday. Just in time since DS wouldn't go to sleep until 2:30 this am. He needs to be rocked/nursed to sleep and every single time I put him down after he fell asleep, he would wake within minutes and cry. I was at the end of my rope last night. Angry, crying, woke up DH and started another fight about how he thinks I can't handle my shit because I got so frustrated. So that should make for an awesome weekend.
But so far I like the book and am optimistic. Can't get any worse. I already feel like the shittiest mom for being so angry and resentful in the middle of the night. Mom guilt is the worst.
I hope you are able to find a method that works and fast . If I have any luck with the Ferber method I will let you know quesyrah.

Sorry you're struggling!! I had awful mom guilts both times I sleep trained. I found this site really helpful for making me feel less evil about it: www.troublesometots.com/how-to-cry-it-out-bedtime-edition/

I can't lie, I still cried outside the door sometimes and sometimes wanted to to go smash a window, but it helped with the guilt. Also, keeping a chart of how long my DD cried and then how long she slept really helped. When it seemed like it wasn't working, I could look back at the previous week and see that there was progress. Good luck!

Thank you @leftie22

[yanakimou]

Oct 26, 2014 9:06:08 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

So epic fail last night. After 3 hours I finally just rocked her to sleep

Ugh I am so sorry, that must have been so stressful. I hope tonight goes better for you guys!

[dc2london]

I'm so sorry. Sleep training is the pits.

[leselia]

We rocked DD to sleep until she started doing exactly what you describe, the kicking and laughing, etc. we did a rough week of laying her down and checking on her every few minutes a la Ferber but that honestly just seemed to make it worse. She finally figured it out and puts herself to sleep. Just wanted to say there is hope! DD was about 16 months when we did this.