Party hosting- how do you handle "what can I bring?"

[coribelle26]

I want to punch my friends a little bit. Our 6th annual Friendsgiving is next weekend, so we're not exactly new at this. Every single person has asked, "What can I bring?" And my response is always, "Anything you want! Just let me know so I don't plan to make it too!" THEY JUST KEEP ASKING. We do this every year, the host makes a turkey, people volunteer to bring sides, and the hosts fill in whatever gaps. I don't know why this year is all of a sudden complicated.

And I know these fuckers, if I finally say, "OKAY FOR CHRIST'S SAKE BRING SOME STUFFING," then they're going to show up with stuffing and be like, "Well I'm not a stuffing EXPERT so I don't know how it turned out..." And then I stab them with a turkey fork.

I think it's dickish to tell people exactly what to bring to a potluck. Am I alone in this? Would you rather be told outright? This is all going down in a Facebook event so it's not like it's hard for people to see what's already being covered.

I may tell them REALLY REALLY complicated stuff so they don't do this again next year.

[KB]

If someone told me "bring whatever you want" they'd get booze. If you need them all to bring sides, why don't you just assign everyone a side?

[Deleted]

I would just make a list of the usual sides and let people sign up. I would think though at this point you guys should know what each person's signature dish is.

[10nille]

Can you give them a choice such as would you rather do a vegetable dish or a carb side? Are desserts and appetizers covered?

[calle28]

How about creating a list of all the sides and emailing it out? That seems like it'd be the easiest.

I like being told what to bring. If I'm not told, I'd probably bring wine and dessert.

[coribelle26]

This is the sixth year. Sides have never been assigned, people volunteer for what they like to/know how to make.

Except this year for who knows why.

I don't even really give a shit whether they bring sides or not, I just want them to stop asking!

[zoomzoom]

I wouldn't mind being given some direction in what the host would like me to bring. I think 'bring anything' is too vague. What if you end up with 7 sides of sweet potato casserole? Stuffing is pretty specific but other than that, I'd say 'bring a green vegetable' or 'bring a salad' so they can still choose what they want to bring but have a general direction so sides aren't duplicated.

[ECB]

I'd give them more direction. "I need sides" or "Dessert".

But I feel you.

[sandyapples]

Why can't you just tell them what to bring? A vegetable side, a salad, potatoes. Let them decide exactly what to cook and how to prepare it. I think you are being a little difficult.

[ralphlauren]

I tell then specifics like an appetizer or dessert.

We had a party at my house that I had catered and I did not want people to bring food and they insisted to bring something so I had them bring a bottle of wine. I actually preferred that because I took care of the dinner and we got to enjoy lots of wine later.

[coribelle26]

Oct 30, 2014 11:48:55 GMT -5 calle28 said:

How about creating a list of all the sides and emailing it out? That seems like it'd be the easiest.

I like being told what to bring. If I'm not told, I'd probably bring wine and dessert.

This was similar to my last post on the event. I was basically like, "Here's what we've had before! If you want to make one of these let me know!" It helped a little but I've got a couple of people who still persist in asking.

[CloudBee]

You need to be specific. I hate being told "whatever you want". I like to be told. You're the one who knows what everyone else is bringing, and what you might make.

[cbwm1]

I've never hosted, but the host always assigns things based on cooking strengths.

I make awesome Brussels sprouts and DH makes awesome mashed potatoes - that's what we're assigned every year.

Can you do something like that?

[CloudBee]

Oct 30, 2014 11:52:14 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

Oct 30, 2014 11:48:55 GMT -5 calle28 said:

How about creating a list of all the sides and emailing it out? That seems like it'd be the easiest.

I like being told what to bring. If I'm not told, I'd probably bring wine and dessert.

This was similar to my last post on the event. I was basically like, "Here's what we've had before! If you want to make one of these let me know!" It helped a little but I've got a couple of people who still persist in asking.

You know them. You probably remember what they've made in the past. Suggest that.

This is weird. You're causing more stress than you need to. Just answer their questions.

[trafficgirl]

It's definitely annoying, I feel you. I think though you're probably going to have to give some options. Something along the lines of what peachy said.

[Deleted]

We do a huge pot Thanksgiving at work each year and one department puts together a list of all items needed, down to the forks and plates. The list is circulated and each person signs up for what they feel comfortable as long as no one else has taken the item. Flexibility and direction. Every year all the food groups are covered and we have entirely too much food.

[coribelle26]

Duplication shouldn't be an issue because what we've always done is keep a running list on the Facebook page of what each person is bringing. We've never had two of the same thing.

Somebody asked about specialties, and I would have thought that would work except that one of our friends a few weeks ago was like, "Do I HAVE to make the sweet potatoes again?" And I'm like, no, dummy, you don't have to do anything. Why do you make sweet potatoes every year if you hate it?? GAH.

[Deleted]

Why are you being weird? Nobody wants to go to a thanksgiving with ten bowls of the same side. Assign items to bring. It doesn't have to be specific. Just " you bring a pie, you bring a casserole, you bring a salad"

[BaliHai]

It's annoying, but this is not a hill I'd die on. I'd just say FINE FFS, Mike bring mashed potatoes, Susan bring sweet potato casserole, David bring green beans, Amy bring stuffing, OKAY? ARE YOU HAPPY? lol.

[kwx2]

I would just tell them what to bring. I hate when people tell me to bring whatever I want. I would rather be told. Less stressful for everyone.

[ralphlauren]

As a guest I find it so annoying when the host says bring anything.

Tell me what to bring to your house dammit

[coribelle26]

DUPLICATION OF ITEMS IS NOT A PROBLEM BECAUSE THEY VOLUNTEER A DISH AND POST IT ON THE FACEBOOK PAGE.

Omg you guys, lol. I really think what's bugging me is that we had what I thought was a successful system for 5 years and now all of a sudden it's broken down.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2014 11:49:08 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

This is the sixth year. Sides have never been assigned, people volunteer for what they like to/know how to make.

Except this year for who knows why.

I don't even really give a shit whether they bring sides or not, I just want them to stop asking!

Wow. Makes me sorry I'm not going.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2014 12:00:24 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

DUPLICATION OF ITEMS IS NOT A PROBLEM BECAUSE THEY VOLUNTEER A DISH AND POST IT ON THE FACEBOOK PAGE.

Omg you guys, lol. I really think what's bugging me is that we had what I thought was a successful system for 5 years and now all of a sudden it's broken down.

Eh that's part of hosting, I feel. Assign dishes.

Sorry bub.

[pantsparty]

I usually tell people to either bring dessert or booze. Particularly because I am adhering to an oven schedule and if someone brings something that needs to be cooked or heated up, it can throw off everything! LOL.

Plus, I've perfected all my dishes and NO WAY can anyone make a better green bean casserole than me

[coribelle26]

Oct 30, 2014 12:03:59 GMT -5 peachy said:

Maybe they all hate the system and they can't take it anymore, lol

LOL! I hadn't considered this.

Alright, well I'm obviously in the minority of people who wouldn't want to be told exactly what to bring so I will start assigning stuff. I just feel like it's so bossy!

[05heel]

I'm a lazy asshole, so this whole thing sounds like work. I have to check a FB page to figure out what dish to bring? And the host doesn't give me a straight answer when I ask? I'd probably be a no show. But this is also why no one invites me to anything anyway.

[coribelle26]

Oct 30, 2014 12:06:33 GMT -5 05heel said:

I'm a lazy asshole, so this whole thing sounds like work. I have to check a FB page to figure out what dish to bring? And the host doesn't give me a straight answer when I ask? I'd probably be a no show. But this is also why no one invites me to anything anyway.

To be fair, they're asking me via post on the Facebook page wherein all the information they need can be found.

But I'm not going to win this one. My party hosting posts always end badly.

[05heel]

Oct 30, 2014 12:08:42 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

Oct 30, 2014 12:06:33 GMT -5 05heel said:

I'm a lazy asshole, so this whole thing sounds like work. I have to check a FB page to figure out what dish to bring? And the host doesn't give me a straight answer when I ask? I'd probably be a no show. But this is also why no one invites me to anything anyway.

To be fair, they're asking me via post on the Facebook page wherein all the information they need can be found.

But I'm not going to win this one. My party hosting posts always end badly.

Well that's just dumb.  Uninvite all of them. 

[stellas]

I just tell them all beer or wine.