I'm having a bit of a post partum tmi set back. It's annoying but my dr can't really do anything about it. I'm done with being uncomfortable.
H stopped at the store on the way home last night without telling me, then when he text to ask if I needed anything from said store, I assumed he was asking if I wanted him to stop, not that he was already there. So I replied "no, just come home now please" He got beer and bagels. Meanwhile we are out of pretty much everything except eggs and milk. Dude at least grab some damn bananas on your way through!
H and I managed to have a civil (albeit very long) conversation yesterday about boundaries, expectations, and stress/emotions. Neither one of us are thrilled, but we've got some boundaries set up. Now I just need to focus on taking care of myself.
Now I just need to focus on taking care of myself.
I plan to remind you of this.
What boundaries did you set? Because I also plan to remind you of those.
You are going to hate me.
I actually really appreciate what you said, and I promise I don't hate you. (Just want to let you know, my H also asks me what boundaries I've set with my parents/family every time I start defending what I have/haven't done...I only offer this information because it might humanize him to the board. I don't think he's wrong to ask me what boundaries I've set.)
The boundaries I've set (with H) involve the time I need to complete my priorities. Work and School. I get up about 8:30, and I'm willing to talk til 9:00. Then I'll work till 1:00. Take a half hour break in which I'm willing to talk. Stop at 6:00. Help make dinner/eat dinner, and then study for as long as I feel I need to. And he told me before I ever applied for grad school that he would support me.
Please do remind me of this. The biggest issue I have is maintaining boundaries with people/family. This is the number one thing I work on in therapy.
SwimDeep I'm glad to hear it. Something else to remember is that you DO NOT owe him an explanation of other boundaries you've set when you're having a conversation with him about boundaries between the two of you. I hope you can get to a place where you feel comfortable setting that boundary too.