We've usually been a "family and friends at the house with pizza and balloons" kind of bday people. Will I traumatize my child to not have a bday party this year? That sounds like it will be exhausting so close to my due date.
(ps - I actually had DS a few weeks early, so I'm nervous about going into labor early this time too.)
On the other hand, I want DS to feel as special as possible considering those next few months will be a shock to him to all of the sudden have a younger sibling (and not be the center of attention all the time.)
My gut reaction is suck it up and have a birthday party for him. Can you recruit someone - DH, your mom, best friend, a sister, ANYONE, to take on the bulk of the work? Maybe go to a community center or Chuckie Cheese or something so it's not in your home? Kids don't care how elaborate it is, but they do often care that it happens. Four is often the first year kids start talking about their birthday parties - has your DS mentioned it at all? Does he know other kids who talk about their birthday parties?
Honestly? Ask him what he wants. Does he want to do something extra special as a family (even though it may be a bit difficult to do with a new baby) and a couple of his friends or does he want to go somewhere and have a bigger party?
My gut reaction is suck it up and have a birthday party for him. Can you recruit someone - DH, your mom, best friend, a sister, ANYONE, to take on the bulk of the work? Maybe go to a community center or Chuckie Cheese or something so it's not in your home? Kids don't care how elaborate it is, but they do often care that it happens. Four is often the first year kids start talking about their birthday parties - has your DS mentioned it at all? Does he know other kids who talk about their birthday parties?
Ditto this. We did a community center party last year & will have one again this year. So much easier than trying to host it at home. Do you have any options in your area?
Is he aware of exactly what day his birthday is? If not, I'd move it to a time that's more convenient. Celebrate a month early or late if need be, but celebrate. DS is really, really into birthdays and would be crushed to not have a party.
Do one a couple of weeks before his birthday and have it catered. 4 is kind of prime time for them to have a party. He may not be traumatized, but they have so much fun at 4.
My brother still mentions I made him miss Saturday morning cartoons the day I was born. I can't imagine if he'd missed a party.
I'd do something to celebrate. I was worried about J's birthday being about a month after my due date with the twins. I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect with twins but I knew I'd be in that nursing non stop time. But I also knew I couldn't short change him because of the girls. We didn't need to create jealousy!
So we had a very small party at the house. It was just us, my sister, my MIL and fil. We ordered pizza, DH baked an elmo shaped cake, and we ordered some elmo plates and cups online and I ran to the dollar store and got 2 elmo baloons. We made a big deal about it with him, he had lots of "elmo" which he loves, and he had a great time with everyone focusing on him for a while. It was absolutely worth it!! I would have really regretted not doing something for him.
Post by dragonfly08 on Nov 21, 2014 13:47:41 GMT -5
DD #1 turned 3 five weeks after #2 was born. I did have a family-only party, about 20-25 people, b/c I didn't want her to feel like she missed out due to the baby. It would have bothered me, too, if I'd done nothing. But I absolutely ordered almost all of the food and didn't go crazy decorating. The fact that her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins were here - and brought presents! - was more than enough for her.
I think this is kid specific, but I would be inclined to have a little party. My 3 year old talks about birthdays every single day and would probably be pretty crushed if we didn't have a party for her at four. But maybe it's not as big a deal to your son?
I would just do something small-ish. DS2 turned 3 a week before DS3 was born. We had a fairly low-key party for him--about 10 kids at a local park, with cake, pizza, and a piƱata.
Post by jeaniebueller on Nov 21, 2014 13:55:26 GMT -5
I'll be the naysayer and say it's not necessary. Buy a cake, get him his favorite meal, maybe invite the grandparents over and call it a day. You could even do something low key like take him to a movie or a bounce house place, etc. You do what you have to do.
Just tell him that for his birthday, you are doing XYZ and leave it at that. He will be fine.
I'll be the naysayer and say it's not necessary. Buy a cake, get him his favorite meal, maybe invite the grandparents over and call it a day. You could even do something low key like take him to a movie or a bounce house place, etc. You do what you have to do.
Just tell him that for his birthday, you are doing XYZ and leave it at that. He will be fine.
LOL, you're agreeing with us, not naysaying.
We're not saying that if you don't Pinterest Party to the nth degree you've failed your kid. I phone in every birthday! It's okay! Just don't pretend it didn't happen at all, or you'll have a very confused and pissed off 4 year old. (My kid would never believe he was 4 unless there was a celebration of some kind.)
I'll be the naysayer and say it's not necessary. Buy a cake, get him his favorite meal, maybe invite the grandparents over and call it a day. You could even do something low key like take him to a movie or a bounce house place, etc. You do what you have to do.
Just tell him that for his birthday, you are doing XYZ and leave it at that. He will be fine.
LOL, you're agreeing with us, not naysaying.
We're not saying that if you don't Pinterest Party to the nth degree you've failed your kid. I phone in every birthday! It's okay! Just don't pretend it didn't happen at all, or you'll have a very confused and pissed off 4 year old. (My kid would never believe he was 4 unless there was a celebration of some kind.)
I skimmed and just saw a few people referencing parties with 10 kids or 20 people, so I was confused
If you absolutely don't want to do a party, can you get away with something else special? "Hey, son, for your 4th birthday, daddy is going to take you to the movies for the first time because you're such a big boy now?" Or something.
I didn't even think of a "family fun day" but that might be a better option for us. There's an indoor waterpark in town, so maybe we'll take him there and then have just the local grandparents over for store-bought cake that night--with balloons. My kid turns LOVES balloons.
I didn't have a party for 10th birthday because my mom was already overdue with my youngest brother. (He was born two days later). She did pick up some fancy pastries at a nice bakery to make me feel special, but that was it. It was fine.
I realize that the younger age will make things harder for your DS. Could you have your H take DS and a friend or two out for a special day while you stay home and rest? That's what I would do.
I did a rent a party at a swim school in town. I was about 29 weeks at the time, albeit with twins, and had no energy to do much but I wanted her to have a fun party. All we had to do was order pizza and cake and bring sodas. I did buy stuff for gift bags (glow sticks, stickers, fruit leather, little harmonicas) and H and DD put them together.
We asked for no gifts, still got a few but it significantly cut down on TY notes.