Post by rosesandpetals on Nov 20, 2014 20:14:35 GMT -5
First thing this morning while most of the students were getting settled in their lockers and the classroom, a student came in and started getting very upset about her brother's homework. I have both of them as students but they're not in the same class. So anyway, I told her I wouldn't discuss anyone else's homework with her and she started getting worked up and saying I "had to" because it's her brother and it reflects poorly on her and demanded his homework again. I told her, "Okay, you have my answer, no, so go and sit down and get ready for the day." She put her hands on my shoulders and shoved me backward. I said, "Okay (name), you're done, go to the principal's office now." She ran to the back of the room and started yelling about how much she hates me so I called the principal and she came in and got her.
The girl spent the day in the principal's office because her mother couldn't come get her for some reason. I was still there at 4:30 this evening so when her mother finally came to get her, the principal called my room and asked me to come to the office because her mother wanted to see me. As soon as I walked into the office her mother said, "So you're the bitch who put her hands on my daughter?" We went into the office and the girl went on this whole tale about how I attacked her and twisted her arm. I told her what happened and her mother said she didn't believe me and threatened to call the police. I told her that was her choice and she left, yelling stuff the whole way down the hall and out the front door. The girl is suspended for 5 days.
The kids I work with now that I started this new job have a lot of problems. I knew going into it that that would be the case but I didn't really realize the extent of it. Anyway, this girl has a horrible home life. Like, truly awful. I completely, 100% understand why she acts the way she does and I know she lied about me hitting her because she was probably trying to save herself from hell at home. The principal said they've had problems with the mother for years and years and not to worry about it because she likes to come in and scream any chance she gets. I mean, of course there were other students in the room and the principal spoke to several of them, it is obvious the girl is lying but still, being accused of hitting a student is a serious thing.
I don't know. I've never worked with kids like this before. I didn't realize how bad things would be here. Tomorrow, there are 7 kids in the 4th grade suspended, 2 of them are suspended for 10 days for stuff that happened today. Ugh. This day has been awful.
I'm so so sorry Roses! I have no words. I cannot believe that!
Will you still have her in your class when she returns? I would make sure she has a different teacher.
Yes, I will have her for 2.5 hours a day between homeroom, math, and science. This whole experience has been so insane. I mean, I really don't have another word for it.
Post by chatterbox on Nov 20, 2014 21:19:26 GMT -5
This is a 4th grader? Maybe this is taken more seriously at the high school level, but if a student pushed a teacher in my school he/she would be suspended (sent to an alternative site) for several months. I teach in a pretty "rough" school and I have never had a student put his/her hands on me. I would not be okay with having her back in my class. Is there another teacher that could take her? So sorry this happened to you.
Post by rosesandpetals on Nov 20, 2014 21:26:13 GMT -5
My understanding is that it is very difficult to do that sort of thing when a student has a behavior iep. They aren't considered responsible for their actions the way other students are. But yes, she is a 4th grader.
I don't like the way this was handled but other things have made me really, really regret taking this job.
Holy crap! I'm so sorry. I have no advice, but this is another reminder to me that teachers are a special kind of people. Handling situations like that with poise take a special talent.
Post by chatterbox on Nov 20, 2014 21:38:49 GMT -5
Hopefully mandated counseling is part of her IEP. If you do have to have her back in your class, I would request to have a meeting with her and her counselor before she is back in your class to have a plan in place for when she feels like things are going to escalate. I've had ED students keep journals in my room so they could write down their feelings or you can make arrangements for her to go to another adult that she has a good relationship with or let her go get a drink of water when she needs to cool down. I know how hard it can be to work with a really ED kid. Just know you are doing your best and celebrate the small victories.
She has an IEP, but you have the right not to be assaulted in your class. Go to your union, ASAP especially because the girl is telling a different story.
My understanding is that it is very difficult to do that sort of thing when a student has a behavior iep. They aren't considered responsible for their actions the way other students are. But yes, she is a 4th grader.
I don't like the way this was handled but other things have made me really, really regret taking this job.
It shouldn't limit whether or not her schedule is changed, unless you are the only teacher qualified to teach what she needs. I agree with Rora, talk to the union. If nothing else as a precaution since she is accusing you of hurting her.
My understanding is that it is very difficult to do that sort of thing when a student has a behavior iep. They aren't considered responsible for their actions the way other students are. But yes, she is a 4th grader.
I don't like the way this was handled but other things have made me really, really regret taking this job.
It shouldn't limit whether or not her schedule is changed, unless you are the only teacher qualified to teach what she needs. I agree with Rora, talk to the union. If nothing else as a precaution since she is accusing you of hurting her.
Yep. I would check in with your union rep. Also, if you didn't already write down exactly what happened, in detail, do it now. Including the names of all of the students who were witnesses.
I am so sorry. This doesn't sound uncommon to me, but then again behavior kids are the ones I teach.
First you are direct with a BIP which I am assuming she has it is very difficult to prove the behavior wasn't a functions the disability. However. That only means this child still has to be served in an educational setting that meets her needs, not your classroom. It sounds like she needs behavior class. Get a copy of her BIP and see what it says. Removal to my room was always on my kids.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this being physically attacked by a student never gets easier.
I have no advice about the union stuff we don't have them.
Two years ago my mom (she's a TA) had a 2nd grader tell her he was going to come to her house in the middle of the night, stab her with a knife in the vagina, and set her on fire. Said child was also implicated in the deaths of several neighborhood pets. He has since been institutionalized.
Post by rosesandpetals on Nov 21, 2014 19:35:39 GMT -5
Thanks everyone. I'm hoping everything is resolved now. It's a really shit situation because I'm the only math teacher for their grade. Of course, there are others licensed to teach math, it just isn't ideal. Basically, there are 3 options, she can come back into my room, she can take 2 english classes and do math during one of them, or she can miss all her specials and do math during that time. AG, I asked about having her go to the IS room but apparently they have a policy about being fully inclusive and they won't pull her in there as part of her schedule because of behavioral issues (which IMO is BS -- the girl has an IEP, the Intervention Specialist is trained with that far and beyond what I am). Anyway, hopefully the mother cooled off and it won't cause problems for me.
DH was all about me quitting immediately, though. We have a lot going on between us and he's not thrilled about adding a stressful and (what he thinks is) unsafe job into the mix. I can tell he is really biting his tongue, lol.