This is why DH and I went on our first casual date. We were both working at a hotel in Miami (not in the nice part, either) and I left the hotel and there were so many men cat-calling outside that I made it a block and turned around. I went back to the hotel and asked him if he'd walk to dinner with me because I felt uncomfortable.
As a thin blonde in my early 20's I did receive a lot of cat-calls and it was always uncomfortable. Never once did I think, "Ooh they are into me", but rather I felt more like a piece of meat and just one other girl they were cat-calling that day.
Thank you @songforyou, cookiemdough, and msmerymac for explaining more. I completely get the motivation part of it and I see why it would be unwanted, especially, if it's happening constantly. I grew up and now live in areas where it's commonly to speak on the streets and similar to SFY, Black people definitely acknowledge each other in passing, so a simple hello is common from both sexes. But there are definitely the Hellos that have underlying meanings.
I'm eager to talk to my guy friends about this because I don't think it's something they've ever thought about. They are definitely not the chase you down and cuss you out types but I'm sure they're guilty of telling women to smile and giving unsolicited compliments. Maybe having discussions in our small circles can help change some behaviors.
Really? Or do you just mean where you live now? Because that doesn't happen out here. I don't do it and I've never seen anyone else doing it and I spend most of my time on foot and public transit.
Thank you @songforyou, cookiemdough, and msmerymac for explaining more. I completely get the motivation part of it and I see why it would be unwanted, especially, if it's happening constantly. I grew up and now live in areas where it's commonly to speak on the streets and similar to SFY, Black people definitely acknowledge each other in passing, so a simple hello is common from both sexes. But there are definitely the Hellos that have underlying meanings.
I'm eager to talk to my guy friends about this because I don't think it's something they've ever thought about. They are definitely not the chase you down and cuss you out types but I'm sure they're guilty of telling women to smile and giving unsolicited compliments. Maybe having discussions in our small circles can help change some behaviors.
Really? Or do you just mean where you live now? Because that doesn't happen out here. I don't do it and I've never seen anyone else doing it and I spend most of my time on foot and public transit.
I mean where I live now. I know it's not common everywhere. It's usually just a quick nod, smile, or hello. Its also dependent on the general number of black people around you. So soul food festival, only speak to people next to you in lines who make eye contact. You and one other Black woman in Sephora, smile, nod, and verbal hello across the store if necessary
Really? Or do you just mean where you live now? Because that doesn't happen out here. I don't do it and I've never seen anyone else doing it and I spend most of my time on foot and public transit.
I mean where I live now. I know it's not common everywhere. It's usually just a quick nod, smile, or hello. Its also dependent on the general number of black people around you. So soul food festival, only speak to people next to you in lines who make eye contact. You and one other Black woman in Sephora, smile, nod, and verbal hello across the store if necessary
Gotcha. Cause I was thinking I'd never get through Oakland to where I'm going doing that.
So we all read how the editors of this video intentionally took out white males who were making harassing comments and only left in the black and Latino ones, yes?
So we all read how the editors of this video intentionally took out white males who were making harassing comments and only left in the black and Latino ones, yes?
Random question on this, but what is the best way to handle this?
Ignoring doesn't seem to work ( just gets you followed) and saying something to he person doesn't get them to stop either. I was just followed from lunch back to my office with a guy who would not let up. To make it worse he offered to pay me for "services". I ignored him but he persisted. It's humiliating and degrading, but I'm at a loss as to how to handle these situations.
I am sorry that happened to you. I think with most women (and I am guilty of the same thing), we always try to be polite in these situations and my best advice, particularly if you are in a public place where you don't have to be as worried about the situation escalating, is to just stop being polite and be direct and [loudly] tell the person they are making you uncomfortable and tell them to stop. Easier said then done, I know.
Post by laurenpetro on Oct 30, 2014 11:03:35 GMT -5
i basically dress like a dude so i can't remember this ever happening to me. the vast majority of my time in NY was spent in stage blacks so it's very easy to be unnoticable in those clothes.
i'm sorry for you guys. that's just fucking awful.