Years ago, I met a 20 year old kid who went by Dick. I realize it is a name, and I think nothing of it when I meet an old person named Dick, but it was so anachronistic that I was shocked he didn't decide to change it up.
I think the company is being ridiculous here.
That said, I also think that it's an unfortunate reality of life that people react differently to names like Dick and BJ as well as names like Timmy, Billy, etc. Someone with a more "younger" sounding name may need to do more to be taken seriously than if their names were Rich, Tim, or Bill, in the same way that someone who looks very young will need to do more to be taken seriously. People bring all sorts of prejudices and preconceived notions to the table. That doesn't make it right, but I can't say that I wouldn't recommend that someone elect to go by a more "serious" name.
I think I should revise my initial reaction that this was ok, it's probably really not ok for an employer to ask this (I have no idea what HR would say, I'm guessing they'd side with the employee). But I personally think people should use a professional sounding name professionally. Would I refuse to hire someone because of their name? Of course not. Do I think it's somewhat poor judgement on the part of the employee to present themselves with an unprofessional nickname? Yes.
A last name is different because there is no alternative. A nickname isn't your given name. You have a choice.
(confession: I need a more stimulating job. I keep finding myself in these conversations arguing vehmently about something I don't honestly care that much about. lol.)
My given name is Katie. Should I go by Kate professionally? Is Katie different from Billy or Timmy?
If your given name is Katie, that's your name. It's also very common so nobody is going to think twice about it. BJ is a nickname.
I am less bothered by "e" sounding names than names that are associated with something sexual/inappropriate/whatever you want to call it. I guess Kate or Katherine are more professional than Katie or Kat, but I don't think it's as much of an issue for women TBH. I have a friend whose H is named Ronald, we all call him Ronnie, but he goes by Ron profesionally. Ronnie sounds less mature.
My bottom line here is - while I think people in theory should be able to call themselves whatever they want, I think it shows better judgement to choose a more professional version of your given name in professional situations. People named Harry Butt can be successful, but people are going to snicker at their name and why would you choose to have that be the first thing people notice and what they remember about you? Maybe it just seems unnecessary to me?
Post by WinterWine on Oct 30, 2014 10:54:48 GMT -5
That is insane. Sounds like unfortunately he got in at a crazy company. Hopefully he can find something different soon bc that's definitely not the. Kids be of place I'd want to be working!
I don't know why ethnic names are even a part of this discussion. Ethnic doesn't mean unprofessional. It's not a matter of "if you don't have a common name, you should pick something else!". I would be appalled if someone asked Jorge to be spelled as George. There is nothing remotely unprofessional about Jorge. Maybe if he went by Georgie I'd wonder why he didn't want to sound like an adult
This is where I'm at. My mind doesn't even go to blow jobs, but BJ just sounds kind of juvenile to me, as would Billy, Timmy, Big Joe, or any number of nicknames people might use with family and friends. Of course there are plenty of people who can make those names work, but it just seems smart to choose a more professional option in certain settings. This guy's work definitely shouldn't have made that decision for him (or assigned him a new nickname!) but I think it would be reasonable to suggest in a different way than they did.
And I totally give the internal side eye to grown men who choose to go by Dick.
So all initials are unprofessional? That's completely absurd.
Insulting. As long as the name itself isn't actually offensive, they should call him what he asks to be called. If he was insisting that he be called by his college nickname of "Blowjob," because all his friends still call him that ... then yeah, that's unprofessional.
I don't mind calling people what they ask to be called. If they want to go by something "juvenile" or "casual" or "unprofessional," that's their call ... Red, Buddy, whatever. I might raise an eyebrow at someone asking to be called Little Dave or Susie Q, but it's not like it's offensive.
I never go by my legal name unless I'm filling out a form. It's caused a lot of confusion and annoyance.
MH started going by a more "mature" nickname in college out of personal preference ... pretend his legal name is William, everyone growing up called him Willy, and now he introduces himself as Will, although some of our friends and family (and I) still call him Willy.
That's crazy. Does he work in an elementary school? I had a teacher once in elementary school who would only call me by my given name (not the name I go by at all) then wondered why I never answered when she called on me.
The yearbook adviser at my high school insisted on using everybody's given names throughout the yearbook. A friend's name is Margaret Lynn and goes by Lynn, has all of her life. But she's Margaret all throughout the yearbook.
Insulting. As long as the name itself isn't actually offensive, they should call him what he asks to be called. If he was insisting that he be called by his college nickname of "Blowjob," because all his friends still call him that ... then yeah, that's unprofessional.
I don't mind calling people what they ask to be called. If they want to go by something "juvenile" or "casual" or "unprofessional," that's their call ... Red, Buddy, whatever. I might raise an eyebrow at someone asking to be called Little Dave or Susie Q, but it's not like it's offensive.
I never go by my legal name unless I'm filling out a form. It's caused a lot of confusion and annoyance.
MH started going by a more "mature" nickname in college out of personal preference ... pretend his legal name is William, everyone growing up called him Willy, and now he introduces himself as Will, although some of our friends and family (and I) still call him Willy.
It has never been a problem for Buddy Cianci! Two time mayor - twice leaving office because of felonies - running for a third time!
and nope, I never stop talking it. I can't wait for the election on Tuesday.
Post by cinnamoncox on Oct 30, 2014 12:02:29 GMT -5
I think it's weird they just picked Will without asking. I also can see both sides, honestly. I don't think it's insulting or unreasonable. Of course BJ is a nickname, it's not like they've asked him to change his name. At the same time, if everyone is professional, no one should be giggling about BJ either. You likely can't answer this, but maybe it's just because he is to be interacting with clients and they want a more professional sounding name, unrelated to blow job connotation. Like, if it were DJ or RJ, etc, they'd want a actual name, not just the BJ part.
If it bothers him, maybe speak to hr and just ask why they won't call him what he prefers to be called and go from there.
I don't think it's unreasonable of the boss to expect client emails to be answered.
Post by shopgirl07 on Oct 30, 2014 12:06:52 GMT -5
My BFF's husband's given name is just two initials. I don't want to say the exact initials but it's something like JB. He has no middle name. Good thing he doesn't work for this employer!
I'm also annoyed that they just picked Will. Wouldn't a much more obvious choice have been BILL since it is BJ not WJ?
This was a huge part of our conversation. It would have been different (although still bad!) if they suggested he think about using a different name or asked what he would like to be called, but the fact that they said "we are calling you Will from now on" was so ridiculous and so unprofessional on their part.
I am appalled there are people on this board who think this is reasonable. Are you 12 year old boys? High? Both?
Worse. At least one is in HR.
Lol. That would be me. Thankfully, a good HR person is going to leave personal opinions out of things and follow what's legal and/or company policy. As I mentioned, after giving it some thought I don't think the employer can or should impose this on BJ.
But that doesn't mean I personally disagree with the preference for him to use a more professional name when dealing with clients. Most companies have professionalism standards for client facing positions (dress code, language used, behavior, etc.) because they want their organization to come across as polished and professional. I just disagree that BJ is a professional name. At best it is informal and somewhat juvinile, at worst it's associated with a sexual act.
Maybe I'm biased by the fact that I can't think of a single adult that I know personally or professionally who goes by their initials. I knew some as a kid, but they all started using an actual name when they got older.
Lol. That would be me. Thankfully, a good HR person is going to leave personal opinions out of things and follow what's legal and/or company policy. As I mentioned, after giving it some thought I don't think the employer can or should impose this on BJ.
But that doesn't mean I personally disagree with the preference for him to use a more professional name when dealing with clients. Most companies have professionalism standards for client facing positions (dress code, language used, behavior, etc.) because they want their organization to come across as polished and professional. I just disagree that BJ is a professional name. At best it is informal and somewhat juvinile, at worst it's associated with a sexual act.
Maybe I'm biased by the fact that I can't think of a single adult that I know personally or professionally who goes by their initials. I knew some as a kid, but they all started using an actual name when they got older.
I married one.
My state had a governor whose name was George, but everyone called him Bud. "Vote for Bud." He was Governor for a long time too.
All initial nicknames are juvenile? Huh? I know several adults who go by initials, many of whom are very successful. JP Morgan, CS Lewis, JC Penny, JD Salinger, WEB DuBois, famed fictional presidential press secretary CJ Cregg--infants, all of them! Let's call them all Will so they can make something of themselves!
All initial nicknames are juvenile? Huh? I know several adults who go by initials, many of whom are very successful. JP Morgan, CS Lewis, JC Penny, JD Salinger, WEB DuBois, famed fictional presidential press secretary CJ Cregg--infants, all of them! Let's call them all Will so they can make something of themselves!
Women can play this game too -- let's not forget self-made billionaire JK Rowling...
Lol. Nobody said (at least I didn't) that people with stupid names or nicknames or Dick names can't be successful. There are probably a million anecdotal examples of people who are. It has nothing to do with being successful. I find it almost funny that people are really arguing that BJ is just as professional of a name as William.
If someone feels they are putting their best face forward by being called Harry Butt, have at it. My opinion isn't right or wrong, it's just an opinion.
Or - what if in 5 years Katie becomes slang for vagina? Would I have to change my name then?
LOL I almost spit my water out ... from now on, it shall be known as Katie in my house.
Ha! I wonder if we could start a thing where Will is new slang for penis just so this ridiculous company will be all, "crap, now what should we call him?"
LOL I almost spit my water out ... from now on, it shall be known as Katie in my house.
Ha! I wonder if we could start a thing where Will is new slang for penis just so this ridiculous company will be all, "crap, now what should we call him?"