Fricking Frick.

[shauni27]

@preppy 's post about CD 1 made me sad enough thinking about my next CD1 right around the corner, but then:

A good friend/co worker told our other friend today that she is pregnant.  She is not telling anyone right now (which makes me sad that she wanted to tell our other friend over me), plus she is scared to tell me in general (per our mutual friend that she told) because she doesn't want to make me sad.  It is SO hard for me not to feel bitter about everything.  I can't even feel happy for her yet, I just keep crying.  This is someone I see on a daily basis and it is about to be in my face all the time that she is pregnant and I am not. 

I am leaving work early to go work out and cry and get vodka.

I just need hair pats from those who understand :/

Post and run for above reasons, but I will be back this evening.

[Mushe]

Hugs, girl! It has to sting that she's worried about your reaction. I'm so sorry!

[Koala]

I'm so sorry. On one hand, it was nice of her to spare your feeling, but not cool or the other friend to tell you anyway. But, it probably would have been nice to hear it from the source, process your greetings, and then be happy for her.
((Hugs))

[shauni27]

The other friend and I had a feeling that friend 1 was pregnant and decided for other friend to straight up ask friend 1 and report back.

I am trying so hard to stay positive but things like this and cd1 just make me scared that I will never get to experience pregnancy, you know?

Ugh.

[raangoli]

Hugs, I am so sorry. I agree with koala that it's sort of nice for her to consider your feelings, but the other friend shouldn't have spilled to you.

I think your plan of a good workout followed by a drink or two and a cry is solid. You have to let it out any way possible.

[ginkgoleaf]

I'm sorry. I think your plan for tonight sounds like a good one, hope it helps you feel better, at least temporarily.

[preppy]

Soooo many hugs. I totally know how you feel. One of my sisters is due next week and I have friends who are all pregnant right now and while I am happy for them it's so hard to be surrounded by it all. I have had a margarita at lunch today and am now drinking wine, I hope your vodka tonight helps. Thank god for Fridays and liquor!!

[miamigirl]

Oh Shauni! Completely understandable, I know exactly how you feel, it sucks.

Go get all the vodka. Hugs

[shauni27]

gym and vodka helped. as did a chat with my husband. I feel cautiously optimistic that we WILL get pregnant on our own, it just might take awhile. And while it might cost an arm and a leg (and take a long time) I am sure we will be parents one day.

Thanks, all, for the support.

[awick14]

((Hugs)) this journey truly sucks for some of us and I'm sorry your on the "sucks" side.

[oneslybookworm]

((shauni27))

[achi]

I'm so sorry. I'm in HR and a coworker came into my office and told me she would be taking mat leave in June. I was NOT expecting that. It was hard.

[belle55]

Ugh, I'm so sorry and I know how you feel. You can always vent here. I try to just focus on things I can enjoy now since I'm not pregnant - like alcohol, sushi, hot yoga, etc.

[aprilsails]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Take some time for yourself so you can get used to it. I'm sure you are incredibly frustrated and I'm so sorry. I just about lost it when the same week I had an early miscarriage from a chemical pregnancy my stepsister mentioned at dinner that she had just peed on a stick that day and was pregnant. It's such a punch to the gut.