questions, comments, opinions, advice! who needs what

[jenna]

Oct 25, 2014 9:38:38 GMT -5 aussiecrush said:

Oct 25, 2014 7:20:31 GMT -5 jenna said:

auntie


*I* would want a diagnosis.  Is there a developmental pediatrician in your area?

We do and I've narrowed the list and found a few covered by our insurance. This was the next logical step for us and I appreciate the push in that direction, especially the information from auntie.
Our school psychologist could dx him outside of the school environment but as it stands her hands are tied. There are just so many damn options and opinions, it's overwhelming at times. Thank you for the help.

auntie is wise.  She's a great source for info.

GL

[jenna]

Oct 25, 2014 8:17:48 GMT -5 auntie said:

Oct 25, 2014 7:20:31 GMT -5 jenna said:

auntie

The reality is that only 15% of those with the highest functioning form of ASD have full time employment. (U.S. and UK figures from just prior to the current recession) And that doesn't factor in the guy with a masters in IT who is working at Radio Shack.

Any advice to plan for the future?  To help our children thrive as adults? 

[CurlyQ284]

Oct 25, 2014 7:43:45 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

Why do I keep sweating in my sleep? I'm 10 months PP, shouldn't this stop already?

My DS is almost 2 and I sweat way more than pre-DS. I hate it. I'm always hot.

[hopecounts]

Oct 25, 2014 16:05:33 GMT -5 jenna said:

Oct 25, 2014 8:17:48 GMT -5 auntie said:

The reality is that only 15% of those with the highest functioning form of ASD have full time employment. (U.S. and UK figures from just prior to the current recession) And that doesn't factor in the guy with a masters in IT who is working at Radio Shack.

Any advice to plan for the future?  To help our children thrive as adults? 

Depending on age I would highly recommend finding a good ABA provider and getting him started ASAP (there can be wait lists for the best programs/providers)

If older make sure he gets a program like those done by Michelle Garcia Winner to help his social skills and ability to interact well.  

[auntie]

Oct 25, 2014 16:05:33 GMT -5 jenna said:

Oct 25, 2014 8:17:48 GMT -5 auntie said:

The reality is that only 15% of those with the highest functioning form of ASD have full time employment. (U.S. and UK figures from just prior to the current recession) And that doesn't factor in the guy with a masters in IT who is working at Radio Shack.

Any advice to plan for the future?  To help our children thrive as adults? 

Depends on the child.

For DS, who has an Aspergers dx along with a bunch of others the useful pieces are:

Special Needs Trust in case we die before we're certain he can be truly independent.

Choosing interventions over accommodations rather than lowering expectations. CBT and Social Thinking were very helpful.

Giving DS ownership of his dx and encouraging him to advocate for himself.

Realizing that ASD is a delay in social and emotional maturity; for DS about 1/3-1/4 of chronological age. Just because some skill was beyond him at the age his peers learned it didn't mean he wouldn't ever get there. It's a marathon, not a sprint. 

Jury's still out here. DS's still evolving. He's doing well, or so he tells me, as a college junior and working weekends at a job he loves. He seems a lot happier out of K-12th.

ETA: work on the social piece even if it means being a little outside his cmfort zone. Being part of a group is protective against bullying in the tween/teen years. Being part of a team, like scouts or band, teaches the collaborative skills needed to succeed in college and the workplace.

[bonquiqui]

I would love a piece of general advice. I love these posts. You are our "Dear Abby" of ML. Dear Suesue!

[elleblue]

tillie - I'm so sorry, I can only imagine how much his comments/behavior hurt you. Instead of deciding whether or not you should let him go, I think you should consider setting yourself free, whatever that looks like for you. If that means ending the relationship because he still refuses counseling and won't own his terrible treatment of you, then so be it. Bottom line, you didn't deserve to go through that then and you don't deserve it now. 

[bonquiqui]

Oct 25, 2014 19:23:20 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Oct 25, 2014 18:28:35 GMT -5 bonquiqui said:

I would love a piece of general advice. I love these posts. You are our "Dear Abby" of ML. Dear Suesue!

When you find yourself in hell, keep walking. It's the only way you will get out. 

Every light across town does not have to be green, for you to put the key in the ignition and turn on the engine. START. it's the only way to get on. 

Paralysis is fatal; DO it. Whatever it is. 

Wise as usual ❤️

[cereal K]

On a much lighter note...how much is reasonable to invest in wall art?

We have a big, blank wall in our family room. i've had it in my head that i'd like a vintage map of St. Louis on a canvas. I've found one of the downtown area circa late-1800's, and one of Forest Park for the 1904 World's Fair. To get the size I want (50-70 inches wide) we're looking at anywhere from $350-700.

It seems like too much. But then I tell myself that a prominent piece of art (which this is, loosely) is like furniture and should be something in which you invest.

So, I guess my question is: would you spend $700 on a canvas reproduction of a 200 year old map?

[everyjuan]

I have a HUGE interview on Thursday. For me to get this position would be a big game-changer for us. I'm trying to keep calm and plan to just go in and be myself, but I'm getting pretty nervous.

What are your best interviewing tips? If you are interviewing someone, what do you most like to see?

[disappointedkittens]

Sue Sue, I have a 9 month old baby and tons of local family but I feel like I have no help. My parents watched him once for and hour when he was 2 weeks and once for half an hour a month ago but I had to go get him because he kept crying. ILs have also only watched him once for about 45 minutes. He won't stay with H either and I have had pretty much no time alone since he was born. My parents and ILs both watch their other grandchildren all the time including overnight help during the rough parts. SIL lives about 8 hours away and they still babysit her kids more than mine. I have gotten to the point where I feel really bitter and exhausted and like I don't want to take him for visits with them because it's just one more thing to do. I know it isn't a healthy attitude but I am stuck. Plus I am feeling devastated that our cleaner quit after a single session because I just felt like it would relieve some pressure.
Watch should I do? Any advice or maybe a promise it will get better?

[noodleskooze]

@cse1960 you missed mine

[noodleskooze]

@cse1960 I definitely would. We are close in the sense that we know each other really well, but we don't necessarily see each other often. When I see her it's almost always in a group (her/bff's family).

[noodleskooze]

Great advice! Thanks!

[WOT?*]

Oct 25, 2014 18:11:16 GMT -5 tillie said:

Sue Sue gave good advice except I would like to say "let him go for YOU to move on."  It's not about him.  It's about how he treats you.  I think he needs a Come to Jesus moment.  If he knows you're ready to leave...that's his decision time.  And it's not about him, it's about you.  HE doesn't need to move on.  He needs to be the partner you're supposed to have.  Or YOU need to move on to the partner you deserve or a life without someone who is unnecessarily cruel to you as a result of an illness you are unable to control.

[everyjuan]

That is great advice, and I felt calmer just reading it. Will do. Thank you!

[WOT?*]

Deleted the quote. Thanks for the heads-up intentionalsnarkshark