I came to a sad realization today

[BlackCanary]

I don't know why it took so long, but I realized that I lost my best friend. I miss him so much, this is the worst part of this whole thing. With my xH, he was a complete jackass, so it was easy to forget about him.

But with H, I still love him. I know it's for the best that we're no longer together, but he was my best friend. And it's so sad when I can't call him to talk about how sad this makes me. 

BUT, I know I have friends I can turn to. Like intentionalsnarkshark, I called her and she made me feel so much better. Makes me laugh so hard and cheered me up right away. 

You guys are the best, I pink puffy heart all of you.

[mcc]

I'm sorry. I post mostly on SO but have followed your story. Sending you hugs

[BlackCanary]

Oct 26, 2014 2:07:16 GMT -5 intentionalsnarkshark said:

<3

[elleblue]

I'm sorry BC. I hope it gets easier sooner rather than later. 

[Nonny]

((HUGS))

I saw your post the other day but didn't have the time to reply. Sorry hon.

[seabitch]

Sorry BC, that was a hard one for me when I realized the same.

[curtains]

Uhg I am sorry. Divorce is such a crazy roller coaster. ((((Hugs)))))

[mrsukyankee]

That truly sucks. Big hugs!

[vicky]

I get that so hard. XH and I were best friends since we were 15. Then poof, gone.

If I could go back to the first few months after my divorce, though? I'd tell myself to stop telling him things, because then those things became ammunition to use against me. The best thing I ever did was realize he was not my friend anymore and I had to look out for myself.

((Hugs))

[Saint Monica]

((BC))

[bonquiqui]

I can relate so much, and what Vicky said is so true.

He was my best friend for 15 years, since we were teens. I promise you that it gets easier.

[rosiebear]

I felt the same way. I'm still not sure why things fell apart the way they did, but like Vicky said, it's best to try not to act as if you are still friends.

Maybe you can be friends one day (X and I are now very friendly, and we even keep some inside jokes going), but not for now. And I know that sucks. I'm really sorry.

[bonquiqui]

The best thing i could do was cut all ties. Hanging on to those "friend moments" only made it harder. Had i cut ties from the beginning, i would have healed faster, but i didn't want to lose my friend.

[toepick]

I've been divorced for 6 years, and every once in a while I almost pick up the phone to tell him something.  And then I remember.

Because we don't have kids, I haven't spoken to him since the divorce and have no idea what his life is like, and it's so weird.  The biggest person in your life...and then nothing.  

[cats]

I'm sorry you're hurting.


(((hugs)))

[kayakjenn]

Oct 26, 2014 10:14:34 GMT -5 toepick said:

Because we don't have kids, I haven't spoken to him since the divorce and have no idea what his life is like, and it's so weird.  The biggest person in your life...and then nothing.  

This, exactly. It's been 19 years since my divorce and if I let my mind wander I still think "How is it possible I don't know this person anymore?" He was the most important person in my life for 9 years and then we had zero contact almost overnight (it was more like 4 months until we never spoke again but it felt like an instant.) 

[WOT?*]

I just want to send hugs. You'll get through this BC. And I'm glad you have snarkshark a phone call away. It helps to have someone to call when it feels like you have nobody since you don't have "him" anymore. But you have someone. I'm glad of it. It will get easier and life will get better.