For those of you following my crazy work saga...

[Deleted]

You guys.YOU GUYS. Shit went down yesterday at work and I am still rattled by it.

We had a team development training with an outside consultant. Consultant was very good, but it devolved rapidly. Consultant asked us to define the current workplace culture, and no one answered because the answer (intimidated, fearful of retribution, untrusting of the boss, anxious, etc) was something that just couldn't be said in front of the Boss Lady. It was so awkward, and then heated, and then just more awful! We took a break and came back in to find the consultant rubbing boss lady's back while boss lady wiped tears.

At the end of the session, during a wrap up exercise, the Boss Lady "made a joke" that "you're all getting written up on Monday."

I just don't even know what to do!

[dancingirl21]

This sounds like a toxic environment. I hope you're looking!

So did someone eventually tell the consultant about the state of things?

[Deleted]

I'm looking!

I'm not certain if anyone ever just flat out pulled the consultant into the hallway and told it to her straight. I wanted to, but had no opportunity.

[hamster]

I'm pretty sure you have a cold and can't go in on Monday.

[Pom]

OMG, that sounds...insane. Did boss lady instigate this activity? Talk about blowing up in your crazy-ass face if she did. WTF, she can't be that oblivious.

I am sending you mega new job vibes.

[lime]

Jesus, that's awful. Sorry you are dealing with this.

So, the consultant is paid by the boss. Even if someone had been honest, it isn't like the consultant would have been able to truly be helpful or anything would change.

IDK the backstory but I assume you are looking?

[2boys2danes]

Ok so this is the kind of work I do for a living (and have for about 25 years)…that sounds awful and horrid! I would still be up worrying about WTH happened also if that happened in one of my sessions. I do a lot of pushing to get things out, and sometimes tears come from both sides but yikes on this one! Good luck!

[Deleted]

Oct 25, 2014 16:17:35 GMT -5 Pom said:

OMG, that sounds...insane. Did boss lady instigate this activity? Talk about blowing up in your crazy-ass face if she did. WTF, she can't be that oblivious.

I am sending you mega new job vibes.

Yes, boss lady instigated the activity. It's the third session my department (10 people) has had with her. Generally, she's provided some really valuable insights into managing workplace stress in the past. I like the trainer but wonder wtf they expected to get out of asking the question "describe the workplace culture." It just underscores how disconnected boss lady is from what's happening in the department.

[Deleted]

Oct 25, 2014 16:41:27 GMT -5 2boys2danes said:

Ok so this is the kind of work I do for a living (and have for about 25 years)…that sounds awful and horrid! I would still be up worrying about WTH happened also if that happened in one of my sessions. I do a lot of pushing to get things out, and sometimes tears come from both sides but yikes on this one! Good luck!

It may have been very necessary for all of us, but it ended pretty abruptly and we all walked out feeling vulnerable and scared. I'm usually done with throwing hard things on the table and talking about them but that was awful! It felt so very counterproductive. I don't see (yet) how any good could have come from that.

[Deleted]

Oct 25, 2014 16:45:29 GMT -5 @starry said:

Wtf on the back rub. Aren't you in the public sector?

Yep!

[Deleted]

So let me set the scene for you all a little bit too. Previous training sessions were held in our conference room. This one was held off site, in a dining room of the country club (because Boss Lady is a member). We were all told to arrive at 1pm. In the past, we've been berated for being 2 minutes late for a staff meeting because we were meeting with a walk in customer or stuck on the phone. I mean, berated, belittled, and mention of it in our annual review.

So we all arrive on time. Boss Lady, my manager and the other manager are having lunch at the bar because their morning session went long. So we all proceed into the meeting space and sit at a table. Then the managers come in at 1:35, after having lunch, and sit at the other table. Then we bring the tables together, though the division of management vs. worker bees.

We didn't actually start the session until 2pm, and it didn't end until 5:30pm on a Friday night.

I just... What the flying fuck just happened!?

[Deleted]

Oct 25, 2014 17:41:33 GMT -5 @rennido said:

Is there nobody above this lady?

The Big Boss is an absolute chickenshit. And he's totally hitched her wagon to her. We'd had 3 bosses in 3 years when he hired her. Her predecessor basically lit the building on fire when he left, 'meeting with all kinds of people on his way out of town to tell people how awful Big Boss is. Big Boss hired Boss Lady and charged her with "fixing" our department. She came in and fired 2 people, then fired one of the replacements, and drove another highly respected member of our department to leave without another job lined up. Another very valuable employee from another department, who worked closely with ours and Boss Lady, quit last month to take another job.

Long story short, Big Boss won't fore her. Unless he gets fired, which is a real possibility.

[jennistarr1]

Omg...thank goodness none of you spoke up

[Deleted]

Holy crap.

And wtf to this:

Oct 25, 2014 16:02:53 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

We took a break and came back in to find the consultant rubbing boss lady's back while boss lady wiped tears.

!

[Deleted]

Oct 25, 2014 18:20:43 GMT -5 @mrschicken said:

Holy crap.

And wtf to this:

Oct 25, 2014 16:02:53 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

We took a break and came back in to find the consultant rubbing boss lady's back while boss lady wiped tears.

!

To be fair, the consultant is a 65 year old former kindergarten teacher with a career change towards leadership coaching.

[Deleted]

Oct 25, 2014 18:48:00 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

Oct 25, 2014 18:20:43 GMT -5 @mrschicken said:

Holy crap.

And wtf to this:

To be fair, the consultant is a 65 year old former kindergarten teacher with a career change towards leadership coaching.

Ah, that makes sense.

[ellipses84]

That's sounds truly awful. If the lady is hired by your boss I don't know how much good talking to her alone would be without risking it getting back to your boss. I used to have a boss who would always hire outside consultants for everything instead of consulting his own team who actually understood how his business worked, and their loyalty always went to the boss paying them. I think your boss is on a power trip due to the authority and responsibility big boss had given her and she really doesn't know how to manage people. I guess the only hope is that this coach will give her some insight on what is an appropriate/inappropriate or an effective/ineffective way to manage.

[Deleted]

Oct 25, 2014 21:47:49 GMT -5 ellipses84 said:

That's sounds truly awful. If the lady is hired by your boss I don't know how much good talking to her alone would be without risking it getting back to your boss. I used to have a boss who would always hire outside consultants for everything instead of consulting his own team who actually understood how his business worked, and their loyalty always went to the boss paying them. I think your boss is on a power trip due to the authority and responsibility big boss had given her and she really doesn't know how to manage people. I guess the only hope is that this coach will give her some insight on what is an appropriate/inappropriate or an effective/ineffective way to manage.

By the end of it, the session leader was talking about the trauma that was present in the room that we needs to address and be able to move oast. But that statement was at 5:15lm and we all wanted to gtfo of there. Yeah, there's trauma!

[Pom]

What a toxic situation. As for boss lady, and big boss it reminds me of the adage...the fish rots from the head down. I am sorry this will probably never improve with these ass clowns in charge. As for team building with that sort of leadership you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit. Sorry these are places Me. P and I have Been w/ past employers. Hang in there.

[Deleted]

Oct 26, 2014 10:09:01 GMT -5 Pom said:

What a toxic situation. As for boss lady, and big boss it reminds me of the adage...the fish rots from the head down. I am sorry this will probably never improve with these ass clowns in charge. As for team building with that sort of leadership you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit. Sorry these are places Me. P and I have Been w/ past employers. Hang in there.

The longer I think about it, the more terrified I am that what I said on Friday, in what felt like a "safe" environment, with come back to bite me in the ass. I phrased my words very carefully, but still. Damn. 

I've been texting all weekend with two other coworkers. We're all really anxious about it too. Ugh.

[gogreengowhite]

@idaholakelady I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

Nutcase bosses are the worst! I hope you can get some sleep tonight and not worry about what will happen tomorrow.