Team Green?

[Alwaysabridesmaidf]

Nov 19, 2014 19:50:16 GMT -5 centralsquare said:

Nov 19, 2014 18:40:47 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

See, these types of comments are exactly what I'm referring to. 

Buying a newborn a pink onsie, or having a girly nursery is not foisting stereotypes into her, or "buying into" gender roles. She's a fucking infant who won't know the difference.

I promise we aren't expecting her to only learn to cook and vacumn, she will still be encouraged to play with what are considered "boy" toys, do sports, and as the daughter of an academic the highest emphasis will be placed in education over "being a princess" just because we are indulging the "girliness" right now because of our excitement over having a girl doesn't mean she is doomed to only fit certain gender roles in the future.

Wow. Defensive much? My choices aren't about you. If you love princesses and pink, go for it. 

That said if you're such "an academic," you'll know that this kind of social conditioning has an effect from a very early age. Of course an infant being dressed in pink doesn't know a difference. But cumulatively, the messages our society sends to girls are damaging. I'm consciously avoiding being part of that problem, to any extent that I can. That doesn't mean I wouldn't buy adorable pink bows or tiaras if I want them, but I am acutely aware of the limited choices in clothing and toys for girls. I know I'm a drop in the bucket, but can make a statement with how I choose to spend my money. And collectively, many voices can make a much louder statement. Maybe one day, we won't have sexist shit like this:



More on the subject, for anyone who is interested: www.salon.com/2011/11/21/the_war_over_sexist_onesies

Wow. This popped up on my feed. You say you don't judge others for their choices but this reads as extremely judgey. I love pink, I love cars, I love football, I love getting my hair and nails done, I love reading. I don't fit in a box, and my daughter, despite her "pretty like mommy" onesie won't either. Your statements seems to want to put her in one though. It will be how we raise her that defines her. Not her clothes or toys.

[nextbigthing]

It never even crossed my mind to not find out.

I hated waiting the 10 days after the Panorama test at 11w3d to find out he was a boy.

I have total respect for the team greeners but there's no way I could do it.

[krystee]

I see definite reasons to be Team Green and definite reasons to find out. For me, pregnancy seemed like it was stretching out interminably before me and finding out helped break up the long wait with some fun news. Also, I love decorating and had different nursery ideas for a boy or girl (neither involved pink or blue, actually, but I suppose I am still boxing my child into gender stereotypes...oh well. First of many ways I will damage him, I suppose!).

[centralsquare]

Nov 19, 2014 20:09:25 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

Well, I'm not the academic I was referring to, but if your version of empowerment is to try to call other women stupid, I think I will take my chances with girly onsies.

I'm sorry if you feel stupid, but I certainly didn't call you that.

[Poppy]

I have made "pink princess crap" comments and I stand by them.

First of all, it's simply not my aesthetic. Partly because I've become very intentional about how I "display" my own gender identity - I think that "pink and girly" would be damaging to me professionally and does not communicate how I want to be treated personally.

I absolutely think that the cumulative effects of the gender messages that we send have an impact on things like whether our girls go into the sciences. And maybe my infant has no idea what he or she is wearing, but my friends' kids will see those messages (heck, my own friends and family will see those messages). My own kid will also see pictures from babyhood and it will affect his or her sense of identity. So I feel obligated to at least try to avoid perpetuating damaging stereotypes, and yes, from day one.

[roo54]

To me, I had this image in my head of DH telling me "It's a...." right after birth, and having that moment be perfect. With my first, I also didn't want people to buy a bunch of pink/blue for shower gifts, knowing that we would likely have at least one more kid. I didn't want to have to go out and buy all those clothes again so the second kid could wear them. I have no problem at all having DD in all pink now, but I also still try to buy some clothes that could work for a boy if this baby is a boy. That, however, is getting harder and harder to do!

With this kid, I kind of want to know, but I think knowing how much it bothers my MIL not to know is going to stop me from finding out. It drives her insane.