My job is causing me sooo much stress. My manager has been terrible and I really don't know how much longer I can deal with it. Yesterday when we were interviewing someone, she made it fairly clear that she doesn't like me on a personal level. When I first started here, I used to go home and cry daily because of how mean she was to me. It is back to being that way. My husband is begging me to just quit and stay home to focus on passing the CPA exam. He said that he is tired of having to see me being upset and depressed 24/7.
This is my first job out of college (been here 2.5 years). My department is currently really struggling to keep up. We have been a person short (different positions for different periods of time) since February. If I were to leave I'm honestly not sure how they would manage to keep up. I took on a new huge task in April. The person who had it before me made a big mistake and it will take about two weeks of dedicated work for me to hopefully find it. Since we have been so short handed, I haven't been allowed to even try to find it. I probably won't be able to look into it until someone has been hired and has worked here for about 2 months.
From a financial standpoint, I think we could afford to have me not work. It wouldn't be ideal budget wise, but we could do it. We would definitely have to cut out our massages and housekeeper. We would have to keep an eye on our spending. We would save nothing during this period, but I don't think we would have to dip into savings. My employer's contribution toward my retirement does not vest until I have been here for 3 years. I would lose $10k in retirement because of that. Since I haven't been able to use my PTO recently, I am over our reimbursement limit and would lose out on $1,500 of my payout. There is no way that my manager will approve me using all of my overage anytime soon.
So what should I do? I really want to quit, but I feel like it is such a stupid financial move to quit before my 3 years here. I have looked into internal transfers, but there is nothing open that matches what I do. I don't know if I can last 6 more months.
Well, to answer the question in your post title, no it wouldn't be career suicide. I was all set to tell you to quit, based on the facts you provided, until I saw you are only 6 months away from vesting. That is giving me pause.
When is your CPA exam? I know you've been posted a lot about the stress it's been causing your family. How much longer till that is off your plate?
I gave up vesting in a very generous pension plan by quitting a job I hated years ago. Ten years later, I still waver on whether that was the right decision. Mostly because we are not doing great at retirement saving.
It sounds like after you pass your exam you'll have better employment opportunities anyway, though?
Vest and then quit. Changing jobs cost me a lot of money over the years. I think if you have an end date in mind it will be easier to take the stress. I wouldn't worry at all about what they're going to do without you. I worked with someone like you describe and she is the reason they are shorthanded.
Post by polarbearfans on Oct 28, 2014 12:03:36 GMT -5
I stayed at a job I hated until my 401k was vested. Can you get a payout of your vacation time without actually taking time off? My company is now on a use it or lose, so since it is hard to get a vacation, I have a little bit paid out every check since I can ask for as much as I want even if I am working my full time hours
eta: if you can, I would stick it out, but I don't think it would be something you regret if you just quit. I had a job that seriously made me sick to go to... Like worst migraines just walking to the building. Do what you need to do for yourself. If you can stick it out, but don't stress over $10k. It's a lot of money but not at the risk of your mental and physical health
I was going to tell you to quit until you said you were six months away from vesting. If you can't take PTO, can you take a sick (mental health) day? I would start applying for jobs and try to stay until you are vested.
I was forced to resign from a job and honestly it was the best thing that ever happened to me. In your situation, would you stay home or look for another job? I don't think you have kids yet. Do you want to stay home if you have children?
I quit and looked for jobs until I found out I was pregnant a few months later. In my state I was eligible for unemployment, depending on your state you might be able to get it.
No. I am nervous about getting a new job while studying. My work/study balance is already tough and I think it would only be worse at other jobs. If I remained within my company, I wouldn't be so nervous about the work/life balance, but there are no openings. i would rather take a few months off to focus on my CPA and then get a new job.
Sorry you have to deal with all that. I would just keep your head down and do your work and try to avoid anything/anyone that causes you misery. Plan some things to look forward to ... go out for lunch, put something pretty on your desk like a nice photo or a potted plant or a funny cartoon, call a friend or H from the parking lot for a few minutes, do something fun after work. Apply for jobs once you get home for the day. Take sick/mental health days once in a while to recharge. Try to stick it out until you hit the three-year mark and then re-evaulate - hopefully you'll have a new job offer by then.
But if it's really having a serious impact on your physical and mental health ... then just quit and look for something else. $10k is a lot of money, sure, but your health and sanity is worth more in the long run. You can always earn more money and save more aggressively.
Aside from everything else that's been mentioned ... don't worry about how they'd manage without you. It isn't your responsibility to be miserable just to make things easier on them. Especially with a manager who's mean to you. I stayed at a job I hated because I felt I owed it to them, and then they turned around and fired me a short time later. So, really, don't put yourself through hell just to try and please them.
I don't know a ton about the CPA exam, but is it fairly common for people to stop working in order to study for and pass the exam?
I have a friend who is working on her exams to become a licensed therapist and she said it's not unheard of for people to do exactly this once all they need to do is take the tests. Then they usually open a private practice though, so they don't need to worry about the resume gap.
Well, to answer the question in your post title, no it wouldn't be career suicide. I was all set to tell you to quit, based on the facts you provided, until I saw you are only 6 months away from vesting. That is giving me pause.
When is your CPA exam? I know you've been posted a lot about the stress it's been causing your family. How much longer till that is off your plate?
I gave up vesting in a very generous pension plan by quitting a job I hated years ago. Ten years later, I still waver on whether that was the right decision. Mostly because we are not doing great at retirement saving.
It sounds like after you pass your exam you'll have better employment opportunities anyway, though?
I have passed 1/4 of it. I find out in 2 weeks about the 2nd part (not a good feeling about how I did). I take the 3rd section around thanksgiving. If everything goes right, I would be done in February or April at the latest. I vest in my retirement in May. I should definitely have more opportunities. things would be so much smoother if I quit once I was done with my CPA and vested. But that is like 6-7 months longer.
Post by tacosforlife on Oct 28, 2014 12:17:45 GMT -5
I know that sometimes you have to quit for your sanity, but I wouldn't quit without at least TRYING to find another job first. The job market is rough, and finding a job is a hell of a lot easier when you already have a job than when you're unemployed.
I stayed at a job I hated until my 401k was vested. Can you get a payout of your vacation time without actually taking time off? My company is now on a use it or lose, so since it is hard to get a vacation, I have a little bit paid out every check since I can ask for as much as I want even if I am working my full time hours
eta: if you can, I would stick it out, but I don't think it would be something you regret if you just quit. I had a job that seriously made me sick to go to... Like worst migraines just walking to the building. Do what you need to do for yourself. If you can stick it out, but don't stress over $10k. It's a lot of money but not at the risk of your mental and physical health
They will knly do a payout for 1year of PTO. Any PTO over that limit, you lose if you quit. I just hate the thought of throwing away $1,500 so that's why I mentioned taking time off to use it up.
I don't know a ton about the CPA exam, but is it fairly common for people to stop working in order to study for and pass the exam?
I have a friend who is working on her exams to become a licensed therapist and she said it's not unheard of for people to do exactly this once all they need to do is take the tests. Then they usually open a private practice though, so they don't need to worry about the resume gap.
Some people do, but I would say the majority keep working. I just worry about quitting to study--will that negatively impact my change of getting a new job? Will they think I can't handle big projects or stress?
Plus this is my one professional job and I know my manager won't give me a positive review no matter what. Her star employee who could do no wrong quit 2 years ago. She still bad mouths her. People call for a job reference and my manager doesn't say anything bad, but she makes it clear that she has negative thoughts about the employee's performance. It's like a switch flipped from her being great to being the worst. Nothing bad was discovered or anything.
I don't know a ton about the CPA exam, but is it fairly common for people to stop working in order to study for and pass the exam?
I have a friend who is working on her exams to become a licensed therapist and she said it's not unheard of for people to do exactly this once all they need to do is take the tests. Then they usually open a private practice though, so they don't need to worry about the resume gap.
Some people do, but I would say the majority keep working. I just worry about quitting to study--will that negatively impact my change of getting a new job? Will they think I can't handle big projects or stress?
Plus this is my one professional job and I know my manager won't give me a positive review no matter what. Her star employee who could do no wrong quit 2 years ago. She still bad mouths her. People call for a job reference and my manager doesn't say anything bad, but she makes it clear that she has negative thoughts about the employee's performance. It's like a switch flipped from her being great to being the worst. Nothing bad was discovered or anything.
I don't know if it's true all across the US, but I thought that in most states a previous employer can only confirm that you worked at the company for the dates you provided on your resume to the new company? And not interject their personal opinion of what kind of worker you are.
And you've worked there for 2.5 years. Surely if you were THAT bad of an employee they would've fired you long ago, right? I'm sure a potential future employer will see it that way too. Just prepare some materials before interviews that demonstrate positive things you've done for your current company - charts, numbers, statistics. And depending on how small your industry is, and if you're applying in your current area, a potential future employer might very well have heard through the grapevine that your current boss is a jerk.
If you need personal references for a future job, I would ask college professors and mentors, anyone you may have done an internship for, etc. Start thinking of professionals that would happily give you a good recommendation. I'm sure a lot of employers understand that you may want to leave your job because of a toxic environment ... but of course you can't say that in the interview if they ask. Just say something about wanting to challenge yourself, expand your horizons, move forward in the field, etc. "I went as high as I could go at Crappy Company. I'd like to further my career, and I feel that Potential New Company would provide a good opportunity for growth."
I would probably try to stick it out. But if you decide you can't, I wouldn't worry about the lost PTO. It doesn't sound like you'll be able to ever take it anyway, so sticking around doesn't really help that situation. Can you take a few days off and say you're sick? Maybe a break will help you feel better (and use up some of the PTO).
I don't think it would be career suicide to quit now, but it might make it harder to find a job. And finding a job can take a while, so if you quit now and didn't want to start anything until spring, you might end up unemployed for several months after that while looking. IDK. Just seems a little riskier than I'd prefer, especially if you'd be ok financially short term but not long term (not sure if that's the case).
Honestly I would try to suck it up and stay at least until you vest. I don't think it would permanently hurt your career prospects to have a resume gap, but in my experience most people take the CPA exam while working, and therefore they will have a leg up on you when you are looking for jobs again. What state are you in? If you quit now, would you have enough work experience to get your license once you pass the exam?
All that being said, if you don't think you can pass while at your job, or you are really at your limit in terms of the stress and unpleasantness it is causing you, then you should quit. Because you will be able to get another job, and you don't deserve to live life in misery. I've had my share of crappy jobs and I wish I hadn't stayed at them as long as I did.
Do you work in a firm now or a private company? A lot of accounting firms are very supportive of staff members taking the exam and you might find that to be a better, more supportive environment even if the work load is demanding,
Good luck! You will get through this. And the best thing about the CPA exam is once you pass, you never have to take it again
Also I'll be the dissenter and say vesting is not as big of a deal to me. 10k sounds like a lot but it's really not that much in the grand scheme of things, and you're young (right?) so you have plenty of time to make up for it. I wouldn't try to make a habit of that throughout your career or anything, but to get out of a toxic situation I wouldn't let that small amount of money stop me. If it really bothers you, maybe cut massages/housekeeper for a few months once you're in a new job and save up some extra to offset the loss.
I would try to hang in there another 6 months to get the $10k. That is a lot and you're almost there. At the very least, I would hold off on any big decisions right now. Make sure you're taking time for yourself and away from studying/work/chores. 20 minutes a day can really help with balance (I say this as a person who was a pretty huge basket case throughout most of grad school). Once you have your results from your most recent exam, maybe sit down and make a comprehensive list of options - revising your exam schedule, finding a different job, taking time off altogether, throwing money at whatever you can to lighten your load, etc.
I would stay for six months and take time off during that time (even if you can't use all of it, at least take a week or two off). Then quit in 6 months. It might be easier to survive your horrible boss knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I would stay or get a different job. I know studying for the CPA exam is hard! I gave up a year of my social life to do it. What is your ideal career path once you get your CPA? Have you passed any sections yet? Honestly I am a CPA and know other a lot of other CPAs and none quit their jobs to study.
Some people do, but I would say the majority keep working. I just worry about quitting to study--will that negatively impact my change of getting a new job? Will they think I can't handle big projects or stress?
Plus this is my one professional job and I know my manager won't give me a positive review no matter what. Her star employee who could do no wrong quit 2 years ago. She still bad mouths her. People call for a job reference and my manager doesn't say anything bad, but she makes it clear that she has negative thoughts about the employee's performance. It's like a switch flipped from her being great to being the worst. Nothing bad was discovered or anything.
I don't know if it's true all across the US, but I thought that in most states a previous employer can only confirm that you worked at the company for the dates you provided on your resume to the new company? And not interject their personal opinion of what kind of worker you are.
What makes you say this? Do you have any authority to support it?
There is SO much misinformation about employment law out there. If you can't at least cite to a statute or a landmark case, please PLEASE do not go around handing out quasi-legal advice based on something you think.
I don't think it's career suicide, but I don't think it will help you in the future at all. Accounting jobs are hard to come by and it may take awhile after your CPA exam to find something. I wouldn't want to explain the gap if I didn't have to. I'd try to stay for the 6 months, it's easier if you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Do your best to use up that PTO and give yourself a break.
Is your current job paying for your CPA? Will there be negative impacts if you leave now?
I don't know if it's true all across the US, but I thought that in most states a previous employer can only confirm that you worked at the company for the dates you provided on your resume to the new company? And not interject their personal opinion of what kind of worker you are.
What makes you say this? Do you have any authority to support it?
There is SO much misinformation about employment law out there. If you can't at least cite to a statute or a landmark case, please PLEASE do not go around handing out quasi-legal advice based on something you think.
How stable is your husband's job? How much of an emergency fund do you guys have?
Honestly I'm not sure how to answer. He works in the oil field. Our efund could be better. Right now I think it is about 4 months. My husband could be getting a bonus soon that would double our efund. My PTO payout will add a month or two to it. If it came down to it, I could always go work at my family's business but I rather avoid that at all possible costs.
I've done this before, and I just did it recently. I was also all set to tell you to quit until you mentioned the retirement vesting. Honestly, I'd wait that out and over those 6 months, try to use up some vacation time too.
My story: I changed jobs and it ended up being a huge mistake. I completely hated it, was crying at work, the stress was killing me. It actually also helped me decide that I needed to change industries, so I had a career transition coming up anyway. I was only at the job 6 months when I quit. We were lucky that we had a good savings and were prepared for me to be out of work for up to a year. We tightened our spending up and were also not saving anything during the time I was unemployed (this is why having a good e-fund saved up allowed me to do this). I ended up taking 2 months off and just doing nothing (I needed it) and then I started job searching. I was unemployed about 8 months before I started a new job that is a much better fit.
So my advice to you is to go over your finances and start making plans. Due to the retirement, I'd really try to stick it out another 6 months. Then have your exit plan ready. If you plan to take some time off, make sure you plan for how long it will realistically take to find a new job. Or you could just start job searching now (or maybe in 3 months), since that will likely take you past your 6 months to vesting.
If you do decide to quit without something lined up, it is definitely not career suicide. But realistically, the longer you are unemployed, the more of a negative it becomes on your resume. Just be prepared and have a plan.
I'd also recommend not feeling bad about leaving your company due to the work load. You mentioned not knowing how they'd do the work without you. That's not your problem, that's them being bad at managing work loads. You probably wouldn't be so miserable and thinking of leaving if they treated you better and managed your work better. Don't feel guilty if you decide to leave! A job is a job, nothing more. They wouldn't hesitate to lay you off if they needed to, so you should definitely not feel bad jumping ship if that is what is in your best interest.
ETA: The other thing I'd recommend is cutting back your expenses NOW to boost your e-fund. The larger e-fund you have, the more options you have. Just in case you reach a breaking point, it is better to start building that buffer as soon as possible.
I don't think it's career suicide, but I don't think it will help you in the future at all. Accounting jobs are hard to come by and it may take awhile after your CPA exam to find something. I wouldn't want to explain the gap if I didn't have to. I'd try to stay for the 6 months, it's easier if you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Do your best to use up that PTO and give yourself a break.
Is your current job paying for your CPA? Will there be negative impacts if you leave now?
I might PM you later since I think we have a lot in common when it comes to our jobs.
Post by dr.girlfriend on Oct 28, 2014 13:31:22 GMT -5
I don't know much about CPA exams, but I think you said it was at Thanksgiving? So after a month, one way or another, will that pressure be over for awhile? I am also thinking that you should stay until you vest, bump up your e-fund in the meantime, try out your new budget, and then you'll know how do-able it is and can leave with more peace of mind and a greater financial cushion. This is just coming from my experience, where my husband left a job he hated and then had MUCH more difficulty finding a new one than he thought. It was a huge financial pressure on use (we were engaged but not married yet, which meant we also had separate residences and had to COBRA his insurance and all that) and not something I would wish on anyone. If you feel like you guys can live on one income I think a trial period of that would be good, because financial stress can be just as bad for a relationship as job stress.