liveintheville, I'm guessing I can commiserate with you about our kids this week.
DH went to DD's parent teacher conference last night. He said he spent 20 minutes hearing the teacher talk about all the problems DD is having. All the examples seem to be pretty par for the course for a 4 year old, and not things she does that often at home. DH said he wondered if the teacher got the wrong kid at one point. He said we don't see this stuff at home, and the teacher said, "Oh, so she's a perfect angel then?"
She also didn't give a lot of feedback on how things might change. We're going to do what we can, but we think it's a matter of getting her as much sleep as possible (they didn't do naps at all and just started a 30-minute downtime last month), reinforcing good behavior, and talking to the assistant teacher about her perspective. We think a lot of it might be a case of the teacher getting a "bad class" this year, and DD modeling after the younger kids instead of the older ones (her class skews young this year). God grant me patience, and lots of wine.