Has anyone experienced a 2nd tri loss?

[Coley]

I apologize ahead of time if I'm in the wrong place.

I was told to prepare for stillbirth due to low amniotic fluid (I'm 20 weeks). With my first son I had a scheduled c-section. This time I know I will have to deliver, on top of having blot clots/being on blood thinners, and I am terrified.

Does anyone have any links or blogs that will prepare for this scenario? The Google wasn't the best when it came to this stuff.

[konapoppy]

I am so sorry. No experience, but lots of hugs.

[miamigirl]

I have no experience. But I'm so so sorry. Hugs

[raangoli]

I don't have any help to offer, but I wanted to offer hugs and strength instead. You are in my thoughts.

[Muddled]

I'm so very sorry. Please take care of yourself.
Tagging loira and HoneySpider in the hopes that they can offer you some comfort.

[ouokie]

I'm so sorry for your loss!

[HoneySpider]

Thanks Muddled for tagging me.

Coley I am so, so sorry you are going through this. We TFMR at 20 weeks last year. Are they going to be inducing labor or doing a D&E? I had a D&E which was 2 days of dilation and evacuation on day 3. The whole process is sort of a blur thanks to lots of meds and of course, extreme emotions. There are a lot of decisions you have to make that are really individual - for instance, we did not see the baby nor did we name her. We were both kind of numb for a while - I don't think it really sunk in until later on what we had gone through especially once we had to go back to "real life" and everyone else basically moved on.

I'm not sure what exact questions you have or what info you're looking for but I'm always willing to share my experience, I've been very open about it so please feel free to ask.

I'm not sure that anything I can say can make you feel any better or provide comfort or help you feel less terrified but I do want you to know that you are not alone. You can always PM me if you want to talk privately! I also run a nonprofit organization called Through the Heart (www.throughtheheart.org) that helps people deal with pregnancy loss.

[Mushe]

I don't have experience with this beyond my mother's loss 35 years ago, but I wanted to say how sorry I am that you're experiencing this loss. Wishing you peace.

[achi]

I am so incredibly sorry.

[awick14]

I am so very sorry for your loss and what you are going through.

I haven't had a late second tri loss, mine was very early in the second tri. (Just over 15 weeks.)

Please allow yourself to feel all the feelings, it's hard but you need to get them out there.

If you need to talk pm me, if you would like.

[macmars45]

 I'm so sorry for your loss.

[ginkgoleaf]

I so sorry you are going through this. Be kind to yourself.

[rockinrobyn]

I don't have experience with this either. But wanted to say how sorry I am you are having to go through this.

[mac08]

No experience here, but I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss.

[Coley]

Thank you all. I just met with the specialist and he confirmed that there's only one kidney and its malformed. He said baby will not make it and now we wait. He said I could go to term or if his heart stops sooner, they will induce.

HoneySpider, thank you as well. They won't do D&E's here in south FL at this stage (illegal) so my only option is delivery unless I want to go further south. Since I also have blood clots, I don't think I want to go to a different county/docs that don't know my history. Though I've thought about it.

[awick14]

((Coley)) the waiting is so hard. I hope for your sake that it's sooner then later.

As I don't know much about the laws in the US I have a few questions. Feel free to tell me to get lost.

I get from your post that D&Es are illegal but they will induce if the babies heart stops?

What is the cut off for D&Cs?

[HoneySpider]

Coley I'm sorry, not having choices is really hard. No one in my area would do it either at 20 weeks so we went ~4 hours away to Houston which was the closest place.

All I can say is that no matter what you decide to do, or when you do it, let people be there for you and don't be afraid to lean on them. You'll probably find your family & friends WANT to help but don't know how, so don't be afraid to tell them exactly what it is you need.

[aprilsails]

I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you and I'm even more upset that you will have to continue to carry even though the pregnancy is not viable.

Hugs to you and your DH.

[raangoli]

Coley - I am so so sorry. You are in my thoughts. Hugs to you.

[MrsMB]

Many hugs and prayers your way...

[shauni27]

I am so so so sorry to hear this. How awful. I will be thinking of you.

[Coley]

awick14 I'm not sure, to be honest. I had a d&c at 10 weeks last November due to that baby's HB stopping (and then another one a week after because it was a partial molar pregnancy). I'd assume the cut off would be first tri?

[awick14]

Coley- thanx for answering. I hate how they have cut offs for things like this. A woman's mental health is just as important and I feel like they are denying a woman the right to have proper mental health care in these situations. Sorry that was a bit of a rant.

Again I am so sorry Hun. ((Hugs))

[loira]

Oct 27, 2014 12:34:15 GMT -5 Coley said:

Thank you all. I just met with the specialist and he confirmed that there's only one kidney and its malformed. He said baby will not make it and now we wait. He said I could go to term or if his heart stops sooner, they will induce.

HoneySpider, thank you as well. They won't do D&E's here in south FL at this stage (illegal) so my only option is delivery unless I want to go further south. Since I also have blood clots, I don't think I want to go to a different county/docs that don't know my history. Though I've thought about it.

I'm so sorry I didn't respond earlier. I've been travelling and just returned today. My H and I made the difficult decision to TFMR at 23 weeks because our daughter was diagnosed with a genetic disorder. They gave her an injection to stop her heart, but because of how far along I was, I had to be induced and deliver vaginally. I don't know how widely the process will differ for you (I live in the UK). The midwives were amazingly kind, and they gave me a PCA morphine drip which I controlled myself. Labour for me was quite long, but I'm told that I was the exception and that usually it is very short. We were able to see our daughter after.

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.

Please feel free to PM me any other questions you might have. 

Thanks Muddled for tagging me.

[vanillahip]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. And raging at the laws restricting you from taking care of yourself appropriately. ::so many hugs:: I'm so sorry

[Coley]

I just wanted to come back and thank all of you all for your posts. I've been lurking and laying low but I wanted to say that your words all helped greatly.

I ended up having a D&E on 11/7/14 due to my issue with blood clots and previous c-section. My OB advised that it was the safest method for me at the time. The D&E went well (it sounds awful to even type that) but I mean that it was complete and there were no complications.

I want to wish all of you ladies the best of luck and hope that you all get your BFP's with healthy pregnancies. ❤️

[sometimesrunner]

((Coley)) I'm so glad everything went smoothly.

[shauni27]

Nov 12, 2014 9:29:50 GMT -5 Coley said:

I just wanted to come back and thank all of you all for your posts. I've been lurking and laying low but I wanted to say that your words all helped greatly.

I ended up having a D&E on 11/7/14 due to my issue with blood clots and previous c-section. My OB advised that it was the safest method for me at the time. The D&E went well (it sounds awful to even type that) but I mean that it was complete and there were no complications.

I want to wish all of you ladies the best of luck and hope that you all get your BFP's with healthy pregnancies. ❤️

I'm so sorry you had to go through this and I wish you so much healing and support.  I am glad the procedure went well.

[pantaloons55]

I'm so sorry Coley. I am glad that everything went smoothly. Please take good care of yourself. (hugs)

[vanillahip]

::so many hugs::