When were you ready to start dating?

[BioNerd]

Let me qualify by saying I am NO WHERE NEAR thinking about dating.

A friend and I were talking about it today. I just wondered the average.

[Emerald1486]

I think it was about 6 months after XH moved out that I was ready, but I decided to wait until after the divorce was final, which was only 2 more months

[llh0211]

I thought I was ready about 6 months after leaving.while it wasn't terrible, looking back, I see that I wasn't as ready as I thought. I took a break for a couple months, and I think about a year out was much better.

[achase123]

It's hard to say. Maybe 6-7 months after separation. However I also had a baby in the meantime so that that things on hold a little.

[wampuscat]

9 months after we separated.

[1confused1]

It took me about a year and a half.

[MyName]

Not yet. I've been in my own apartment for 9 months. I'm thinking around the 1 year mark and my actual divorce I'll be ready to put some effort in to dating. We were together for 12 years, so I'm not going to be looking for a relationship for awhile. I love being on my own, but I'm sure I'll be motivated at some point.

[cuddlyevil]

He started right away. I waited six months post-split but really I wasn't really ready then either.

I am now and we split almost a year ago (the Sunday after Thanksgiving will be a year).

[jellymankelly]

I started dating at 6 months out. In hindsight, I wasn't READY until about a year out, and wasn't secure or self assured enough for a healthy relationship until a good 6 months after that. It's like peeling off layers.

[doriswe]

When I *thought* I was ready was much much much sooner than I actually WAS ready. I tried dating a few months out but I was a mess and in no way able to be in a relationship. I think I started really dating at about a year. I took a lot of time to work on me.

ETA: I don't think there is anyone on here who would say "man, I wish I wouldn't have taken some time to heal before I jumped back into the dating pool!"

[Deleted]

Honestly I'm four years out and after several stints still don't feel ready. I had a horrible marriage because I allowed it. I had a lot of work to do in myself and not having men tell me I'm basically a fat ugly piece of Shit has been refreshing. Maybe some day I will meet someone who is nice but it's not a risk I wanna take right bow

[WinterIsComing]

XH moved out seven months ago and the divorce was final a month ago. I have been on a few dates with one guy and while it has been nice to see that dating isn't as scary as I thought it would be, I don't think I am ready to be in a relationship yet. I think it worked out well that the guy is just looking for casual dating right now so I will keep seeing him occasionally.

[WinterIsComing]

Nov 20, 2014 21:40:33 GMT -5 doriswe said:

ETA: I don't think there is anyone on here who would say "man, I wish I wouldn't have taken some time to heal before I jumped back into the dating pool!"

That is pretty exactly what my therapist said. I think it is good advice!

[Deleted]

Around 6 months after I filed.

[Deleted]

I still don't feel ready and it's been 5 years

[jigsy]

I don't know, I am 8 months from separation, 7 since I moved out and I feel like I'm in a good place to date.
I met vegas 3 months ago, and I think the slowness of that has helped...I mean, we were fast with the physical stuff, but the emotional stuff has slowly built. Now when someone asks if I like him, it's a yes instead of a "meh...he's got a great dick".

Growth.

ETA: I do want to say that I feel like my marriage was a little different from a lot of people's because we spent so much time apart due to him being a pilot, and for the last 6 months of our marriage, me being a flight attendant, so I don't feel like it was quite as much of a shock to the system.

[DirtySouth]

For me, dating does not equal a relationship and being ready for one doesn't mean I'm ready for both. I've been separated for over a year and he's been out of the house for six months. I started dating right away, but by dating, I mean meeting lots of people, going out dancing and doing fun things, and having some casual sex.

I'm still spending time having fun and enjoying my freedom. I think I'm just on the brink of being ready to date just one person, but still just casual dating and nothing very serious.

Sent from my HTC One mini

[glitzyglow]

2 years, but I still question it at times. My exH did a number on me, so I take breaks when I feel un-okay with it.

[Deleted]

I waited about 8.5 months after separation. It was more like 5.5 months after he moved out? I think?

I intended just to go on some dates and have fun. And I was more ready for sex than for love, lol. But that's apparently a slippery slope because I met someone really quickly without intending to actually get into a relationship yet at that point. It honestly freaked me out at first, so IDK if I should say I was "ready" for a relationship... but I figured it out and we're still together (over a year later) so no harm was done.

I didn't feel ready at all until I went on vacation and developed a crush. I was really of the mindset "relationships suck!" until I met someone I actually really enjoyed being around. That went nowhere, but it showed me I was ready to entertain the idea of enjoying male company again.

[pinkdutchtulips]

About 10 months after we separated and about 6 weeks after we decided to divorce .... Until then the mere idea of being intimate w anyone scared the living sh!t out of me ...

I've got a FWB and ld text buddy ... That's all I'm capable of right now. Solo parent + no family handy = one very challenging woman to date !

[MauMau]

Around now 9 months? I'm willing to dip toes but I'm not touching tinder or dating sites.

I had two sort of dates 2 months ago? He paid for my dinner and meal both times. So I guess it was a date but we made plans as old friends. Ha!

I'm no where near ready to have sex so no fwb for me. Hopefully, I'm still going to therapy on the regular when I'm at that point. I've had troubles before my ex letting people touch me. So after the mess with him it will take a bit

[tiffany81]

I'm about 7 months post divorce and I'm not ready. I cannot imagine being with someone else yet. I wish I was there. I'm in counseling and told myself I'd evaluate my readiness at the one year mark. I'm not even gong to think about it again for 5 months.

[greysgirl]

I tried going on a date about 3 months after I moved out thinking since the relationship had been over for a long time I was ready. I was definitely not. I cried the whole way home. I tried again 3-4 months later and was ready then.

[hungrycaterpillar]

I started going out with friends and meeting people almost immediately but not sleeping with anyone. It was better for me to be out of the house. I found myself in a relationship five months out and don't have any regrets about doing so. I am happier and healthier than I have ever been.

eta: I am not happier and healthier than I have ever been because of the person I am dating but because for the first time in my life I'm doing exactly what I want and not centering my life around what someone else wants. 

[Deleted]

I was dating about 4ish months after xH and I separated. With exSO, it took well over a year.

[Wanderista]

It was about 6 months after the break up that I started paying attention to online dating but I didn't really go on any dates until about 8 months in and that was half-hearted. I went on dates with guys I felt ambivalent about and I felt numb for a long time. It was slightly over a year after the break up when I hooked up with someone but that was kind of half-hearted too. 

I was honestly surprised to meet and like the guy that I am dating now. That happened less than 2 months after the hook up thing. I was kind of detached in the beginning with this guy but he grew on me. I definitely didn't date enthusiastically.

[abcdefu]

My ex-h's dating is what led to our separation and I ultimately filed for divorce. I thought I was ready 3 months later LOL! Nope! Not even a little bit ready! I started going to counseling and that is where I learned that I was in an abusive marriage. I didn't know because I grew up in an abusive household, so it was normal to me.

I took a good 5 years to find out who I was without someone's influence over me. It took a while. Since my ex-h cheated on me, I had to work through that. I always said that when I was ready to date or to be in a relationship, I never wanted that potential person to pay for my ex-h's actions. In order to ensure that, I had to work really hard in therapy to forgive him and learn that not every guy will do that and to trust (within reason, of course) until he gives me a reason not to trust him.

Wow! That got rambley quick! haha

[bullygirl979]

I thought I was ready 3-4 months after. No way. I took more time off and I was probably truly ready 5-6 months after that.

[Deleted]

I just remembered my first date after we separated, I tripped on a stair and literally fell on my face. And broke my ankle. I think it was a sign.

[starryfish]

I tried after 5 months but I wasn't ready. I started dating then 1.5 years later and was ready