Reuniting after a long absence

[bananapancakes]

We aren't a MF but are dealing with a situation that many of you have likely dealt with so I'm looking for your perspective.

My H has been away for a work training program for the last 6 months. He left when our son was 7 weeks and he will return when our son is 7 months old. I've been on my own with him the whole time at I'm looking to get some advice on co parenting after having been on my own for so long. My H was only able to make it home for 2 weekend visits when our son was about 3 months and 6 months. He really is almost a stranger to our little guy so I'm looking for advice on how to help him bond with our son after such a long absence and advice for me too I guess.

Thanks for any insight you can provide!

[meltoine]

Let him figure out his own way to do stuff with your kid. You have a routine down and you know how to do everything, but he needs to find his own way. If you are always showing him or taking over because he's not doing it right, he won't develop confidence as a parent and may stop trying.

MH was gone for a while when DS1 was tiny and I wouldn't let him do anything when he got home because he didn't do it right. Caused a lot of problems.

[meggers5]

I see this isn't about reunion sex.

I'll see myself out.

ETA: lol at me. I thought this was on ml. I'm not even on the right board.

Carry on.

[bananapancakes]

Lol meggers5! We've got the reunion sex down pat. It's the reunion parenting that I'm worried about.

[amaristella]

If you're looking specifically for bonding ideas the two things that my husband does that I think helps him to bond the most are babywearing (he has his own Ergo) and reading him books before bed. Otherwise I would just find something that could be his responsibility like diaper changes or baths and help by suggesting games or activities if he seems like he just doesn't know what to do with him.

[bananapancakes]

Ugh, thanks for the advice but we just found out that he's not coming home as scheduled. Instead of 2 more weeks, we have 10 more weeks now.

[bananapancakes]

Yes, it's terrible. All thanks to the attack on parliament hill a few weeks ago. I'm so bummed.

[bananapancakes]

Nov 8, 2014 11:39:18 GMT -5 Stan said:

Nov 7, 2014 21:04:40 GMT -5 bananapancakes said:

Yes, it's terrible. All thanks to the attack on parliament hill a few weeks ago. I'm so bummed.

Is he RCMP? That really sucks. Not him being a Mountie (that is too legit, when I wanted to be Canadian when I was a kid because I wanted to marry Patrick Marleau, I wanted to be a Mountie), but that you guys got a surprise extension of your separation. That's the worst feeling.

Yep, he's RCMP and yes, the surprise is the worst part. Finding out about an 8 week extension less than 2 weeks before we were supposed to be finished is awful!

[awick14]

((bananapancakes)) I am so sorry that your Ha training has extended by another 8 weeks.

[bananapancakes]

Nov 8, 2014 11:59:52 GMT -5 awick14 said:

((bananapancakes)) I am so sorry that your Ha training has extended by another 8 weeks.

Thanks! It sucks big time especially since it's over (L's first) Christmas. We'll survive though!

[amaristella]

Nov 7, 2014 20:55:59 GMT -5 bananapancakes said:

Ugh, thanks for the advice but we just found out that he's not coming home as scheduled. Instead of 2 more weeks, we have 10 more weeks now.

I am so sorry. This too shall pass. I know it sucks to get your expectations made and then have everything totally changed on you.