Tell me what's going on - or give me hair pats

[Odonata]

DD so far has been pretty good and on a routine of eating/sleeping every 2-3 hours. The past two nights she went 4 hours between feeds and it's been great.  When she fusses I can usually calm her down.

Today?  She just screams and acts hungry all. the. time.  She has not napped since noon today.  She will nod off for a few minutes but then be up again and acting hungry, wide awake, and then screams.  Usually if she needs more food we give her another oz and then she's good and falls asleep but today it's like every 10 min she acts like she's starving.  A pacifier, which usually helps, is useless today.   I cannot get her to calm down.  I don't think she's hungry since she doesn't calm down even if I offer more food and I do thing she's overtired.  It's like we gave her coffee or something.  It's 9:00 and she's usually asleep by now.  

She's not sick (that I know of), diaper is clean, she's definitely fed, all that is missing is sleep.  She did have bad gas while on the previous formula but she's not scrunched up or acting like she's in pain as she did before.  I've been keeping her in quiet places w/o too much simulation but that is not working.  I'm not having a really good day with my anxiety and my nerves are shot at this point.  She will sleep if on me for a bit longer (but not much) but right now I need to be able to put her down and spend some time w/o her.  H has taken over a few times but he can't calm her so has resorted to holding her while she just screams.  I can't deal with that so I take her back.  He's upstairs with her now trying to swaddle her and she is just screaming harder and I'll probably end  up with her again in a few minutes.  But I'm tired.  No nap for me today either and now I'm so anxious about tonight and assuming there is no sleep in store for me at all.  I'm assuming taking a xanax won't work tonight as it makes me pass out.


So what's up?  Is this a growth spurt?  Any ideas I can try to calm her down and get her to sleep for AT LEAST an hour?  Or is she just going to scream and that's OK?  Maybe I just need some reassurance that this is all just normal so I can calm down.

[Odonata]

Oct 25, 2014 20:15:02 GMT -5 @astrid said:

Have you tried the 5 s's? Swaddle, swing, side, shhh (loud shhh)?

Yep  It worked really well the past two days that I've been doing this.  We even got her to sleep in her crib at night!!!  

But today is a bust.  

[Odonata]

Oct 25, 2014 20:14:44 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

Growth spurt or being a newborn baby. It sucks, I'm sorry.

i have to say, I'm not a fan of the newborn stage. I'm assuming kids are always difficult, but today my anxiety is really high and hours of newborn screaming does not help.  Maybe she can feel I'm edgy and it's affecting her?  

[ringstrue]

When DS does that I give gas drops first thing.

I would try the swing if you have one. Maybe even swaddle and swing. They wake themselves up with their startles which is a natural development thing. That's what the swaddling prevents. The motion also keeps them content. Once she's slept like that for 30 mins or so you can try the crib.

[Deleted]

Tell your H to put her in the car and drive for an hour while you nap. Sounds like she's having a fussy day. It's normal but she will sense your frustration so I vote take care of yourself while he takes a turn. Failing that, bath. And yes you can certainly hold her while she cries. That was bedtime for us for months 2-5ish. Hang in there.

[ringstrue]

Nevermind I'm slow

[Odonata]

Oct 25, 2014 20:17:51 GMT -5 @astrid said:

Have you tried a hair drier 6 feet away? She might need noisier noise.

Have not tried this!  I do have her noise machine on in the room.

We gave a bath and she calmed down.  Once dressed again and swaddled - screaming.

Maybe she was too hot - removed some clothing under the swaddle - did not work.
Too cold? went the other way - no dice.
Maybe she doesn't like being swaddled? Still screamed.

I think next resort would be a drive in the car.  

How did my otherwise calm baby turn into this?  I'm exhausted.  

[ringstrue]

Do you put lotion on her? Does she seem to act like she itches or grabs at her skin or the sides of her head?

[Odonata]

Oct 25, 2014 20:24:25 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

That was bedtime for us for months 2-5ish. Hang in there.

Momma mia!  

I'm going to need to get my anxiety under control if I'm going to survive this.  

I can't believe she's been screaming and fussing ALL DAY.  

So H just came downstairs - she's SLEEPING but for how long I don't know.  He fought her flailing and got her swaddled nice and tight and apparently she's finally sleeping w/o fussing.  Thank god, daddy to the rescue.  He knows I'm edgy today.

Fingers crossed.  In the meantime, I'm getting her car seat ready because a trip around the block is the next move.

But if she gets a good sleep in maybe that'll mean she'll go down easier the next time she's  up?  

[Odonata]

Oct 25, 2014 20:29:57 GMT -5 @this said:

Oct 25, 2014 20:22:01 GMT -5 Odonata said:

Maybe she can feel I'm edgy and it's affecting her?

I just wanted to say to erase this thought from your mind completely. My mom (who is a wonderful, loving, helpful person and meant nothing meanly by it) said this to me once in the newborn stage and I latched onto it and made myself feel guilty for WEEKS for not being more at ease. Of course I wasn't at ease! I'd never had a newborn before and neither have you!

Please please don't think this is true at all. You do the best you can and if you feel stressed or anxious that's lkay. Do what you can to not feel that way, but do it for you. The baby doesn't know either way.

Thanks for saying this.  I totally blame myself sometimes for her being upset.  I guess her fussy day just decided to coincide with a day I'm not feeling particularly stable.   

Thank god for H, though.  He is stepped in and I just buried my face into this computer.  

[Odonata]

Oct 25, 2014 20:27:39 GMT -5 ringstrue said:

Do you put lotion on her? Does she seem to act like she itches or grabs at her skin or the sides of her head?

I didn't notice if she was doing this but I do put lotion on her after her baths.  She's down now (FX!!) but I'll check if she starts up again.  

So dry skin could make her this fussy?  

[Odonata]

Oct 25, 2014 20:37:26 GMT -5 oceanspray said:

Do *not* blame yourself. I'm sorry you're having such a rough night. I hope it gets better.

It has to, right?  I try to keep telling myself that.  I mean, she can't scream forever!  (right?)

She's so not a screamer, usually, so I really feel bad complaining about it tonight.  

[ringstrue]

Oct 25, 2014 20:36:08 GMT -5 Odonata said:

Oct 25, 2014 20:27:39 GMT -5 ringstrue said:

Do you put lotion on her? Does she seem to act like she itches or grabs at her skin or the sides of her head?

I didn't notice if she was doing this but I do put lotion on her after her baths.  She's down now (FX!!) but I'll check if she starts up again.  

So dry skin could make her this fussy?  

Dd was really fussy- basically colicky- and she had baby eczema. I didn't catch a lot of the signs for months. A big one was we were using bad bath products for eczema. Probably not a concern yet for you but when you said "fussy after bath" it popped into my head.

It sounds like she's just super cranky! Hang in there!

[Odonata]

Well, that lasted 20 minutes. But it's the longest nap she's had all day.

H has her now and I'm going to nap because this is looking to be a long night.

[curbsideprophet]

Honestly this sounds pretty typically for life with a newborn. Days like that just happen some times. She sounds tired. I hope you can get her to sleep and you can get some rest as well.

[litasail]

I'm betting 3 week growth spurt. Hang in there. Offer her extra food - she may need more during this time.

[winecheery]

Just offering support…newborn phase was really hard for me, but most especially the first 2-3 weeks. Sometimes, they just have bad days, like anyone else, and crying is the only way they can communicate. I had to remind myself of that alllll the time in the beginning. It's tough! Hope you're sleeping right now!

[anna7602]

DS has days like this occasionally, even though he is generally the chillest baby ever. I break out the birthing ball and bounce him on it when he's inconsolable. If that doesn't work, I break out what DH and I refer to as the "nuclear option"- the carrier. Going for a long walk while wearing him will usually knock him out and keep him asleep for about as long as I can wear him. I've even been able to transfer him from the carrier to the co-sleeper a couple of times and he has stayed asleep.

[Odonata]

Oct 26, 2014 2:23:26 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

DS has days like this occasionally, even though he is generally the chillest baby ever. I break out the birthing ball and bounce him on it when he's inconsolable. If that doesn't work, I break out what DH and I refer to as the "nuclear option"- the carrier. Going for a long walk while wearing him will usually knock him out and keep him asleep for about as long as I can wear him. I've even been able to transfer him from the carrier to the co-sleeper a couple of times and he has stayed asleep.

Wrapping her in the Moby worked today but the transfer off me failed. She does like being on my chest to sleep. I often wish we could have them sleep on their stomachs. She seems to be more content that way. She really dislikes being on her back.

[dulcemariamar]

Hair pats!!! You are doing a great job. Newborns are really hard and super fickle. Will she sleep if you hold her or push her around in the stroller? You are right that she sounds overtired. For the next two naps I would do anything in my power to get her to sleep to see if that can get her back on track.

[nabum]

Sorry

If you're having trouble swaddling maybe try a woombie? I pulled mine out about 2 weeks ago when DD was having a particularly bad night. Game changer- She has slept well every night since.

[game blouses]

We went through this exact thing before I figured out the secret to newborns: they really can't be up for more than an hour at a time or they go crazy with exhaustion. Even if it seems like she can stay up longer with no problem, try to get her to sleep after an hour of being awake. It's a PITA when they fight it, but that crazed crying does stop once they get the routine.

[Odonata]

Oct 26, 2014 5:46:37 GMT -5 game blouses said:

We went through this exact thing before I figured out the secret to newborns: they really can't be up for more than an hour at a time or they go crazy with exhaustion. Even if it seems like she can stay up longer with no problem, try to get her to sleep after an hour of being awake. It's a PITA when they fight it, but that crazed crying does stop once they get the routine.

[br

That was the problem. She would not go down.

[Deleted]

DS screamed for the first 12 weeks of his life. Non-stop. I was super chill (thank God he was my second) and he still screamed. I promise you momma that she is NOT crying because of anything you are doing (or not). The newborn stage is awful. But it will get better! Promise!

[mrssandro]

DD has been experiencing the same stuff. The crying during the evening has been insane. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and there isn't any way this is your fault, Just normal newborn crap. We will get this phase .... hopefully it will be a distant memory soon.

[Odonata]

Thanks for the support. I had to come back and read this thread because, well here I am at almost 3am and she's maybe finally asleep but I'm on the verge of getting into my car and driving away. I need a confidence boost sometimes. It's so hard when they go from predictable to I don't know what the fuck is going on.

Now to try and fall asleep myself. Do they make adult sized swaddles? I neeD my mommy to hug and rock me!

[dulcemariamar]

Oct 27, 2014 2:26:49 GMT -5 Odonata said:

Thanks for the support. I had to come back and read this thread because, well here I am at almost 3am and she's maybe finally asleep but I'm on the verge of getting into my car and driving away. I need a confidence boost sometimes. It's so hard when they go from predictable to I don't know what the fuck is going on.

Now to try and fall asleep myself. Do they make adult sized swaddles? I neeD my mommy to hug and rock me!

I am so sorry for the rough day. Parenting is just one big clusterfuck. Hope tomorrow is better.