Post by Emerald1486 on Nov 21, 2014 9:59:45 GMT -5
I'm probably doing something I said I'd never do...... cosigning. Granted its for my brother and I trust him and know he can afford the payments. I'm only cosigning for him to get a better rate.
I'm probably doing something I said I'd never do...... cosigning. Granted its for my brother and I trust him and know he can afford the payments. I'm only cosigning for him to get a better rate.
No flames. I don't know you or your brother. But, this sounds like the start of a Judge Judy episode.
I'm probably doing something I said I'd never do...... cosigning. Granted its for my brother and I trust him and know he can afford the payments. I'm only cosigning for him to get a better rate.
In June I cosigned a student loan for my older brother for his last semester in a pre-med program. Like you, I trust him and know he can afford the payments....but I've only told my best friend because I know people side eye this.
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on Nov 21, 2014 10:39:17 GMT -5
I work at a church Wednesday night's and my parents watch my kid. The power went out all over the city where this church is and it was closed. Instead of telling my parents or going home, I went to BF's house. Because pizza and sex and a rare night off.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
I'm probably doing something I said I'd never do...... cosigning. Granted its for my brother and I trust him and know he can afford the payments. I'm only cosigning for him to get a better rate.
In June I cosigned a student loan for my older brother for his last semester in a pre-med program. Like you, I trust him and know he can afford the payments....but I've only told my best friend because I know people side eye this.
Yea. My family knows I am, because it would have been either me or our brother signing for him. He's lived with me for 2.5 years now. But my siblings are the ONLY ones I'd even consider it for. I used to say I wouldn't even sign for them...and back then I wouldn't. But now they are smarter and more mature. Still refuse to sign for anyone else.
FFFC; I saw xhs new gf yesterday and I actually thought she was really pretty. I truly wanted to walk by her and say "good luck honey, you're going to need it". But i didn't. Only thing I could fault her on is not having a job since she was with him in court at 10:15 on a Thursday but maybe she works nights, idk.
P was complaining that he doesn't feel well this morning but I have a meeting at 10 and I hope he can stick it out until then. Plus I'm behind from being gone yesterday. It sucks having to keep going to court 3.5 hours away when xh is the only one who lives over there.
Reading the ready to date thread made me wince a little bit. I'm probably not as ready as I think I am, but I'm doing it anyway. I was also separated for 6 months last fall into this last spring so maybe that was a warm up. Or maybe I'm just a cold-hearted slutty slut, lol.
Going to kickboxing and working out again is making me excessively vain about my body.
Me too - I feel like most people would tell me it's too soon but I feel like I'm doing okay right now so I'll keep doing it. I'm okay with being single but it has been nice to have someone to hang out with who likes me and to hook up with. I'm fully prepared that I might crash and burn but I'll deal with it when that happens.
I hung out with Tux last Saturday before my date. We went to a local cider taproom. It was fine to see him and we talked a bit about his gf. I feel sad for him. He has no life with her bc she works weekends. He's so social and said she's the kind of person who he can't take to places because she has to be babysat all night. I mentioned his big winter ball and he said, "Oh she has to work but that's not her type of thing anyway". Makes me sad for him because that's a huge event that he outs on every year.
He's like a lost puppy. Half the time he was trying to chat up the owners/cider maker to make connections for his newest "venture" of making cider, or something. I felt so good after seeing him because it reminded me of who he really is and that I'm not missing out not dating him.
Reading the ready to date thread made me wince a little bit. I'm probably not as ready as I think I am, but I'm doing it anyway. I was also separated for 6 months last fall into this last spring so maybe that was a warm up. Or maybe I'm just a cold-hearted slutty slut, lol.
Going to kickboxing and working out again is making me excessively vain about my body.
Nope. Regardless of when you choose to have sex or where you are in your emotional development, you are not a slut.
Reading the ready to date thread made me wince a little bit. I'm probably not as ready as I think I am, but I'm doing it anyway. I was also separated for 6 months last fall into this last spring so maybe that was a warm up. Or maybe I'm just a cold-hearted slutty slut, lol.
Going to kickboxing and working out again is making me excessively vain about my body.
Me too - I feel like most people would tell me it's too soon but I feel like I'm doing okay right now so I'll keep doing it. I'm okay with being single but it has been nice to have someone to hang out with who likes me and to hook up with. I'm fully prepared that I might crash and burn but I'll deal with it when that happens.
I think this is something that is going to vary SO MUCH by the individual. I think as long as someone isn't dating out of a "need" to have someone to prevent loneliness/make you feel good about yourself/take care of you/scared to be alone, and you're not home crying over your XH or hanging onto hope your marriage isn't actually over... it's probably fine to date. I fully agree with the idea of working on yourself and becoming a whole person, but I'm not convinced that's something you can't do while in a relationship. I also don't think every person who ends a marriage has a ton of work to do in that area. Some people really lose themselves in a relationship, and some are really independent already and don't need as long to focus on learning who they are because they already know.
Reading the ready to date thread made me wince a little bit. I'm probably not as ready as I think I am, but I'm doing it anyway. I was also separated for 6 months last fall into this last spring so maybe that was a warm up. Or maybe I'm just a cold-hearted slutty slut, lol.
Definitely not a slut because you choose to have sex when you want to.
Me too - I feel like most people would tell me it's too soon but I feel like I'm doing okay right now so I'll keep doing it. I'm okay with being single but it has been nice to have someone to hang out with who likes me and to hook up with. I'm fully prepared that I might crash and burn but I'll deal with it when that happens.
I think this is something that is going to vary SO MUCH by the individual. I think as long as someone isn't dating out of a "need" to have someone to prevent loneliness/make you feel good about yourself/take care of you/scared to be alone, and you're not home crying over your XH or hanging onto hope your marriage isn't actually over... it's probably fine to date. I fully agree with the idea of working on yourself and becoming a whole person, but I'm not convinced that's something you can't do while in a relationship. I also don't think every person who ends a marriage has a ton of work to do in that area. Some people really lose themselves in a relationship, and some are really independent already and don't need as long to focus on learning who they are because they already know.
Here is the deal, though-People who are codependent RARELY think they are codependent. SO many people think they are ready to date and doing it for the right reasons, and then it turns out they so weren't ready and were using dating as a Band-Aid for the pain. I don't think there is a solid time frame, and I have no issue with people CASUALLY dating for fun. It's when you jump into a relationship immediately after (but it is totally cool, because your marriage was over long before it was over) that worries me.
I think this is something that is going to vary SO MUCH by the individual. I think as long as someone isn't dating out of a "need" to have someone to prevent loneliness/make you feel good about yourself/take care of you/scared to be alone, and you're not home crying over your XH or hanging onto hope your marriage isn't actually over... it's probably fine to date. I fully agree with the idea of working on yourself and becoming a whole person, but I'm not convinced that's something you can't do while in a relationship. I also don't think every person who ends a marriage has a ton of work to do in that area. Some people really lose themselves in a relationship, and some are really independent already and don't need as long to focus on learning who they are because they already know.
Here is the deal, though-People who are codependent RARELY think they are codependent. SO many people think they are ready to date and doing it for the right reasons, and then it turns out they so weren't ready and were using dating as a Band-Aid for the pain. I don't think there is a solid time frame, and I have no issue with people CASUALLY dating for fun. It's when you jump into a relationship immediately after (but it is totally cool, because your marriage was over long before it was over) that worries me.
Yeah - I agree. It always worries me when I hear of people (not necessarily here, people IRL too) that bounce right into a new relationship with a very short break in between. I think at least a few months is probably necessary to kind of get to a good place in your head... even under the best circumstances, divorce is a big deal.
Yeah - I agree. It always worries me when I hear of people (not necessarily here, people IRL too) that bounce right into a new relationship with a very short break in between. I think at least a few months is probably necessary to kind of get to a good place in your head... even under the best circumstances, divorce is a big deal.
Less than 6 weeks after moving out of my house, and after like 3 weeks of meeting her - my exH was FB status new relationship with his now current wife. LOLz for days, man. He's the definition of codependency. It's one reason why it's such a hot button issue for me.
Eek! Yeah, that's WAY too fast.
My sister's best friend is in the middle of a divorce, and she started dating basically right away too. IDK if she has a boyfriend or is just casually seeing someone, but it worried me too. I had talked to her a bit on FB while she was deciding to divorce, and she was very "if only he wanted to make it work, I don't want to have to end my marriage, I wish there was some way to work things out but I am realizing he's not going to change...". To me that doesn't sound ready AT ALL to be focusing on the next person. I feel like you have to accept what happened in your marriage and feel good about being divorced before dating.
I think she's freaking out because she wants kids and she's 33 or something like that. It concerns me
IDK if this is flammable. So in the thread about being ready to date last night, I mentioned that I realized I was ready to start dating when I met someone on my vacation that I really enjoyed being around. He was actually my first kiss AND first crush after my divorce, and while it didn't turn into anything more (we live in different countries, for one) he was a really nice guy.
I had a dream last night that I was dating him and thought he was really great. Today I feel like sending him a message and saying hello. NOT in any sort of dating/romantic way - I am very happy and committed to my BF and would choose him over this other guy 100 times over. But I did have a good connection with the vacation guy in a friendship sort of way, too, and I feel like knowing him had a positive impact on my life and I'm curious how he's doing and what he's up to. I'm not sure if that's appropriate or not. I think my dream muddled things since it made me think of him in the dream in a way I wouldn't otherwise think of him at this point.
My sister's best friend is in the middle of a divorce, and she started dating basically right away too. IDK if she has a boyfriend or is just casually seeing someone, but it worried me too. I had talked to her a bit on FB while she was deciding to divorce, and she was very "if only he wanted to make it work, I don't want to have to end my marriage, I wish there was some way to work things out but I am realizing he's not going to change...". To me that doesn't sound ready AT ALL to be focusing on the next person. I feel like you have to accept what happened in your marriage and feel good about being divorced before dating.
I think she's freaking out because she wants kids and she's 33 or something like that. It concerns me
That's exactly what my friend is doing and it really worries me. She separated from her XH about 15 months ago and is almost engaged to her new boyfriend. They started dating about two months after she left her XH and he was still in limbo with his now XW. She has said multiple times that she is worried about being too old to have kids (she's 35).
They just bought a house together and are talking about getting married in a couple months. He is a great guy but neither seem to have really dealt with the issues from their marriages. I have expressed my concern but at this point she is an adult and is going to do whatever she wants. At this point, the only thing to do is to support her but it still concerns me
hmmm...flamefuls...I guess it is flameful to say that I don't think all MLM's are bad. I mean, a lot of the products I use are Arbonne, because they are good quality, cruelty-free, and a lot more natural than a lot of other options. I would totally buy it from a store if that were an option, but it's not.
I have to wonder if all the hate is really due to the products. I think the idea of "easy money" appeals to idiots, so that is who often sells the stuff, but the actual successful people don't see it as easy money and are not the ones hunting you down on facebook or whatever.
I don't sell it, I have no desire to because it is not my wheelhouse, but I think the outright hate for a product simply because it is sold through MLM is silly.
So I applied to a job that would be nearly a 1.5 hour commute, so I would totally move once my lease was up to be closer to work. It may have crossed my mind that Vegas also works in the same area, and wouldn't that be so convenient if we both moved down to that area...
So yeah, I may have thought about the HYPOTHETICAL moving in with someone I can't even have DTR talk with. Trust...it's totally not the "plan" but even I was like whoa, Jigs, check yourself before you wreck yourself. LOL
Post by cuddlyevil on Nov 21, 2014 12:49:34 GMT -5
jigsy, I have more issue with the irritating sales tactics. The only one I have a major issue with is the essential oils. But that is mostly because someone had the balls to tell a woman in the infantile scoli support group I belong to that if my friend gave her kid a certain blend of oils it would cure the kid's scoliosis.
Yeah - I agree. It always worries me when I hear of people (not necessarily here, people IRL too) that bounce right into a new relationship with a very short break in between. I think at least a few months is probably necessary to kind of get to a good place in your head... even under the best circumstances, divorce is a big deal.
Less than 6 weeks after moving out of my house, and after like 3 weeks of meeting her - my exH was FB status new relationship with his now current wife. LOLz for days, man. He's the definition of codependency. It's one reason why it's such a hot button issue for me.
My BFF left her H and moved to Cali at the end of January (a few years ago). By Valentine's day her XH had a serious GF. They were engaged a few months later and married the following July.
Don't get me wrong, I like his new wife and they seem very happy together. But BFF and I are just patiently waiting for this marriage to crash and burn just like theirs did because he made NO attempt to figure out his own role in the dissolution of his first marriage. He just dismissed and blamed it all on BFF because "she left him." It takes 2 to tango and he is pretty much doomed to repeat his mistakes with wife #2.
jigsy, I have more issue with the irritating sales tactics. The only one I have a major issue with is the essential oils. But that is mostly because someone had the balls to tell a woman in the infantile scoli support group I belong to that if my friend gave her kid a certain blend of oils it would cure the kid's scoliosis.
But is that the product? Or the nitwit selling it? I mean, it sounds like this person would probably say stupid shit, whether they were selling something or not. I imagine most EO people also think vaccines cause autism and shit.
My own FF: I am secretly hoping that when it comes time to find my own place (after I find a new job) that BF will want to move in together. I'm not saying anything just yet, but his roommate (he lives with a married couple and their 1 year old) is pregnant and due in January. I have a feeling it's going to get crowded pretty quickly around there.
Post by WinterIsComing on Nov 21, 2014 12:58:03 GMT -5
jigsy It's definitely more of the person selling the product. Lots of people think it's easy money and become super annoying to their friends/family trying to pressure them to buy or host parties. Others aren't like that though - I have some friends that sell MLM products who are much more business savvy and aren't annoying.
Even more flameful, I am thinking about applying for a job at the headquarters of an MLM that is based here.
jigsy, I have more issue with the irritating sales tactics. The only one I have a major issue with is the essential oils. But that is mostly because someone had the balls to tell a woman in the infantile scoli support group I belong to that if my friend gave her kid a certain blend of oils it would cure the kid's scoliosis.
But is that the product? Or the nitwit selling it? I mean, it sounds like this person would probably say stupid shit, whether they were selling something or not. I imagine most EO people also think vaccines cause autism and shit.
This salesperson totally believed what she said, she tried to argue with the person in our group--"No, no..it really will!!". It was really sad.
So I applied to a job that would be nearly a 1.5 hour commute, so I would totally move once my lease was up to be closer to work. It may have crossed my mind that Vegas also works in the same area, and wouldn't that be so convenient if we both moved down to that area...
So yeah, I may have thought about the HYPOTHETICAL moving in with someone I can't even have DTR talk with. Trust...it's totally not the "plan" but even I was like whoa, Jigs, check yourself before you wreck yourself. LOL
So I applied to a job that would be nearly a 1.5 hour commute, so I would totally move once my lease was up to be closer to work. It may have crossed my mind that Vegas also works in the same area, and wouldn't that be so convenient if we both moved down to that area...
So yeah, I may have thought about the HYPOTHETICAL moving in with someone I can't even have DTR talk with. Trust...it's totally not the "plan" but even I was like whoa, Jigs, check yourself before you wreck yourself. LOL
Wed night FWB came over. First we went out to dinner and I had the biggest margarita imaginable. Then back home I decided it would be a good idea to keep drinking. I literally blacked out the last part of the night. It was awful the next AM when FWB told me about the stuff we did and I couldn't remember. Sounds like I missed some fun stuff too haha. I just hate the feeling of blacking out and haven't done that in years, I am too old for that sh*t!