Brittany Maynard has decided not to end her life tomorrow

[jlt19]

Has anyone else been following this story?

www.cnn.com/2014/10/29/health/oregon-brittany-maynard-video/index.html

Brittany Maynard says she hasn't decided yet when she'll end her life, but it's a decision she's still determined to make.

"I still feel good enough and I still have enough joy and I still laugh and smile with my family and friends enough that it doesn't seem like the right time right now," Maynard says in a video released to CNN on Wednesday. "But it will come, because I feel myself getting sicker. It's happening each week."

Maynard says she has stage IV glioblastoma multiforme, an aggressive form of terminal brain cancer. In April, she says, doctors gave her six months to live.

The 29-year-old Oregon woman's story spread rapidly on social media after she revealed her plans to take medication to end her life. A video explaining her choice has garnered more than 8.8 million views on YouTube. And she's become a prominent spokeswoman for the "death with dignity" movement, which advocates that terminally ill patients be allowed to receive medication that will let them die on their own terms. She's also become a lightning rod for criticism from people who oppose that approach.
 


Maynard: 'I want to die on my own terms'
In her latest statement, a nearly six-minute video produced and released by end-of-life choice advocacy group Compassion & Choices, Maynard acknowledges that some have been skeptical about her story.

"When people criticize me for not waiting longer, or, you know, whatever they've decided is best for me, it hurts," she says, "because really, I risk it every day, every day that I wake up."

Compassion & Choices spokesman Sean Crowley declined CNN's request to speak with Maynard's doctors, saying they "prefer to remain anonymous for now because opponents of death with dignity sometimes harass doctors who write aid-in-dying prescriptions."

Maynard says her health has been getting worse. She describes a recent "terrifying" day when she had two seizures and found herself unable to say her husband's name.

"I think sometimes people look at me and they think. 'Well you don't look as sick as you say you are,' which hurts to hear, because when I'm having a seizure and I can't speak afterwards, I certainly feel as sick as I am," she says, her voice cracking as she tears up.

When she first started speaking out about her decision, Maynard said she planned to take the medication she'd been prescribed in early November. In her latest video, she says she's still waiting to see how her symptoms progress before deciding on a date.

But taking too long to make that choice is now one of her greatest fears, Maynard says in the video.

"The worst thing that could happen to me is that I wait too long because I'm trying to seize each day," she says, "but I somehow have my autonomy taken away from me by my disease because of the nature of my cancer."

National campaign

Compassion & Choices says the latest video, which was recorded on October 13 and 14, is part of a campaign "to expand access to death with dignity in California and other states nationwide."

Maynard was living in California when doctors diagnosed her with brain cancer.

"We had to uproot from California to Oregon, because Oregon is one of only five states where death with dignity is authorized," she said in an opinion column she wrote for CNN earlier this month.

Oregon, Washington and Vermont have "death with dignity" laws that allow terminally ill, mentally competent residents to voluntarily request and receive prescription drugs to hasten their death. Judicial decisions in Montana and New Mexico authorize doctors to prescribe fatal drug doses in such circumstances, although the rulings haven't become state law.

Now, changing that has become part of Maynard's mission.

"My goal, of course, is to influence this policy for positive change. And I would like to see all Americans have access to the same health care rights," she says in her latest video.

But she says she's also focused on simpler goals.

"They mostly do boil down to my family and friends and making sure they all know how important they are to me and how much I love them," she says.


"It's not my job to tell her how to live, and it's not my job to tell her how to die," she says. "It's my job to love her through it."

Her husband, Dan Diaz, says they're taking things day by day.

"That's the only way to get through this. You take away all of the material stuff, all the nonsense that we all seem to latch onto as a society," he says, "and you realize that those moments are really what matter."

Last week, Maynard visited the Grand Canyon -- a trip she described as the last item on her bucket list.

Photos on her website showed her and her husband standing on the edge of the canyon, hugging and kissing. In the video, Maynard says she's hoping her mother and husband will be able to bounce back after her death.

"I understand everyone needs to grieve, but I want him to be happy, so I want him to have a family," she says. "And I know that might sound weird, but there's no part of me that wants him to live out the rest of his life just missing his wife, so I hope he moves on and becomes a father."

Debate over 'death with dignity'

The so-called "death with dignity" movement is opposed by many religious and right-to-life groups, which consider it assisted suicide.

And Maynard's decision has drawn criticism from some religious leaders.

"We believe she's made in the image of God, we believe that God determined when she would be born and God should determine when she's going to die," Dave Watson, pastor of Calvary Chapel of Staten Island, told CNN's Brooke Baldwin earlier this month. "I certainly sympathize. And when I read the story, I prayed for the woman and her family. I can't imagine the agony for a decision like this. But I don't think that necessarily we're saying the right things about death."

What if Maynard had showed a gun in her video, instead of a pill bottle, he asked.

Philip Johnson, a Catholic seminarian who says he was also diagnosed with incurable brain cancer, criticized Maynard's choice.

"A diagnosis of terminal cancer uproots one's whole life, and the decision to pursue physician-assisted suicide seeks to grasp at an ounce of control in the midst of turmoil," he wrote in a column posted on the Catholic Diocese of Raleigh's website. "It is an understandable temptation to take this course of action, but that is all that it is -- a temptation to avoid an important reality of life."

But polls have shown that most Americans support having a say in how they die, especially if the process is described not as doctors helping a patient "commit suicide" but as ending a patient's life "by some painless means."

"I think there is something of a movement here," Arthur Caplan, professor of bioethics at NYU's Langone Medical Center, told CNN's Don Lemon earlier this month. "When you push Americans to say, 'Do you want choice on this matter?' I think a lot of them are going to say yes."

Caplan said Maynard's first video speaking out about her decision raised some concerns.

"I wouldn't want her to feel pressure that she had to do it because she just told us all she was going to," he said.

Maynard has stressed that she isn't suicidal.

"If all my dreams came true, I would somehow survive this," she says in her latest video, "but most likely, I won't."

[MixedBerryJam]

This is a little bit of a hot button thing for me; I haven't been following too too closely because this is the disease that killed my husband, but I'm glad she's still feeling okay. I absolutely support her in her decision, though, whenever and under whatever circumstances she decides to end her life. I wish everyone had the right to make it.

[jlt19]

Oct 31, 2014 7:38:58 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

This is a little bit of a hot button thing for me; I haven't been following too too closely because this is the disease that killed my husband, but I'm glad she's still feeling okay. I absolutely support her in her decision, though, whenever and under whatever circumstances she decides to end her life. I wish everyone had the right to make it.

I'm sorry, I didn't know. ((hugs))

[MixedBerryJam]

Oct 31, 2014 7:41:18 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

Oct 31, 2014 7:38:58 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

I'm sorry, I didn't know. ((hugs))

Thank you.

[Buttercup]

I'm sorry MixedBerryJam.

I'm passionate about this because my first nursing job was 5 years on a palliative care floor and allowing people to die with dignity is a hot button issue for me. It makes me rage when people say this woman is being selfish because she wants to put a stop to her pain and suffering. I'm glad that for now she is still able to enjoy her quality of life but overall the whole story just makes me incredibly sad.

[wambam]

I'm glad she's feeling well right now.

[cinnamoncox]

MixedBerryJam I'm so sorry

I am so glad this woman has the choice. I hate that she's in the position to make it, but I'm glad she has the option.
After watching how to die in Oregon, I've come to understand (as much as one can without actually going through it) dying with choice so much more, and I hope it becomes something available for everyone terminal, if they so choose.

Heartbreaking, no doubt.

[lightbulbsun]

I'm glad she's still feeling well. I can't imagine how tough this decision has been for her.

[underwaterrhymes]

Not understanding her decision to end her life on her terms is one thing. But anyone who would call her selfish hasn't watched a loved one struggle with a terminal illness. I'm so glad she still feels like she has quality of life, but when she stops feeling that way, I totally support whatever her decision is.

We lost my aunt to lung cancer that metastasized to her brain and it was horrible. I don't know that she would have made this same decision, but it would have been nice if she'd at least had the option.

[underwaterrhymes]

And I'm so sorry MixedBerryJam. Big hugs to you.

[wise_rita]

Who the fuck is calling her selfish? They can kindly shove a hot metal poker up their ass, sideways.

Do people seriously think they get a say in how she lives and dies?

God I hate people.

[elleblue]

{{{MixedBerryJam}}}

[MixedBerryJam]

Thank you for the good thoughts everyone. I really didn't mean to sidetrack the thread though. Sorry.

[ECB]

I just can't understand the selfish argument. How is it selfish? Because she's leaving the people who love her?

But how is it not selfish of the people who are claiming that she shouldn't have this right? Isn't it selfish of them to, in essence, force people to live longer and die a slow, painful death all so that they can claim that they had as much time as possible w/ that person??

Arg. This topic angers me.

And mixedberry - I'm so sorry. {{hugs}}

[MixedBerryJam]

Oct 31, 2014 8:15:25 GMT -5 ECB said:

I just can't understand the selfish argument. How is it selfish? Because she's leaving the people who love her?

But how is it not selfish of the people who are claiming that she shouldn't have this right? Isn't it selfish of them to, in essence, force people to live longer and die a slow, painful death all so that they can claim that they had as much time as possible w/ that person??

Arg. This topic angers me.

And mixedberry - I'm so sorry. {{hugs}}

Not even that ... strangers on the internet are telling her she's selfish, she's cowardly, etc. STFU already and mind your own damn business!

[jlt19]

I was in Chicago last month and there was a group protesting a conference regarding this. The organization was called "not dead yet". I don't know if everyone there was terminally ill, but there were a lot in wheelchairs. I was sort of surprised to see people "in the position" be against this, but then again, I guess even some with terminal illnesses are pro-life as well.

[my3boyz]

The whole situation is so, so sad. I think it's wonderful that she has the option and is bringing awareness to others that it's an option.

I saw most of the video and I keep thinking about her husband. This must be so hard, because how do you not grieve for someone you are losing but they are still here. And when she said she hopes he has a family, that was heartbreaking. I can't imagine the pain of knowing that my spouse would go on to experience all of those things and I never would.

[Deleted]

I hate that she set a date in the first place, and I felt like it would become problematic for her personally (who cares what others think) but that she would feel like she had to do it then or that it would become increasingly more difficult as it drew near. I think it might have been better for her to just say I'm going to do this when I feel it's right for me, forget the due date. I'm sorry anyone is faced with this, and I am sending MixedBerryJam hugs. I fully support her decision, I just felt like setting a deadline wasn't necessary.

[thedutchgirl]

Oct 31, 2014 7:38:58 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

This is a little bit of a hot button thing for me; I haven't been following too too closely because this is the disease that killed my husband, but I'm glad she's still feeling okay. I absolutely support her in her decision, though, whenever and under whatever circumstances she decides to end her life. I wish everyone had the right to make it.

I am so sorry, and I agree 100%. My grandpa, and two friends' fathers all died of GBM. Having some control over that horrible disease is a little tiny blessing in the midst of the sadness.

[Kristinmo]

Oct 31, 2014 8:31:37 GMT -5 jlt19 said:

I was in Chicago last month and there was a group protesting a conference regarding this. The organization was called "not dead yet". I don't know if everyone there was terminally ill, but there were a lot in wheelchairs. I was sort of surprised to see people "in the position" be against this, but then again, I guess even some with terminal illnesses are pro-life as well.

To me this is similar to abortion. You can disagree with someone's decision but you shouldn't be able to deny them the ability to make the decision. 

[sparkythelawyer]

I hope she is able to enjoy every good day she has, then take her leave with the class she has shown throughout this whole ordeal. I am so sorry she even has to consider the decisions she has made.

[madringal]

I am glad she doesn't feel the need to do it on the 1st just because that is was people may be expecting. My heart just goes out to her. It seems like she wants to do it while she is still capable of being of sound mind enough to make the decision, but not to it too soon as not to miss time with family and friends. I just can't imagine how awful it would be to have to make that decision. I hope the rest of the days she has left are full of nothing but peace and love.

[zoomzoom]

I'm so sorry MBJ.

My heart goes out to her and if I were in her shoes, I'd be moving to one of those five states as well. After having watch my grandmother die a slow and painful death, I absolutely support the Die with Dignity movement. I'm glad she's feeling well enough for now and I applaud her for her efforts to bring attention to this.

[pantaloons55]

No I see your point Sue. I was thinking the same thing about the family.

Like obviously this is horrible for everyone, and certainly its the worst for the person living it. However, the 'due date' must have been (and still will be) a challenge for the family too.

You think that you are preparing (as much as anyone is able to) but moving targets and setting dates must be just as awful as letting it come naturally. Its all around difficult and sad.

[jlt19]

Oct 31, 2014 12:07:48 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

my heart goes out to her, and her entire family.

And, sort of shamefully, there is a teensy little part of me that is feeling sorry for her dh and parents in that this was going to be over on the 1st and now it's not. Their agony must be unbearable; but I can see a Monty Python sketch in here somewhere.

I REALIZE I AM HORRIBLE.

Well, I'll make it even worse and compare the situation to my dog. The day I decided it was time to let him go, he had a great day. I had taken off work 1/2 a day and scheduled a vet to come do it at our house. My DH took off early and my dad even came over to say goodbye. My dad, bless his heart, asked if I was cancelling b/c he was doing so well. I asked him to stop second guessing my decision, it was already hard enough. But I DID second guess my decision, even though the next day could have been horrible for him. In the end I went through with it and the vet told me "it's good he had a good day, that way, his last day was a happy one". That really helped.

All that to say, I get where you're coming from. They've built themselves up for it to happen and now they're going to have to do that again. I'm sure they're ok with that though, as it's like they've been granted the gift of more time.

[cinnamoncox]

Oct 31, 2014 12:07:48 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

my heart goes out to her, and her entire family.

And, sort of shamefully, there is a teensy little part of me that is feeling sorry for her dh and parents in that this was going to be over on the 1st and now it's not. Their agony must be unbearable; but I can see a Monty Python sketch in here somewhere.

I REALIZE I AM HORRIBLE.

Have you seen how to die in Oregon? If you have, forgive me for the rehash of sorts.
One woman touched on this, the setting of a date. She set hers for Memorial Day weekend, and at first people thought it was bizarre to have the date hanging over their heads, but she said it was actually the opposite.
Instead of always wondering when, and basically spending each day in mourning, knowing it was when not if, they were able to just live. Do things as a family, make memories, etc.
when her date came, she was feeling ok, and I believe she changed the date twice.
The difficult thing is by law the MUST administer the drug themselves. One man had Parkinson's and waited too long and was physically unable to take the meds himself, so he couldn't do it. He had to die the "old fashioned" way. Suffering, his family watching and suffering.
So it's weird in the sense they must be well (physically) enough to take the meds themselves, so I can't imagine having to do it still feeling somewhat ok. I hope I'm explaining this correctly. They can't just wait until they're wasting away and have a dr just give them a pill, it needs to be them.

I hope all states make this possible. That documentary was only like the third doc that's made me really really cry.

[cinnamoncox]

Oct 31, 2014 13:19:37 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Oct 31, 2014 13:18:20 GMT -5 cinnamoncox said:

Have you seen how to die in Oregon? If you have, forgive me for the rehash of sorts.
One woman touched on this, the setting of a date. She set hers for Memorial Day weekend, and at first people thought it was bizarre to have the date hanging over their heads, but she said it was actually the opposite.
Instead of always wondering when, and basically spending each day in mourning, knowing it was when not if, they were able to just live. Do things as a family, make memories, etc.
when her date came, she was feeling ok, and I believe she changed the date twice.
The difficult thing is by law the MUST administer the drug themselves. One man had Parkinson's and waited too long and was physically unable to take the meds himself, so he couldn't do it. He had to die the "old fashioned" way. Suffering, his family watching and suffering.
So it's weird in the sense they must be well (physically) enough to take the meds themselves, so I can't imagine having to do it still feeling somewhat ok. I hope I'm explaining this correctly. They can't just wait until they're wasting away and have a dr just give them a pill, it needs to be them.

I hope all states make this possible. That documentary was only like the third doc that's made me really really cry.

Yeah, she did talk about being scared of losing the autonomy to be able to make the decision:(

Oh
It's just heartbreaking.
The documentary opened my eyes. That and You Don't Know Jack. They both made me 100% for death with choice (I don't like to say with dignity). Before seeing those I was totally it's suicide! No, it's not. These people ARE dying. Suicide is ending a life, this is just ending a life that's certainly ending, but on their own terms.
It's a rough topic for sure.

[vampsterdam]

Has anyone watched the Spanish film Mar Adentro (In English, The Sea Inside)?

From Wiki: "It is based on the real-life story of Ramón Sampedro (played by Javier Bardem), who was left quadriplegic after a diving accident, and his 28-year campaign in support of euthanasia and the right to end his life."

They showed this film in class and I was hysterical. It is a very interesting movie though!

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry, MixedBerryJam

My mil is still so grateful that FIL was able to choose to stop care on his terms. He had told her he wanted to do it sooner, but because of how his illness progressed, he wanted the family to enjoy the holidays without his death being a part of it/anniversary. He was in so much pain toward the end. Fuck anyone who doesn't support this decision.

[bugandbibs]

To me, this helps highlight that (roughly) only about half of the people who fill the prescription actually use it. It's not like people are willy-nilly choosing assisted sucicide.

I'm glad she is feeling okay right now.