Poll: Is this reasonable or insulting?

[tine]

*DD*

I will probably DD this info at some point since it's so specific!

[Deleted]

I think they should have asked him if he'd prefer a different name (William, Bill, something else? Why just decide Will?) but I agree BJ is not professional, especially for working with clients. I mean most of us associate BJ with blow job. Nobody wants their clients thinking about blow jobs in a professional situation (unless he works in a brothel? lol).

I think if I were an adult I'd ditch that nickname for that reason anyway. Maybe keep it in casual social settings.

[h]

I think the employer is the only thing here that is unprofessional if they cannot hear the name BJ without giggling and demanding it be changed.

I have a good friend from college named BJ. He is 15 years into a very successful career as an investment banker, and to my knowledge his name has not caused him any problems professionally.

So ridiculous.

[LoveTrains]

BJ is a common name. I was just going to ask about Dick. Dick has fallen out of favor but I have an Uncle Dick and I have always said his name without laughing. That is his name.

[Deleted]

This is ridiculous. I've worked with someone who's name is BJ, it didn't even give me pause. Is anyone who is named Richard not allowed to go by Dick? A very successful business man where I grew up was named Harold Butt, but went by Harry.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2014 9:49:55 GMT -5 @ruralrabbit1 said:

This is ridiculous. I've worked with someone who's name is BJ, it didn't even give me pause. Is anyone who is named Richard not allowed to go by Dick? A very successful business man where I grew up was named Harold Butt, but went by Harry.

LOL Harry Butt.

I am not mature when it comes to this stuff I think if you have an unprofessional nickname, you should go by something else professionally. I guess maybe I shouldn't go as far as to say that an employer should FORCE you to, but I feel like people should choose to do that on their own. IDK.

[ohgillian]

Um, pretty sure he needs to have a chat with HR about this pronto.

[imojoebunny]

That's crazy. Does he work in an elementary school? I had a teacher once in elementary school who would only call me by my given name (not the name I go by at all) then wondered why I never answered when she called on me.

[countthestars]

Oct 30, 2014 9:28:53 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

I think they should have asked him if he'd prefer a different name (William, Bill, something else? Why just decide Will?) but I agree BJ is not professional, especially for working with clients. I mean most of us associate BJ with blow job. Nobody wants their clients thinking about blow jobs in a professional situation (unless he works in a brothel? lol).

I think if I were an adult I'd ditch that nickname for that reason anyway. Maybe keep it in casual social settings.

What? No.

[redwino]

Depending on the job, I could see an employer saying any nickname was unprofessional. I don't think an employer should be able to say they're goin to shorten your given name but I don't have a problem with them saying we won't use a nickname.

[ohgillian]

[Deleted. I don't think I conveyed my point very well and am afraid it came across wrong. But this is ridiculous.]

[tine]

Unfortunately, this isn't the only iffy thing about this job. He was called into his boss's office because he was 5 minutes late and told to call next time. I mean it was his second day and being late is bad but 5 minutes, really? And also the owner has all company email sent and received in a mailbox on his computer that is always open. My friend was told he needs to reply to client email immediately or the boss will contact him to ask why he hasn't responded.

[delawarejen]

That's ridiculous. You don't just get to decide what someone's nickname is, and I have to wonder what the HR people thought about this decision. And it's not like it's an uncommon one either - I know a woman who goes by BJ. There was that guy BJ on M*A*S*H too.

[ohgillian]

Oct 30, 2014 10:18:06 GMT -5 tine said:

Unfortunately, this isn't the only iffy thing about this job. He was called into his boss's office because he was 5 minutes late and told to call next time. I mean it was his second day and being late is bad but 5 minutes, really? And also the owner has all company email sent and received in a mailbox on his computer that is always open. My friend was told he needs to reply to client email immediately or the boss will contact him to ask why he hasn't responded.

Well. Time to send out more resumes. 

[tine]

Oct 30, 2014 10:18:45 GMT -5 ohgillian said:

Oct 30, 2014 10:18:06 GMT -5 tine said:

Unfortunately, this isn't the only iffy thing about this job. He was called into his boss's office because he was 5 minutes late and told to call next time. I mean it was his second day and being late is bad but 5 minutes, really? And also the owner has all company email sent and received in a mailbox on his computer that is always open. My friend was told he needs to reply to client email immediately or the boss will contact him to ask why he hasn't responded.

Well. Time to send out more resumes. 

yes! That's exactly what he's doing. Unfortunately, he left a decent job for this one...

[Deleted]

I think it is ridiculous and unprofessional on the employers part.

I went to school with a guy named BJ (his first and middle initials) by the second week of High School he was going by his given first name because the blow jobs jokes got overwhelming. It probably didn't help that his Dad's name was Dick (for real).

[heyrebekah]

Oct 30, 2014 10:04:15 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Oct 30, 2014 9:49:55 GMT -5 @ruralrabbit1 said:

This is ridiculous. I've worked with someone who's name is BJ, it didn't even give me pause. Is anyone who is named Richard not allowed to go by Dick? A very successful business man where I grew up was named Harold Butt, but went by Harry.

LOL Harry Butt.

I am not mature when it comes to this stuff I think if you have an unprofessional nickname, you should go by something else professionally. I guess maybe I shouldn't go as far as to say that an employer should FORCE you to, but I feel like people should choose to do that on their own. IDK.

This is where I'm at. My mind doesn't even go to blow jobs, but BJ just sounds kind of juvenile to me, as would Billy, Timmy, Big Joe, or any number of nicknames people might use with family and friends. Of course there are plenty of people who can make those names work, but it just seems smart to choose a more professional option in certain settings. This guy's work definitely shouldn't have made that decision for him (or assigned him a new nickname!) but I think it would be reasonable to suggest in a different way than they did.

And I totally give the internal side eye to grown men who choose to go by Dick.

[h]

I am appalled there are people on this board who think this is reasonable. Are you 12 year old boys? High? Both?

[countthestars]

Oct 30, 2014 10:24:41 GMT -5 heyrebekah said:

Oct 30, 2014 10:04:15 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

LOL Harry Butt.

I am not mature when it comes to this stuff I think if you have an unprofessional nickname, you should go by something else professionally. I guess maybe I shouldn't go as far as to say that an employer should FORCE you to, but I feel like people should choose to do that on their own. IDK.

This is where I'm at. My mind doesn't even go to blow jobs, but BJ just sounds kind of juvenile to me, as would Billy, Timmy, Big Joe, or any number of nicknames people might use with family and friends. Of course there are plenty of people who can make those names work, but it just seems smart to choose a more professional option in certain settings. This guy's work definitely shouldn't have made that decision for him (or assigned him a new nickname!) but I think it would be reasonable to suggest in a different way than they did.

And I totally give the internal side eye to grown men who choose to go by Dick.

Am I in the Twilight Zone right now? Someone who is called Dick (his NAME) his whole life should not have to change what they are called because someone has deemed it unprofessional. My maiden name is Johnson - surely I should have asked people to just call me Jones. WTF?

[ska]

Richard Clark. Rick Cheney. Much better.

[heyrebekah]

Oct 30, 2014 10:30:18 GMT -5 countthestars said:

Oct 30, 2014 10:24:41 GMT -5 heyrebekah said:

This is where I'm at. My mind doesn't even go to blow jobs, but BJ just sounds kind of juvenile to me, as would Billy, Timmy, Big Joe, or any number of nicknames people might use with family and friends. Of course there are plenty of people who can make those names work, but it just seems smart to choose a more professional option in certain settings. This guy's work definitely shouldn't have made that decision for him (or assigned him a new nickname!) but I think it would be reasonable to suggest in a different way than they did.

And I totally give the internal side eye to grown men who choose to go by Dick.

Am I in the Twilight Zone right now? Someone who is called Dick (his NAME) his whole life should not have to change what they are called because someone has deemed it unprofessional. My maiden name is Johnson - surely I should have asked people to just call me Jones. WTF?

I don't think Dick is unprofessional. Just admitting that whether it's an adult man or a tiny baby whose parents chose the NN, I just think to myself "Really, so that's what you went with?"

[h]

Oct 30, 2014 10:24:41 GMT -5 heyrebekah said:

Oct 30, 2014 10:04:15 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

LOL Harry Butt.

I am not mature when it comes to this stuff I think if you have an unprofessional nickname, you should go by something else professionally. I guess maybe I shouldn't go as far as to say that an employer should FORCE you to, but I feel like people should choose to do that on their own. IDK.

This is where I'm at. My mind doesn't even go to blow jobs, but BJ just sounds kind of juvenile to me, as would Billy, Timmy, Big Joe, or any number of nicknames people might use with family and friends. Of course there are plenty of people who can make those names work, but it just seems smart to choose a more professional option in certain settings. This guy's work definitely shouldn't have made that decision for him (or assigned him a new nickname!) but I think it would be reasonable to suggest in a different way than they did.

And I totally give the internal side eye to grown men who choose to go by Dick.

Wait, Billy and Timmy are also a problem? So what about Kylee or Ellie? What about DeShawn or Déjà? While I know you aren't going there, I fear that taking a hard line view of what does and does not qualify as a professional name is exactly the kind of thinking that leads people to view names that seem "girly" or "ethnic" as unprofessional. You don't have to be named Robert or Thomas to make a good executive.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2014 10:30:15 GMT -5 h said:

I am appalled there are people on this board who think this is reasonable. Are you 12 year old boys? High? Both?

Probably both. Lol.

I think I should revise my initial reaction that this was ok, it's probably really not ok for an employer to ask this (I have no idea what HR would say, I'm guessing they'd side with the employee). But I personally think people should use a professional sounding name professionally. Would I refuse to hire someone because of their name? Of course not. Do I think it's somewhat poor judgement on the part of the employee to present themselves with an unprofessional nickname? Yes.

A last name is different because there is no alternative. A nickname isn't your given name. You have a choice.

(confession: I need a more stimulating job. I keep finding myself in these conversations arguing vehmently about something I don't honestly care that much about. lol.)

[countthestars]

Oct 30, 2014 10:36:06 GMT -5 heyrebekah said:

Oct 30, 2014 10:30:18 GMT -5 countthestars said:

Am I in the Twilight Zone right now? Someone who is called Dick (his NAME) his whole life should not have to change what they are called because someone has deemed it unprofessional. My maiden name is Johnson - surely I should have asked people to just call me Jones. WTF?

I don't think Dick is unprofessional. Just admitting that whether it's an adult man or a tiny baby whose parents chose the NN, I just think to myself "Really, so that's what you went with?"

But do you really think that 50-90 years ago when most Dicks were born it was slang for penis? I highly doubt parents in the 1940s were like "hey, let's give our kid a peen NN"

[countthestars]

Oct 30, 2014 10:38:25 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Oct 30, 2014 10:30:15 GMT -5 h said:

I am appalled there are people on this board who think this is reasonable. Are you 12 year old boys? High? Both?

Probably both. Lol.

I think I should revise my initial reaction that this was ok, it's probably really not ok for an employer to ask this (I have no idea what HR would say, I'm guessing they'd side with the employee). But I personally think people should use a professional sounding name professionally. Would I refuse to hire someone because of their name? Of course not. Do I think it's somewhat poor judgement on the part of the employee to present themselves with an unprofessional nickname? Yes.

A last name is different because there is no alternative. A nickname isn't your given name. You have a choice.

(confession: I need a more stimulating job. I keep finding myself in these conversations arguing vehmently about something I don't honestly care that much about. lol.)

My given name is Katie. Should I go by Kate professionally? Is Katie different from Billy or Timmy?

[v]

Adult professionals should be able to call BJ "BJ" without issue.

[Mushe]

What? That is ridiculous. I have a (very successful) law school classmate who goes by BJ, and know a doctor Harry Butts, and cannot fathom telling them I refuse to call them by their chosen nickname. The employer needs to grow up.

[heyrebekah]

Oct 30, 2014 10:37:49 GMT -5 h said:

Oct 30, 2014 10:24:41 GMT -5 heyrebekah said:

This is where I'm at. My mind doesn't even go to blow jobs, but BJ just sounds kind of juvenile to me, as would Billy, Timmy, Big Joe, or any number of nicknames people might use with family and friends. Of course there are plenty of people who can make those names work, but it just seems smart to choose a more professional option in certain settings. This guy's work definitely shouldn't have made that decision for him (or assigned him a new nickname!) but I think it would be reasonable to suggest in a different way than they did.

And I totally give the internal side eye to grown men who choose to go by Dick.

Wait, Billy and Timmy are also a problem? So what about Kylee or Ellie? What about DeShawn or Déjà? While I know you aren't going there, I fear that taking a hard line view of what does and does not qualify as a professional name is exactly the kind of thinking that leads people to view names that seem "girly" or "ethnic" as unprofessional. You don't have to be named Robert or Thomas to make a good executive.

I'm not trying to take a hard line on anything.

[L]

My FIL's first name is Billy. Not William, not Bill - Billy. And that's the name he uses professionally. BECAUSE IT'S HIS NAME.

The "you must use a professional name" stance is such a slippery slope. Does this company also make Jorge go by George when communicating with clients?

[msmerymac]

I'll be honest - if someone told me they went by BJ (and I've known 2, one with a rather unfortunate last name to match - pronounced like service), I would think of it like a name - like someone who goes by AJ, CJ, JC, etc. I knew a woman who went by MK once.

In a conversation where it made sense for BJ to stand for blow job, I would automatically "get it." But for a name, I would just wonder what the BJ was short for. It wouldn't occur to me to laugh, I guess.