Turn Your Princess-Obsessed Toddler Into a Feminist in Eight

[auntie]

By DEVORAH BLACHOR OCTOBER 24, 2014 1:52 PMOctober 24, 2014 1:52 pm 10 Comments

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Credit Devorah Blachor

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1. Read the Brothers Grimm version of Snow White in which Snow White is asked to clean, cook, make beds, wash and sew for the dwarfs in exchange for shelter from the evil queen. Ask your toddler to imagine what might have been different if the dwarfs had been female instead of male, and instead of a tiny cottage in the Wood, if Snow White had stumbled upon Wellesley College.



2. Wonder aloud, what with Cinderella’s history as a cleaner, if she and Prince Charming are likely to share the division of labor in their home. Remark that, if the immaculate state of his white gloves is anything to go by, it’s difficult to imagine that he ever takes out the garbage.



3. Speculate if there is a connection between the Greek mythological Aurora, the goddess of the dawn who arose from the ocean in a saffron robe and rode her horse-drawn chariot across the sky ahead of the sun, sprinkling dew upon the earth, and the Disney Aurora who fainted after getting a booboo from a spinning wheel and whose prince needed to be rescued by bickering fairies. Decide that no, there’s likely no relationship at all.



4. Praise Belle for her love of reading, but segue into a discussion about the Stockholm syndrome as it relates to women, and how that might shed insight into the phenomenon of women who stay in toxic relationships.



5. Propose that the hatred that Anastasia and Drizella feel toward Cinderella is not the fault of the stepsisters, so much as it represents a complete indictment of Western society and its attitudes toward feminine beauty. Suggest that all three women might be victims of the same impossible societal pressures. Work in this timeless Naomi Wolf gem: “The contemporary ravages of the beauty backlash are destroying women physically and depleting us psychologically.”



6. Chuckle about the patriarchal shenanigans of King Triton. Before the laughter subsides, ask why, in fact, everyone was so threatened by the idea of Ursula the sea witch becoming ruler, when it’s clear that she was extremely capable. Point out why Ursula might have valid reasons for becoming so frustrated about the glass ceiling under the sea. Finally, concede that while it’s very nice that Ariel and Eric were able to marry, it’s too bad that King Triton had the final say over Ariel’s body in deciding whether she would be a fish or a human being.



7. Note the similarities between Princess Jasmine and Emma Woodhouse. Point out that if all the energy that went into finding the “right man” was instead diverted to say, solving global warming or participating in government office – something impossible in Jane Austen’s day but well within your daughter’s reach – then we would all be so much better off. Here you might want to bake cupcakes in honor of International Women’s Day.



8. Make a list of wishes your daughter might ask to be granted from her fairy godmother. When the list is completed, tap your daughter’s forehead gently and then say excitedly: “I found your fairy godmother! It’s your brain and she’s been right here all along!”



Congratulations! Your Princess Toddler is now a feminist. What were you so worried about? Once you speak logically to a toddler, they always listen. Next Up: How to Toilet Train the Willful Child in 24 Hours on an Overseas Trip.



Devorah Blachor wrote the Diary of an International Move column for Motherlode. She also writes a mystery series under the pen name Jasmine Schwartz. Her novels include “Farbissen” and “Fakakt.”



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[josieposy]

Uh huh.

[ringstrue]

Ugh. I wish there was this much scrutiny of relationship issues when all the boys were obsessed with pirates a few years back.

[SmartyCat]

Oct 25, 2014 13:10:27 GMT -5 auntie said:

Congratulations! Your Princess Toddler is now a feminist. What were you so worried about? Once you speak logically to a toddler, they always listen. Next Up: How to Toilet Train the Willful Child in 24 Hours on an Overseas Trip.

[heyjude]

How about "how to turn your son into a feminist in 8 easy steps by analyzing the male normative super hero culture"?

[heyjude]

Oct 25, 2014 16:32:24 GMT -5 ringstrue said:

Ugh. I wish there was this much scrutiny of relationship issues when all the boys were obsessed with pirates a few years back.

No. No. No. You don't get it. It's only an issue when girls like it.

[pescalita]

I knew a woman who taught her daughter that the white dress at the end of the story was a college graduation robe.

[secretlyevil]

TIC correct?

[Skyesthelimit1212]

My dd is almost 2, if she wants to wear tutus then I'm going to let her. Damn-it, let little kids be little kids! There is enough pain and stupidity in this world that if my daughter wants to dress up as a princess then I'm going to freaking let her. She has enough time to grow up and learn how to be a strong woman that pays her own way AND knows how to do her own laundry. WTF.

[Deleted]

Oct 25, 2014 16:51:45 GMT -5 heyjude said:

How about "how to turn your son into a feminist in 8 easy steps by analyzing the male normative super hero culture"?

This article should be entitled "how to be a goddamned funsucker in 8 easy steps."

[downtoearth]

Oct 27, 2014 11:02:28 GMT -5 @helenabonhamcarter said:

Oct 25, 2014 16:51:45 GMT -5 heyjude said:

How about "how to turn your son into a feminist in 8 easy steps by analyzing the male normative super hero culture"?

This article should be entitled "how to be a goddamned funsucker in 8 easy steps."

Wasn't that the point - to be funny about it or did I miss the point?