Kids and funerals

[BioNerd]

As you may remember we are expecting DHs grandpa to pass anytime.

Today I heard him talking to DS and heard him say, "you'll be seeing a lot of your cousins soon."

I asked when and he responded, "at the funeral."

I hadn't planned on taking DS to the funeral. My parents already offered to keep him. I feel like it would be very difficult for him to understand the need for reverence and well, he's 4.

Apparently DH doesn't agree.

Grandpa has 54 grand, great-grand, and great-great-grandkids not including spouses. I had planned on DS going to the wake.

I really don't see a real reason for DS to go to the funeral. If he were 8-9 I think I'd feel differently.

What do you think?

[Deleted]

I took my 4 yo son to his grandmother's funeral

[Deleted]

Kids make it easier I think. They counter the sadness with life.

[dirtyred]

He and his cousins will probably run around outside the room where the service is held. I've never seen small Children sit through the actual service. He'll be fine.

[starryfish]

I went to my grandfathers funeral when I was 4 and it was an open casket, I don't recommend that

[elleblue]

Oct 25, 2014 14:23:19 GMT -5 starryfish said:

I went to my grandfathers funeral when I was 4 and it was an open casket, I don't recommend that

I went to my grandfather's funeral at the same age, also open casket, and I didn't have any issue with it. My memories of it are of feeling sad but also peaceful at the same time. I think it all depends on the kid. 

If your H wants him to go, I think he should. Death is a part of the world we live in and kids are pretty resilient. 

[BioNerd]

Thanks the the responses yall. Grandpa died around 2 this afternoon. As sad as it is, it's also such a huge relief to know he's finally able to rest.

It will definitely be DHs decision on whether DS goes or not. I guess now it's time to go buy him funeral clothes...

[bugandbibs]

I'm sorry for your loss.

Kids and babies would be expected to attend the funeral in my family.

[WinterWine]

I'm so very sorry for your family's loss.

[Marmee]

I'm sorry . I take my kids to funerals. DD1 has been to 3 already by 9yrs old. My DD3 was fine at one this summer at only a new 5yr old.

[indylady]

I was 4 when my grandpa died. I hate to say it was a good experience- as it wasn't- but it definitely shaped my opinion of death and dying positively.

Sorry for your loss.

[womet]

I am sorry for your loss. I'll say that one of my most vivid memories from childhood is when my grandfather died and my parents wouldn't let me go to the funeral. I can recall being upset about not getting to say goodbye, having dinner at the neighbor's house (fried chicken), getting tucked into my parents bed that night. I wish my parents had taken me. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

[Deleted]

I think it is fine whichever you decide.

[awkwardpenguin]

I'm sorry for your loss. I remember going to my grandmother's funeral when I was 5 and it was good for me to learn about death and grieving. I think he's probably old enough to understand a lot.

[awick14]

Im so sorry for your loss.

I spent today at a funeral and there were children there, from about 1 yr+. For the most part they ran around and played together. During the actual service they sat quietly with there parents. (Some had iPads and some just sat there.)

[sassycat]

Oct 25, 2014 20:49:46 GMT -5 womet said:

I am sorry for your loss. I'll say that one of my most vivid memories from childhood is when my grandfather died and my parents wouldn't let me go to the funeral. I can recall being upset about not getting to say goodbye, having dinner at the neighbor's house (fried chicken), getting tucked into my parents bed that night. I wish my parents had taken me. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

I would also like to add I am so sorry for your loss.   

The same thing happened to me.  It was my fav grandpa that died, and I didn't get the chance to say goodbye, and to this day it still bothers me. 
If your H feels he should go, then yes by all means, but stay close and explain it in a way that he will understand and not be so scared.   

[sa]

I'm very sorry for your loss.