My weight. My infertility My dad asked me if A's shoulders are fuzzy because of the medicine I took. My parenting *because I had infertility treatments and therefore should be "perfect". I need to seek counseling lol. Formula feeding. I am okay with the reasons why I chose formula feeding but I always feel like I need to explain.
I think I may have been the only lady on here that would have preferred a boy over a girl. I love my daughter, and I know having her has made me a gentler person (maybe a boy would have done the same, I don't know) and was absolutely the right sex for me to have, but I just wanted a boy so bad. I think mostly because I was a tomboy growing up, and most of my closer friends were guys.
I wanted a boy really bad. I was disappointed that I didn't have one. Some times I really regret my tubal.
Yeah, I hear you. I'm comfortable with our decision to be one and done, but don't look forward to DH's vasectomy. It will feel more permanent then.
Recently (more reading my local mom group on Facebook not here) I've been feeling insecure about the fact I don't plan to move Matilda to a "better" preschool. Her daycare is a preschool but I know there are better ones. Some moms on my local group who use the same daycare have been talking about where to move the kids when they turn 3
I'm not moving her. It's too complicated because we need full time hours and I want them both in the same location for convenience. And this place is the cheapest center around. We really can't afford more
She's doing fine there! But I feel a bit insecure that I'm not going to send her to the fancier preschools and just suck up the increased cost and inconvenience like the other moms
all my kids will probably "just" go to twice a week gymnastics preschool. They do like 3 worksheets a day and play the rest of the time. They'll be fine! We do our own enrichment at home and I have no concerns that they aren't learning Mandarin by the time they are 4.
I'm sensitive about how people perceive me in person. I usually end up standing in the corner in a big group of people or finding one person to latch onto and talking her ear off.
We should really meet up and go to a party and not talk to anyone else.
I'm sensitive about homeschooling. I KNOW it's the best choice for our family and blah blah blah, but I'm sensitive that H can't read well yet.
I'm sensitive about S's speech problems, too. I know people can't understand a dammed thing she says, and we're working on it. But it still bothers me.
Apparently I'm sensitive about looking like I'm bragplaining. I had a whole thing typed out, but I can't commit to pushing "create post."
I have major anxiety about inconveniencing people and having them annoyed at me. It makes me avoid interacting with people a lot. Also, I'm really sensitive to making people feel bad, so I hold a lot of things in.
I'm with you here. I'm always worried that I'm putting someone out, because even if they won't say so, they may be saying to their spouse (or message board!), "Oh, that annoying woman contacted me again!" I hate the idea that someone might be criticizing me behind my back while smiling to my face.
Related to that, I'm often worried that people are just "putting up" with me because they don't want to hurt my feelings. Let's be honest: people don't always tell the truth. They'll pretend because they don't want to hurt the other person's feelings.
I'm also sensitive about what to talk about with different people. On this board, I'm often hesitant to mention my faith, because of derisive comments I've seen in the past (mostly on ML). I often get the sense (in general life, not necessarily here) that it's okay to be "Christian," but if you're hard-core "churchy," you're in crazy fundie Duggar land.
I'm overly sensitive about things that I've "failed" at, particularly breastfeeding and medfree labor. I hate that I can't be a member of those exclusive clubs, and I always feel the need to justify (dehydrated, weak baby or ticking clock toward c/s b/c of meconium and zero progress).
I'm also sensitive about being excluded. I want to be invited, damn it!
I'm sensitive about my appearance ( clothes weight hair) my house that's why I never invite anyone over, and my school work. There are many days I feel judges because I am 26 and still don't have my degree despite going to school what feels like forever.
I don't know who said that (did I? Because woah if I did... That's unlike me) but I try to place no gender stereotypes ever on anything. It would be my hope if I ever had a daughter that she would be just as successful as her brothers.
I think it was @thadsrad? Sorry if I am completely off-base there.
Well, that is certainly not what I said. But, that was how the whole statement was taken.
I can't really remember what it was in response to. I was trying to express that my white boy child born to well-educated parents is pretty privileged in this world. And that I'm not terribly concerned about....something. I can't remember. Little slights? Not being called smart? Dude, I don't know. That was truly the most frustrated I have ever been at this board.
Post by charmediamsure on Oct 30, 2014 21:45:56 GMT -5
*deep breath* here goes... I'm super sensitive about not being liked. I mostly feel invisible here. Sometimes I stop posting to see if anyone will notice and call me out. I admire and respect so many ladies on here and I've been around since Jack was a poppyseed so I just can't quit you guys, but I generally feel like I don't belong so I lurk a lot now.
I'm sensitive about my weight/looks and I'm usually positive that's why I'm not liked. I'm sensitive about the fact that teaching was a second career that I went back to school at 25 for and if I hadn't been an idiot and decided what I wanted to do sooner I would have a permanent job now instead of substitute teaching.
I think it was @thadsrad? Sorry if I am completely off-base there.
Well, that is certainly not what I said. But, that was how the whole statement was taken.
I can't really remember what it was in response to. I was trying to express that my white boy child born to well-educated parents is pretty privileged in this world. And that I'm not terribly concerned about....something. I can't remember. Little slights? Not being called smart? Dude, I don't know. That was truly the most frustrated I have ever been at this board.
I don't remember it exactly, but I think it had something to do with me being concerned that my son would be douchey because he falls into the category described above. I feared that not having to face adversity or fight for anything would turn him into a Gossip Girl ass.
I had completely forgotten about that until now. FTR, I no longer fear that. He has a very diverse group of friends, and he is such a sweet, empathetic child that I have trouble picturing him as an entitled jerk.
ETA or I'm remembering a totally different thread. I don't know. My mind is shot.
I have major anxiety about inconveniencing people and having them annoyed at me. It makes me avoid interacting with people a lot. Also, I'm really sensitive to making people feel bad, so I hold a lot of things in.
I'm with you here. I'm always worried that I'm putting someone out, because even if they won't say so, they may be saying to their spouse (or message board!), "Oh, that annoying woman contacted me again!" I hate the idea that someone might be criticizing me behind my back while smiling to my face.
Related to that, I'm often worried that people are just "putting up" with me because they don't want to hurt my feelings. Let's be honest: people don't always tell the truth. They'll pretend because they don't want to hurt the other person's feelings.
I'm also sensitive about what to talk about with different people. On this board, I'm often hesitant to mention my faith, because of derisive comments I've seen in the past (mostly on ML). I often get the sense (in general life, not necessarily here) that it's okay to be "Christian," but if you're hard-core "churchy," you're in crazy fundie Duggar land.
I know I'm not the only one you've dealt with one on one, but never ever feel like you can't contact me. I don't find you annoying at all.
charmediamsure . I often feel the same way on here. I don't actively participate in the uos or Fffc much bc either 10 people with the same thoughts of me have posted or my comments get lost because I chime in to late. However I can't quit.
Post by PatBenatar on Oct 30, 2014 22:09:29 GMT -5
The older I get the more I DGAF about things I used to be sensitive about but of course there are still things.
I'm sensitive about my house. It's nothing fancy, kinda small, and I lack interior decorating skills so I feel like people are judging.
I'm also sensitive about being a working mom and still going out several times a month without K. I feel like I'm being judged for not spending enough time with my kid even though I'm sure that's not the case.
I'm sensitive about people judging my parenting. I'm sensitive that people don't think I'm a good enough mother. I'm sensitive about my body. Usual woman/ mother stuff.
*deep breath* here goes... I'm super sensitive about not being liked. I mostly feel invisible here. Sometimes I stop posting to see if anyone will notice and call me out. I admire and respect so many ladies on here and I've been around since Jack was a poppyseed so I just can't quit you guys, but I generally feel like I don't belong so I lurk a lot now.
I'm sensitive about my weight/looks and I'm usually positive that's why I'm not liked. I'm sensitive about the fact that teaching was a second career that I went back to school at 25 for and if I hadn't been an idiot and decided what I wanted to do sooner I would have a permanent job now instead of substitute teaching.
Please don't feel this way. You and @jayhawkali are very important, very valuable posters here. We adore pictures and updates on Jack, Brady, and Amelia, just as much as we love hearing about the two of you. Don't let post frequency determine the impact you make here. Yes, if a poster who talks more frequently goes silent, it's more apparent, but that doesn't mean those people are more "important." We love you both and encourage you to post more, because well, we like you and we like hearing about you!
*deep breath* here goes... I'm super sensitive about not being liked. I mostly feel invisible here. Sometimes I stop posting to see if anyone will notice and call me out. I admire and respect so many ladies on here and I've been around since Jack was a poppyseed so I just can't quit you guys, but I generally feel like I don't belong so I lurk a lot now.
I'm sensitive about my weight/looks and I'm usually positive that's why I'm not liked. I'm sensitive about the fact that teaching was a second career that I went back to school at 25 for and if I hadn't been an idiot and decided what I wanted to do sooner I would have a permanent job now instead of substitute teaching.
I adore you and Jack and hope you know you contribute a lot here. Every time I consult Wonder Weeks I think of you!!!
Ok I have one. I'm sensitive about staying at home. I don't dwell on it, but when I am around working moms I try not to automatically assume that they assume I had no career path or ambition to do something other than stay at home with kids ( please don't take this personally I am not saying that SAHMs don't do VERY hard and draining work.) I feel incomplete without my career and it makes me sad.
charmediamsure . I often feel the same way on here. I don't actively participate in the uos or Fffc much bc either 10 people with the same thoughts of me have posted or my comments get lost because I chime in to late. However I can't quit.
Be that 11th person! I think all with similar opinions like to know others feel the same. xoxo
Ok I have one. I'm sensitive about staying at home. I don't dwell on it, but when I am around working moms I try not to automatically assume that they assume I had no career path or ambition to do something other than stay at home with kids ( please don't take this personally I am not saying that SAHMs don't do VERY hard and draining work.) I feel incomplete without my career and it makes me sad.
I'm jealous that you feel this way. I don't miss my former career at all. I don't miss working in art and I don't miss working in fashion. It makes me feel lazy and uninspired around women with successful careers.
Ok I have one. I'm sensitive about staying at home. I don't dwell on it, but when I am around working moms I try not to automatically assume that they assume I had no career path or ambition to do something other than stay at home with kids ( please don't take this personally I am not saying that SAHMs don't do VERY hard and draining work.) I feel incomplete without my career and it makes me sad.
On the otherside of the coin now that H goes to a school with a lot of sahms, instead of basically none at preschool, I'm self conscious that they think I either don't want to be home or that DH and I both have to work because we have crappy jobs or something. I mean, we do both have to work but not because we are not individually successful. If that mega run on sentence and all those negatives make any sense.
I'm sensitive about my H secretly questioning my decision to SAH. Any time I'm on my phone or have the tv on when he's home I feel like he's silently judging me. I'm sure it's all in my head. It's just so easy for him to hang out with Audrey and we often never even put on the tv for her on weekends and it makes me feel insecure. But I freelance and I'm actually bringing in way more money than I would if I had gone back to work and sent Audrey to daycare since that would have cost most of my post-tax salary. But I also spend a few hours a day sitting on my ass. I feel guilty, but not enough to stop. It's especially bad right now since I went off my anti-depressants. My motivation has tanked and I get overwhelmed by simple stuff.
Ok I have one. I'm sensitive about staying at home. I don't dwell on it, but when I am around working moms I try not to automatically assume that they assume I had no career path or ambition to do something other than stay at home with kids ( please don't take this personally I am not saying that SAHMs don't do VERY hard and draining work.) I feel incomplete without my career and it makes me sad.
I totally get this. I filled out a credit card application the other month and it asked occupation and filling out stay at home mom just made me sad. Not that I'm a mom, but I feel like I'm so much more than that, even though I'm really not now. I want to put but I used to be really awesome at my job when I did work for a wage.
I feel sensitive when people say things like, "you're so skinny!!!" If feels extra weird since I'm pregnant now. I'm trying really hard to keep my weight gain and my OB is so happy with how much I've been able to gain so far despite my nausea.
Post by honeybee503 on Oct 30, 2014 22:46:03 GMT -5
AndyCohen I feel very similar. I feel like when H is around I should be doing something engaging with the kids 24/7 and not just taking a moment to relax. I have to kind of remind myself that every job has off time, even SAH. He spends time relaxing at home so I get to, too. It's hard because it's a different kind of situation. Try not to feel guilty. I also think being pregnant is a relax all you want card!
I'm sensitive about my H secretly questioning my decision to SAH. Any time I'm on my phone or have the tv on when he's home I feel like he's silently judging me. I'm sure it's all in my head. It's just so easy for him to hang out with Audrey and we often never even put on the tv for her on weekends and it makes me feel insecure. But I freelance and I'm actually bringing in way more money than I would if I had gone back to work and sent Audrey to daycare since that would have cost most of my post-tax salary. But I also spend a few hours a day sitting on my ass. I feel guilty, but not enough to stop. It's especially bad right now since I went off my anti-depressants. My motivation has tanked and I get overwhelmed by simple stuff.
All people have to spend time in the day sitting down... Working or stay at home. I find it impossible to parent 24/7 and I HAVE to have a break even if it means putting L in front of a TV while I am in the Internet. <3