I'm torn. While I love me some good drama reading, I feel all kinds of squicky about calling people out for clicking No unless they want to come forward themselves.
(And by interesting I mean fuck you. lol. Your body, your choice my ass.)
I'm curious as to how these voters feel about women's rights in general. But NEWP. I'd rather just drink wine and live in my bubble where women support each other's bodies and choices.
Post by spunkarella on Oct 30, 2014 21:05:33 GMT -5
Can I just say I'm really relieved to see this poll? It's something I've wondered about and I honestly thought the no votes would be higher.
I reserve the right to change my mind, but I don't think I will want to breastfeed when the time comes. I feel like I should at least try, but just because it's the "right" thing to do. Best case, I would have a hard time and be able to give it up quickly for a "good" reason. I don't have any reason for feeling this way (at least nothing I can articulate), I just do.
I don't really blame those that voted No for not coming forward, they know that no good comes from the FF/BF debate. I know who some of the people that chose that option are and I don't hate them for it because while I know that's what they believe, I also know they are good people that are not throwing shade at the moms that choose to FF from day 1.
I thought "Everyone should at least try" before I went through BF hell myself and realized the complexities of the issue.
Oh I will throw the shade. Its crap that people care about this. Why is it so hard for people to not judge the choices of others?
I'm curious as to how these voters feel about women's rights in general. But NEWP. I'd rather just drink wine and live in my bubble where women support each other's bodies and choices.
Ha I edited out the fuck you part. I was like, "real mature, this."
But a thousand times agree with what you said.
I'm glad I caught it. It's never too early for a good old fuck you.
The real question is how can you differentiate how you judge FF feeding? I went though hell and high water to try and breastfed. We went EFF after hundreds of dollars, 5 LC consults, weekly breastfeeding support groups, and 3-5 hours of pumping a day (not including set up and clean up) at 6 months.
But if you silently or passively judge you'd never knew that it was "OK" for me to FF.
So yeah, you can't judge one reason for formula feeding without judging all formula feeding, so really judgers can FO since any reason is good enough anyway.
Post by carolinagirl831 on Oct 30, 2014 21:10:12 GMT -5
I'm surprised none of the no s are saying anything. I distinctly remember posting right before dd was born how so many posts of bf issues really discouraged me from wanting to do it. Several posters distinctly addressed this exact issue.
For the record, I did try for 9 weeks and had major supply and latching issues. I gave up pumping and went to exclusively ff at 3 months. I felt so much happier. But I was spending more time pumping for a ridiculously small amount of bf, just to " prove" I tried. If I have similar issues with #2, I am certainly not putting in that effort and I'm not going to feel bad about it this time. I don't care what others do.
I don't really blame those that voted No for not coming forward, they know that no good comes from the FF/BF debate. I know who some of the people that chose that option are and I don't hate them for it because while I know that's what they believe, I also know they are good people that are not throwing shade at the moms that choose to FF from day 1.
I thought "Everyone should at least try" before I went through BF hell myself and realized the complexities of the issue.
I don't blame them for not coming out either. It's like when pro-life people come out too. Nothing good ever comes of it.
But I can still think pro-lifers are 1000% wrong just like I will think about these 20 posters.
Before having DS and taking a breastfeeding class, I was in the you should at least try camp. However, after having a refluxy, miserable newborn, and realizing I spent the first 2 months of his life obsessing over breastfeeding instead of bonding with my child, I'm firmly on the do what works for you side and if it doesn't work right away with #2, I'm switching right away.
I once posted in an UO thread that I thought waking to pump in the middle of the night for a year was excessive and a few people jumped on me for that. I assume they would vote no in this poll.
It's absolutely no one else's business, choice, body, or baby. I also hate "why not try?" There doesn't have to be a reason, if someone doesn't want to, they shouldn't feel judged.
I believe, strongly, in bodily autonomy. I therefore support a woman's right not to have to do anything she doesn't want to do with her body, whether than means having sex, carrying a pregnancy, or breastfeeding a baby.
I would, however, encourage anyone who is on the fence to give breastfeeding a try, and I support reasonable, non-shaming public health campaigns and hospital policies to encourage breastfeeding. I think breastfeeding should be the default, with formula feeding treated as a perfectly acceptable alternative for those who don't want to or can't.
Can I just say I'm really relieved to see this poll? It's something I've wondered about and I honestly thought the no votes would be higher.
I reserve the right to change my mind, but I don't think I will want to breastfeed when the time comes. I feel like I should at least try, but just because it's the "right" thing to do. Best case, I would have a hard time and be able to give it up quickly for a "good" reason. I don't have any reason for feeling this way (at least nothing I can articulate), I just do.
@tambcat you are pretty much my hero today.
I tried with my first, hoping I'd surprise myself and like it. lol. It's hard to say that I regret that - if I hadn't, I might regret NOT trying, you know?* I'd never tell somebody not to try, but I certainly don't think everybody should or that trying is better than just doing formula. It was a lot easier, physically and emotionally, to just FF my second from birth.
*I do regret spending my most maternity leave pumping and agonizing about whether to switch to formula. I wish I'd made that decision sooner.
This exactly. I had supply issues and he had latch issues so I pumped and stressed spent so much time I wish I could have back. I don't know if I'm going to try next time.
Sometimes I'm like "OMG I'm sooo over BF/FF. That was sooooo long ago! I mean, DD is practically in college!"
Nope, I still care. I don't want to! But I do.
I didn't really even give it that much thought when I was doing it. I can't recall spending to much time debating back in the olden days when I had babies. I do bring out my give a fuck for people being judgemental. Its my soapbox these days.
Also just because someone has this opinion doesn't change my opinion of them much. I disagree with an opinion or more of my real life friends too.
I'll admit I'm not this noble. If I were to find out one of my friends thought this way, especially knowing that I FF, it would probably change my opinion of them. It's hard not to think of someone as a dick when I think they should just mind their own business on how people feed their kids. You (general) can feel one way about how you would do something yourself and still understand and accept that others might not feel that way and are doing something different. Like, I have friends that are exclusively nursing (not even bottle feeding) their toddler but they still support my decision to FF.
And if the people that vote "no" are so hung up on thinking people should EBF, they better damn well be feeding their kids only unprocessed organic food because otherwise... glass houses.
Post by noodleskooze on Oct 30, 2014 21:27:59 GMT -5
As some of you know, I had a horrible time trying to BF and then EP before switching to formula. I still plan to do everything I can to BF the next kid, even though I had such a hard time last time.
That said, I'm pretty sure the people like tamb who confidently FF from the start are way smarter than the way I'm going about it.
Same. H's mom and sister (and a lot of his family) are really, really weird about BF. It was annoying. I wasn't weird about their FF!
I think this is a weird thing where FFers are shamed online (and possibly in the Pacific Northwest lol) and BFers are shamed in person.
Formula is fine here as long as it's gluten free and locally sourced.
KIDDING. Parenting is stressful, feeding is stressful, the FFers by choice seem to be doing it mostly to reduce mom's stress level. Sounds good to me! Do what works, puppies, rainbows, etc.
I am a big supporter of BF and moms who want to BF getting good information, advice and support to be successful, but I don't care if you chose to FF and you don't owe me an explanation why.
Several times I've had moms ask me if I was nursing and then say, "I couldn't because..." and go into this big thing defending themselves, then it's all awkward. I didn't ask! I don't care!
But I notice this on a lot of baby related things.
Before having DS and taking a breastfeeding class, I was in the you should at least try camp. However, after having a refluxy, miserable newborn, and realizing I spent the first 2 months of his life obsessing over breastfeeding instead of bonding with my child, I'm firmly on the do what works for you side and if it doesn't work right away with #2, I'm switching right away.
I once posted in an UO thread that I thought waking to pump in the middle of the night for a year was excessive and a few people jumped on me for that. I assume they would vote no in this poll.
Why would those people automatically vote no? I don't think pumping in the MOTN is excessive if the mother doing the pumping doesn't think it's excessive, but if she said she didn't want to do it, I wouldn't judge that, either. I don't know what choice I would have made in that situation - I like nursing just fine, but I hate pumping. I cut dairy and soy to continue nursing because it worked for me, but I absolutely don't judge people who choose not to do that. Just because we make one choice for ourselves doesn't mean we think everybody should make the same choice. No choice is superior here.
My husband is judgmental about formula feeding by choice and we've had many a fight about it. But he's a man, so he knows nothing about anything and his arguments are a JOKE. He's like, the nicest human, so I fucking love that I'm a way better person on this one issue.