Med-free birth ladies, git in here

[jfh]

Give me some advice on coping with transition and pushing! As you guys know I had an amazing wonderful hypnobabies birth with Kai. Even so, when the shit hit the fan I was like GIVE ME A C-SECTION NOOOOOWWWWW. Do not pass go, do not collect an epidural, just cut me open. I didn't know at the time that I was in transition - the midwife was actually worried that I wasn't progressing (huh) To be fair I wasn't having cervical checks, but still.

I'm more anxious this time because 1) this baby is an elephant, whereas Kai was 5.5 lbs, 2) surely I can't be lucky enough to have another 7 hour labor, and 3) I actually have time to worry about it this time. I've been pretty good about practicing hypnobabies, so I think that will be helpful again during most of labor, but I'm worried about transition and pushing.

Give me what ya got!! Sorry this is so long.

[teamhayes]

When you think you can't go another second longer just remember you dud it once and it was a lot worse and it's going to be quicker and it has to be over soon

You so have this

[browndog]

Julie was 2 pounds heavier than James, but her birth was not any harder (it was faster). Just do your hypnobabies and when it gets really hard, just remember that means it's closer to being over.

[Na]

Hmmm okay to be fair I did not really prepare for my med free birth, i just went in anti epidural. I tried to focus on breathing, trying not to tense up, and honestly staying out of my own head so my body could do it's thing. I concentrated the whole time, no talking really, no technique really. My H also provided a lot of counter pressure during all the back labor but didn't bother me otherwise and that was apparently exactly what I needed lol. It Also bears mentioning that I arrived at the hospital at 8cm on the cusp of transition so my options were limited, this however made me so happy that I think it helped me push thru. Also, knowing the hellish pregnancy was going to be over was also a huge motivator. I think @mabillion and I have commiserated over that.

I have complete faith you can do it. I can also say I felt like a freaking warrior when they told me A was 8.6 lol.

Hope some of this makes sense and is helpful.

[monkeybabe]

So... I just kind of winged the whole thing, but I mooed, lol. Well, low, deep groans the length of the contraction/push seemed to help. Whenever my tone started to spike, my mom or Patsy would remind me to keep my tones low. Concentrating hard on my own voice seemed to take my thoughts partially away from the 9 pound baby making it's way out of my body.

[TrudyCampbell]

All I have to say is that I was in intense, horrible pain with Violet's med free labor and with Ruby I just wasn't. I was debating not even going into the hospital and then I was 7cm when I arrived. I was waiting and waiting for the horrible pain and it really never came. I mean, it still fucking sucked, but it wasn't the same level of horribleness. I did get the epidural but I gave birth 8 min later so it didn't have a chance to kick in.

I did have back labor with V and not with R, but hopefully just 2nd labors are easier. My labor with R was about double the length too, and it was so much easier.

[shevacc]

I didn't do hypnobabies, but I did do two med-free births with a doula.

With G, I labored from 2am to 8pm, but the intense part was from 1pm to 8pm. For most of labor I stayed inside my head and just counted slowly to myself. I knew that by the time I got to 8 it should start getting better and that the contraction would've passed by 12. Between me focusing and my doula/DH applying counter pressure on my back, I managed pretty well up to transition. I spent maybe an hour in the tub? But had to get out to get checked. When they checked I was at 8cm and the midwife broke my water, throwing me into transition. From that point on it sucked, but went quickly (30 minutes to pushing then 45 minute to baby). I lost focus and was totally miserable, insisting that I can't do it and that I didn't even care that I was about to meet my baby, just to make it stop. I don't even really remember details other than that it was rough. I did let my body do the pushing and that worked really well. But going into A's birth, I definitely worried about transition.

With A, I was exhausted going into labor. I had contractions sporadically from 1am to 9pm that kept me from sleeping or napping, then things got more regular/intense at 10pm when we went to the hospital. He wasn't born until 8am the next morning, so a considerably longer active labor than with G. I really doubted myself around midnight and kept wondering if I should just get the epi right then, but my doula convinced me to lay on my side in bed and try to rest/sleep in between contractions. Thankfully it worked surprisingly well and by the time I wasn't comfortable on my side any more I had the energy to get up. I consciously decided to vocalize and keep my eyes open. And instead of counting, I repeated "I (breath)...CAN (breath)...DO (breath)...THIS (breath)" to myself over and over again through each contraction. Both those things really helped. I also was able to labor in the tub with A, a lot longer than with G. My water broke on its own (while I was still in the tub) and this time I knew I was in transition, but I wasn't panicking. I kept my focus which helped tons. I think the scary part of G's birth was when I lost focus/control and then everything seemed so much worse. When I felt pushy, I had to get out and go back to my room (there was only one tub for the 8 birthing rooms). Pushing with A was much less natural. No position seemed to really help my body push him out and me trying to control pushing just didn't work. Finally he came out after 90+ minutes of pushing, which felt like an eternity after G was born in half that time. Turns out he was a bit over 9 lbs (G was a bit over 8) and had his hand up by his face. So his birth was longer, but the absence of panic was much nicer in many ways.

[creamsiclechica]

Mine with C went pretty fast, and that's the saving grace. I kept tellig myself I just have to make it through this minute, this contraction is only goi to lay a minute or so, and then I can berate again until the next one. I think during transition during a particularly intense few moments that I thought I was going to die, and I did say I couldn't do it, but I did. I think it's normal to ask for drugs/c section etc, in the midst of that because it's SO intense.

I was too far dilated to get an epi, and I just kept telling myself there was nothing I could do, so I had to just do it, does that make sense?

And I know you're really scared. I was PETRIFIED bcause they told me Carter was 10 plus pounds at 38 weeks. I know I've told you this before. But he wasn't. And he was out in 3 pushes.

My labor with A was 22 hours long. His was like 3. There's so much hope for a fast, easy, surprisingly smaller baby than ultrasounds predict.

You are going to ROCK this birth.

[jfh]

Well, I'm basically tearing up reading these. I love birth. I am a weirdo. Thank you so much ladies.

[bebeetmoi]

I was too focused on breathing to think about getting drugs and/ or a C. You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!

[laurack]

The second time was way less painful for me too. And pretty fast. Transition wasn't so bad even! And with Matilda I was a LUNATIC during transition. Like I remember this blind panic, wtf is happening to my body aaaah make it stop. With William I never even considered wanting drugs until the pushing just wasn't working and I was exhausted.

You can totally do it! Push that 12 pounder out like it's no big deal

Wheeeee I'm so excited!

[TrudyCampbell]

I don't think this really belongs in this post, BUT I will say that if you want the epidural, just fucking get it. I seriously was thinking about people on here judging me as I ordered the epi, lol. I reached a point where I just wanted to relax and not feel labor anymore. Of course I never got that relief because I gave birth instead.

You absolutely, positively can do this med free. You have before. YOU KNOW YOU CAN. I'm 99.9% sure that you will. But if you don't want to, thats okay too.

[jfh]

Oct 29, 2014 20:44:24 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

I don't think this really belongs in this post, BUT I will say that if you want the epidural, just fucking get it. I seriously was thinking about people on here judging me as I ordered the epi, lol. I reached a point where I just wanted to relax and not feel labor anymore. Of course I never got that relief because I gave birth instead.

You absolutely, positively can do this med free. You have before. YOU KNOW YOU CAN. I'm 99.9% sure that you will. But if you don't want to, thats okay too.

It's funny because the first time around, I wasn't all that committed - it was like, I'm giving hypnobabies a shot, but I have no qualms about getting the epi if I need it. Somehow the fact that I've done it once is making me MORE anxious! Like, I've now mentally put myself in the category of people who don't get them, so I can't get one this time. But I actually think my flexible thinking last time helped me get through it. If I tell myself that I CAN'T get the epi, I'll probably just give myself the big middle finger and get one just to spite me. Thanks for the reminder to stay flexible!

[tuck]

My midwives had me come up with a codeword for if I actually wanted drugs. I asked for drugs the first drug-free birth, then asked for a c-section the second time.

Charlie was 9lbs, 2oz and came out in only a couple pushes. I think transition is going to feel like crazypeopletime no matter what, and it's just a matter of having people there to support you through it.

[thedahliharpa]

I haven't read the other replies but I'm going to give you some tough-crunch advice, ok? I think you should come to terms with your fears of this baby being bigger and then let it go. I know you are in uncharted territory and that's scary but I think you are continuing to wind yourself up about it and it will only make your labor more difficult. IF this baby is too big, they will get him out safely. That's their job, let them worry about it.
You can do it. You will be both be great.

[jnoellee]

I was 11lbs, my mom went med free, her labor was 4 hours and she didn't tear. So, just think about that.

With Elias, I wasn't med-free, but I labored for two and a half days (induction) without any pain meds and then my epi only took to my right leg. What helped me was when I could finally push, and having H hold a heating pad on my lower back/tail bone. He had it there during the whole delivery, I had back labor because Elias was sideways, and it really helped. Before, it helped me to just lay and be really quiet, (in between cursing and yelling) I didn't want anyone in the room. In fact at one point I kicked H out. I needed to concentrate and breathe.

You will do great and all your instincts will kick in! Don't worry about the baby's size, you will do great!

[raynes]

This reminds me that I need to write up my birth story

I didn't make it all the way without the epi, but my labour was a lot longer than it *should* have been because she was sunny side up. Things deteriorated for me when they had me kneeling over the ball to try and get her to flip. Not being able to move as I needed didn't let me relax and it was so damn tiring. They'd said that if she'd been positioned better things would have gone faster/better and I've no doubt that I could have done it.

For coping I went into myself. I held H's hand, but that was about all I wanted from him. I breathed and vocalized em when things got more intense while H reminded me to stay loose.

[teamhayes]

I feel like if you say it's not an option for you than don't he a choice

Like just assume an epidural doesn't exist so you are not tempted

With my first Mh had to be a huge advocate for me bc thy pushed that thing for hours on end vrbo wouldn't give in bc it just wasn't am option

I dont do aspirin or cold pills etc why would I suddenly want an epidural ?

Pain is temporary (sounds like a nike add)

You have this it will be over before you know it and nothing is better than the power you feel after

You are super human

[teamhayes]

Oh I also counted in my head in series of four

I counted in a square the four ceiling panels above the tub over an over and over again

Pressure on my back from Mh was amazing

The extra pain in hat area made me not think a it my body ripping in two

K was sunny side up so it aw as 30 plus hours of back labor and he was stuck against my pelvis

When in the bed in played games with he clock ad GE monitors I knew by counting the contraction was almost over and I could get rough a minute knowing he relief was closer

Also the process of pushing even though I wasnt ready to push brought me so much relief , especially with miller ( but unless you want a home birth I don't recommend this tactic) until you are dither along

Everyone doubts heir ability but you can and will do this
Another trick I read about was putting your tounge on the roof of you mouth

[jfh]

Oct 29, 2014 22:29:14 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

I haven't read the other replies but I'm going to give you some tough-crunch advice, ok? I think you should come to terms with your fears of this baby being bigger and then let it go. I know you are in uncharted territory and that's scary but I think you are continuing to wind yourself up about it and it will only make your labor more difficult. IF this baby is too big, they will get him out safely. That's their job, let them worry about it.
You can do it. You will be both be great.

I know this is true. And I know my brain is my own responsibility, but it doesn't help that they (both the MFM and the midwives) bring it up at EVERY appointment! I've declined further growth scans - they wanted to keep doing them until delivery, including at the start of labor!! I can't imagine a worse way to begin the labor process. So I'm working on putting my head in the right place. Maybe I'll skip ahead a week and do my fear clearing track today.

I think it's an excellent point that it's their job, not mine, to decide if baby's "too" big. I really don't even need to think about it. DH knows that he is to be the intermediary on all things medical - that worked very well last time. So if things aren't going well, he'll know when and how to bring it up with me. But really, I don't worry about him being too big to birth, or about most of labor, since I feel like your uterus contracting probably feels about the same regardless of the size of the baby. It's just damn transition and pushing.

[hass2001]

Definitely relax during contractions. I know that sounds nuts but I seriously think that helped my cervix open up. Focus your pain elsewhere. When I was contracting I would pinch and scratch my thigh. My H rubbed and pressed so hard on my lower back that I had bruises! Breathe. I was lucky enough to not have my contractions one on top of the other. So I got a minute break in between. Good luck!!

[laurack]

I assume you've read Ina Mays book- I really feel like she made me feel calm about the babies' possible size. I mean, they would deliver giant babies in that hippy Farm place with no problems.

I never had a growth scan with either pregnancy but I was worried with William that he'd be huge just because I was huge. He was almost 8 and a half pounds which while not huge is big for me and he came out much easier and faster than his 8lb even sister.

and people struggle to birth 6lb babies and end up with c-sections.

it's hard not to worry, but DON'T WORRY

[Deleted]

You very well could have an easier and faster labor this time, I think a lot of us did.

I am pretty rational and practical, so for me I just had to keep reminding myself I did it once before so this was going to be easier. And that every contraction and push meant progress, and it would be over soon. Oh, I also kept reminding myself that people do this every day all over the world. Every day!! I could do it, too. I think I growled a lot, too? My midwife kept reminding me to do that.

I read Ina May, but it annoyed me. As lovely as the idea of nature walks and contractions-as-rushes is, I needed to be more clinical to get through it.

[jfh]

laurack I haven't read Ina May because I was turned off by a lot of the reviews. I don't have a philosophical problem with medicalized birth, I just don't want it for myself. And I don't want to go into birth scared of doctors, hospitals, the medical-industrial complex, whatever. Sometimes reading the super crunchy stuff actually pushes me in the other direction because I inadvertently find myself playing devil's advocate or feeling like it's too one-sided. I should probably read about how wonderful epis and C-sections are, because then I'll be like, hmmmmm, I'm not so sure about that......lol. My psychology is weird. Anyway, maybe I should read a bit of it, I know lots of people recommend it.

[jsillyfun]

It helped me to know I had the option of an Epi. Also helped to know that when it got really unbearable I was almost done. Transition was the worst thing ever but they checked me a d said I was 9.5 so I knew it was so close! I'm also just stubborn and wanted to prove I could do it.

[laurack]

Oct 30, 2014 10:42:13 GMT -5 jfh said:

laurack I haven't read Ina May because I was turned off by a lot of the reviews. I don't have a philosophical problem with medicalized birth, I just don't want it for myself. And I don't want to go into birth scared of doctors, hospitals, the medical-industrial complex, whatever. Sometimes reading the super crunchy stuff actually pushes me in the other direction because I inadvertently find myself playing devil's advocate or feeling like it's too one-sided. I should probably read about how wonderful epis and C-sections are, because then I'll be like, hmmmmm, I'm not so sure about that......lol. My psychology is weird. Anyway, maybe I should read a bit of it, I know lots of people recommend it.

hmm yes I did find it a bit OTT in the hospital bashing.

But it's full of birth stories! I love birth stories

[bebeetmoi]

Oct 30, 2014 10:42:13 GMT -5 jfh said:

laurack I haven't read Ina May because I was turned off by a lot of the reviews. I don't have a philosophical problem with medicalized birth, I just don't want it for myself. And I don't want to go into birth scared of doctors, hospitals, the medical-industrial complex, whatever. Sometimes reading the super crunchy stuff actually pushes me in the other direction because I inadvertently find myself playing devil's advocate or feeling like it's too one-sided. I should probably read about how wonderful epis and C-sections are, because then I'll be like, hmmmmm, I'm not so sure about that......lol. My psychology is weird. Anyway, maybe I should read a bit of it, I know lots of people recommend it.

Oh my gosh I think Ina is a goddess. I found her books to be super helpful- even though a lot of her lifestyle practices aren't for me. For instance, I was going to give birth in a hospital despite being med free. It was good for me to skim through and reread certain sections I bookmarked when I was laboring. Her books made me feel very empowered and calm.

[thedahliharpa]

Oct 30, 2014 8:05:29 GMT -5 jfh said:

Oct 29, 2014 22:29:14 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

I haven't read the other replies but I'm going to give you some tough-crunch advice, ok? I think you should come to terms with your fears of this baby being bigger and then let it go. I know you are in uncharted territory and that's scary but I think you are continuing to wind yourself up about it and it will only make your labor more difficult. IF this baby is too big, they will get him out safely. That's their job, let them worry about it.
You can do it. You will be both be great.

I know this is true. And I know my brain is my own responsibility, but it doesn't help that they (both the MFM and the midwives) bring it up at EVERY appointment! I've declined further growth scans - they wanted to keep doing them until delivery, including at the start of labor!! I can't imagine a worse way to begin the labor process. So I'm working on putting my head in the right place. Maybe I'll skip ahead a week and do my fear clearing track today.

I think it's an excellent point that it's their job, not mine, to decide if baby's "too" big. I really don't even need to think about it. DH knows that he is to be the intermediary on all things medical - that worked very well last time. So if things aren't going well, he'll know when and how to bring it up with me. But really, I don't worry about him being too big to birth, or about most of labor, since I feel like your uterus contracting probably feels about the same regardless of the size of the baby. It's just damn transition and pushing.

Hmmm I don't like that they keep bringing it up. I understand how hearing that can make you feel, hence my first birth w/ out a trial of labor...I would speak candidly and ask them to limit discussions of size unless absolutely necessary.
I'm sure your DH will be awesome too. Maybe your transition will be like mine. I was laughing and asking when it was coming because I didn't feel crazy enough and they looked at me like I was a nut.

Eta: good for you for refusing more growth scans

[Na]

Aw jfh I am so sorry they are worrying you so. I would be a wreck if that were brought up at every appointment. Whatever you decide is the right decision, try not to put undue pressure on yourself. Hugs, you are almost there!