Submit your OpEd here.

[nytimes]

The NYT is taking drafts of opinion pieces for possible publication in our OpEd section.  

Topic of your choosing.  You will not be paid.  The honor of seeing your name in our prestigious paper will be your reward.

[ghostmonkey]

You better watch out. bumpjackiebj might ban you for stealing her idea of suckering people into do your job for no pay.

[grandmagooglesstuff]

costume idea for seniors

[SmugCrossfitter]

I don't know how it happened and I'm unaware of any controversies in physical anthropology or genetics since I don't read much about it, but we are genetically engineered to thrive in a different world, one where food was scarce and life was full of arduous physical activity. And sex. Read Vilhjalmur Stefansson. His decades of experiments with all-meat diets show that meat is all we need and totally justify my diet of only steak and bacon. Any one who says the Inuit ate plants must have encountered tribes that had been tricked into eating them.

This one study showed that extract of potato killed baby seal cells in a culture of Green Jello. Therefore, this food is a neolithic agent of disease. If you are having problems with zero carb it's because you are not adapted yet. No, I don't want to hear how long you tried it, I don't believe you, maybe you accidentally had some coconut milk or other dangerous carbs. Ketosis is perfect state of metabolism and there is no way it could cause issues. Body fat does all sorts of metabolic damage. Imaging studies show diminished brain mass in the obese.

While all large population studies showing meat is bad are totally invalid, here is a large population study showing peppers cause brain kittens. I don't eat plants because Owsley Stanley told me not to. He made 5 million hits of acid, so he knows more about chemistry than you do. Only non-paleo plants contain toxins. Maybe you feel fine eating these New World foods now, but you never know when you might erupt tiny panda-shaped cysts on your face. It could take decades. You'll suffer and you won't be able to go back and undo the damage.

[grandmagooglesstuff]

costume idea for seniors not racist

[stefon]

Can I submit my engagement story? It's tres' New York and so amazing...

It started with this...


Then of course after one of our club nights to this...


Then we worked our way to this...


Now we're headed to this...

[NancyNaturopath]

[stefon]

Oct 31, 2014 11:39:09 GMT -5 SmugCrossfitter said:

I don't know how it happened and I'm unaware of any controversies in physical anthropology or genetics since I don't read much about it, but we are genetically engineered to thrive in a different world, one where food was scarce and life was full of arduous physical activity. And sex. Read Vilhjalmur Stefansson. His decades of experiments with all-meat diets show that meat is all we need and totally justify my diet of only steak and bacon. Any one who says the Inuit ate plants must have encountered tribes that had been tricked into eating them.

This one study showed that extract of potato killed baby seal cells in a culture of Green Jello. Therefore, this food is a neolithic agent of disease. If you are having problems with zero carb it's because you are not adapted yet. No, I don't want to hear how long you tried it, I don't believe you, maybe you accidentally had some coconut milk or other dangerous carbs. Ketosis is perfect state of metabolism and there is no way it could cause issues. Body fat does all sorts of metabolic damage. Imaging studies show diminished brain mass in the obese.

While all large population studies showing meat is bad are totally invalid, here is a large population study showing peppers cause brain kittens. I don't eat plants because Owsley Stanley told me not to. He made 5 million hits of acid, so he knows more about chemistry than you do. Only non-paleo plants contain toxins. Maybe you feel fine eating these New World foods now, but you never know when you might erupt tiny panda-shaped cysts on your face. It could take decades. You'll suffer and you won't be able to go back and undo the damage.

Oh yes to the bolded...

[notacatfish]

There need to be more resources for hard working women who have fallen upon bad times. I'm honest, caring, compassionate, and an upstanding citizen. Yet my employer was able to fire me when I shattered my leg and hurt my back. Since then I haven't been able to pay my bills, let alone feed my animals and see my estranged child. Life kicks you in the gut sometimes, and the government doesn't do a thing to help.

[charleskoch]

Oct 31, 2014 11:44:37 GMT -5 notacatfish said:

There need to be more resources for hard working women who have fallen upon bad times. I'm honest, caring, compassionate, and an upstanding citizen. Yet my employer was able to fire me when I shattered my leg and hurt my back. Since then I haven't been able to pay my bills, let alone feed my animals and see my estranged child. Life kicks you in the gut sometimes, and the government doesn't do a thing to help.

Typical lazy liberal.  Wah wah wah.  Life is hard, someone fix it for me.  Get up off your ass and go find a job.  Minimum wage is more than enough to live.  It's practically scandalous how high the bleeding hearts want to make the minimum wage!  Next you'll want free birth control.

[SaRa n MiR.I.aM]

Seriously? Look at her butt. Ew!
Oh, she looks like a slut. Ew!
I'm like "what the what"? Ew!
Right? Right? Ew. Ew.

Oh, you got to see this.
Oh my gross I can't believe it.
She's so basically basic.
She's literally making me sick.

This is embarrassing. Ew. Ew.
Like seriously, seriously. Ew. Ew.
No seriously, seriously! Ew. Ew.
I can't, I can't! Ew. Ew.

Look at look at this. OM-effin-G, what the eff?
You're gonna freakin' flip, like, seriously freakin' flip.
Cuz Sally's mad at Iggy because Iggy's booty's more biggy,
And Sally's booty's twiggy so she called her friend Cybie,
Now Sally's gonna get impleggies --

What's impleggies?
Implants, silly.
Ew!

I'm freakin' for real.
I think silicone butts are ew, ew!

Where'd she get that outfit?
That girl is totally ratchet.
No seriously - who likes that? Ew!
Right right? Ew ew.

Look at the way she takes pics.
And what's up with those duck lips?
She's so lame.
Super lame. Ew, ew!

This is embarrassing. Ew, ew.
Like seriously seriously. Ew, ew.
No, seriously seriously. Ew, ew.
Oh my gosh. Ew, ew.

I am not hating,
I am merely conversating.
With my BFF Sara.
So bust your rhyme, Sara...

It's mir.i.am and you know who,
Now here's some things I think are EW!
FaceTime and reclining in airplane seats and then Vining, retweeting tweets I'm not lying cuz even rhyming's ann-iy-ing!
Bread bowls and ravioli, casserole, a roly poly caterpillar on my really old and moldy windowsill. Ew!
Trapper keepers and a creeper wearin' sneakers with the toes and maybe Frozen cuz you knowin' I don't wanna build a snowman. Ew! Ew!

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

Hello my name is Sara
That's Sara with no "H"
Too bad if you don't like it
Cuz haters gonna
Hate my Stepdad Gary
He tries to act so cool
Every time we see him
My friends and I say "Ew!"

Hey funky bunch, what're you guys doing?

Oh my gosh, it's my step dad Gary.
And he just ruined it!

I heard that funky beat that you were playing down here.
It's a party over here.
It's a party over here.

Ew!

[notacatfish]

Oct 31, 2014 11:50:26 GMT -5 charleskoch said:

Oct 31, 2014 11:44:37 GMT -5 notacatfish said:

There need to be more resources for hard working women who have fallen upon bad times. I'm honest, caring, compassionate, and an upstanding citizen. Yet my employer was able to fire me when I shattered my leg and hurt my back. Since then I haven't been able to pay my bills, let alone feed my animals and see my estranged child. Life kicks you in the gut sometimes, and the government doesn't do a thing to help.

Typical lazy liberal.  Wah wah wah.  Life is hard, someone fix it for me.  Get up off your ass and go find a job.  Minimum wage is more than enough to live.  It's practically scandalous how high the bleeding hearts want to make the minimum wage!  Next you'll want free birth control.

I have no need for birth control. I had a crazy birth with my son and had to have an emergency hysterectomy. Since then I've had other medical problems, but you wouldn't want to hear about all of them. I want to work! I just can't get to a job because of my leg, and because my boyfriend took our car when he left.

[fromdatestodiapers]

Oct 31, 2014 11:44:37 GMT -5 notacatfish said:

There need to be more resources for hard working women who have fallen upon bad times. I'm honest, caring, compassionate, and an upstanding citizen. Yet my employer was able to fire me when I shattered my leg and hurt my back. Since then I haven't been able to pay my bills, let alone feed my animals and see my estranged child. Life kicks you in the gut sometimes, and the government doesn't do a thing to help.

You should start a blog.

[notacatfish]

Oct 31, 2014 11:56:12 GMT -5 fromdatestodiapers said:

Oct 31, 2014 11:44:37 GMT -5 notacatfish said:

There need to be more resources for hard working women who have fallen upon bad times. I'm honest, caring, compassionate, and an upstanding citizen. Yet my employer was able to fire me when I shattered my leg and hurt my back. Since then I haven't been able to pay my bills, let alone feed my animals and see my estranged child. Life kicks you in the gut sometimes, and the government doesn't do a thing to help.

You should start a blog.

I'd love to! I'm not sure what to base it on? My love for my animals? They really are the best. I could post about how I keep them relatively healthy on a short budget. 

I know! I could do one of those Frugal Living blogs. I could show everyone how to make cheese in the sink using a sock and old milk. You save so much money doing that!

[fromdatestodiapers]

Oct 31, 2014 11:58:32 GMT -5 notacatfish said:

Oct 31, 2014 11:56:12 GMT -5 fromdatestodiapers said:

You should start a blog.

I'd love to! I'm not sure what to base it on? My love for my animals? They really are the best. I could post about how I keep them relatively healthy on a short budget. 

I know! I could do one of those Frugal Living blogs. I could show everyone how to make cheese in the sink using a sock and old milk. You save so much money doing that!

You should also try unrolling the two-ply toilet paper so it lasts twice as long.

[notacatfish]

Oct 31, 2014 12:02:28 GMT -5 fromdatestodiapers said:

Oct 31, 2014 11:58:32 GMT -5 notacatfish said:

I'd love to! I'm not sure what to base it on? My love for my animals? They really are the best. I could post about how I keep them relatively healthy on a short budget. 

I know! I could do one of those Frugal Living blogs. I could show everyone how to make cheese in the sink using a sock and old milk. You save so much money doing that!

You should also try unrolling the two-ply toilet paper so it lasts twice as long.

That's a wonderful idea! I'll have to try that when I get some more toilet paper. I've been making do with a washcloth since I haven't been able to get out of the house to get more supplies. No Amazon Prime and no car are really taking their toll.

[goopygwyn]

Can I just publish a large picture of my beautiful self and a link to the Goop?

[South African SL Interpreter]

Mine is called "Should You Learn Sign Lassie?"

[rickperrysuterus]

Oct 31, 2014 11:44:37 GMT -5 notacatfish said:

There need to be more resources for hard working women who have fallen upon bad times. I'm honest, caring, compassionate, and an upstanding citizen. Yet my employer was able to fire me when I shattered my leg and hurt my back. Since then I haven't been able to pay my bills, let alone feed my animals and see my estranged child. Life kicks you in the gut sometimes, and the government doesn't do a thing to help.

I don't think you're an American. Real Americans don't want government intrusion into their private lives. Unless you're considering an abortion, then it's not intruding because I believe every life is precious.

Sent from my SGH-T889 using proboards

[rickperrysuterus]

I'd like you to run a piece on my 2016 Presidential bid, and plan to fix our nation's economy by ending abortion. I'd also like to include debunking the climate change myth, ending Obamacare, and making sure all fetuses have the right to open carry.

Sent from my SGH-T889 using proboards

[Democratic National Commitee]

I know we ask you for a lot. Right now, Republicans are outspending us in key battleground states. If we don’t have the resources to fight back now, we will lose in November. So, New York Times, I need you to get on board and fight alongside me. If we fail, Democrats will be overwhelmed – and we could face a Tea Party wave. Can I count on you to pitch in $5 or $50 right now?

[stefon]

Oct 31, 2014 12:59:25 GMT -5 rickperrysuterus said:

I'd like you to run a piece on my 2016 Presidential bid, and plan to fix our nation's economy by ending abortion. I'd also like to include debunking the climate change myth, ending Obamacare, and making sure all fetuses have the right to open carry.

Sent from my SGH-T889 using proboards

It has everything - fences for fortifying big ol' Texas , men tickling our uteruses, boot straps tied to our open-ass chaps, smart-guy-looking glasses, and two big, burley guys to help you dance with any liberal...Smith & Wesson.

[royalfetus]

Second kids truly get a bad rap. Just because I'm born second doesn't mean I should have to wait for my sibling to die to inherit the throne. Seriously, I will be way too old at that point to enjoy all the perks of being in charge.

Second royal child syndrome would be a wonderful op ed. It would shed a light on the sad life we live in the public spotlight, where we can't enjoy a nice strip club or Nazi uniform without being featured all over the tabloids. We're people too.

[bumpjackiebj]

Soliciting is banned per the bump TOS. Please discontinue posting such requests. You are disrupting our community.

[georgerrmartin]

I'll put it on the list of things I still have to write.

[Transitioning Bruce Jenner]

Hey, my actual job title is motivational speaker! I talk to kids who are dreaming about over coming their dyslexia to become an Olympic champion, and later reality TV star and transwoman. It's a huge market!

[Deleted]

How great it is that Starbucks is going to start delivering in 2015!!!!!! You guys, I will come to you now!!!!

[jayde]

im not down with net neutrality

also i see your underwear ha ha

[thepoors]

I'm getting really tired of people telling me I can't have Skittles or lottery tickets.

[RNC Ballot Police]

Big Headline:

Voting: Not a Right But a Privilege

Little headline:

How the GOP is cleansing the vote for a brighter American future.