Vents?

[orangeglow]

I am so tired of being tired!  I've been sick, I'm not sleeping well and I just generally feel blah with the severe change in weather.

And if my MIL says one more time "oh you look tired!  Just wait until baby gets here!" I will slap her.  Not really, but come ON.  

[christy082]

I'm tired of being constipated. I drank prune juice this AM (blech) which then made me nauseated.

Also, why the hell is it so hard for people to RSVP? My mom and MIL are hosting my shower in two weeks. They don't know some of the people invited (family on step MIL's side and such). So I'm trying to help contact people that my mom and MIL don't know. Come on people, the invites went out 4 weeks ago! Today is the last day. Stop being difficult. Grr.

[Deleted]

I'm tired of other people and their comments.

I've struggled (albeit, mildly) with eating disorders in the past. Primarily in college, when I had to start eating every meal in front of people. I didn't eat badly, but I felt like people were judging me and everything I ate. So I ate almost nothing all of Freshman year and lost a bunch of weight. I do not like it when people comment on my food, both good and bad. "Oh that looks so healthy!" affects me just as much as "Really? A muffin?"

I'm also extremely sensitive to people commenting on my wardrobe, as we grew up pretty poor in a HCOL area. I wore a lot of hand me downs and Walmart specials because that's what we could afford. Now I dress myself in the best I can (usually on sale) and work hard to present myself in the best way.

Being pregnant has brought out the worst in people around me, very specifically coworkers. They comment on my food, my wardrobe, even my shoes! This week alone, the following things have been said to me:

-"Should you be wearing those shoes? I mean, your center of balance is off and you could fall! (4" heels, just like I wear every day, and have for probably a decade, and I'm fine in them)
-"Is that healthy for the baby?" (Carrying a cup of coffee, decaf, and a muffin, from the bakery downstairs)
-"Oh honey that shirt isn't fitting you very well right now is it?" (a shirt that's a bit tight around the bump but it's not revealing in any way and still looks fine)
-"Are you taking it easy? You should be taking it easy, maybe don't go to class today?" (standing outside the class at the gym I always go to, modify appropriately, and my doctor is fine with me attending)

That's just this week.

I broke down in tears at my desk today after the food comment. I wish people would just MYOB.

[estrellita]

I just went to look at maternity clothes at a store connected to my work and the choices are horrible! A majority of the shirts look like they are just really loose regular shirts. I don't want to look like a blob! I'll stick to other stores I guess!

[626]

I cannot believe some of the things people say to pregnant women. I'm so sorry @sessalee.
Fortunately, I've been able to escape any unwanted comments.

My vent - this kid doesn't understand that he's supposed to grow out instead of up. My stomach is so squished and I'm having terrible heartburn and vomiting.

[bluelikejazz]

@sessalee - I'm so sorry! People suck. I keep getting "you're not struggling nearly as much as you should be" or "shouldn't you be waddling by now?" Um... Not really sure how to respond to that.

My vent - I want to be able to put my socks on without struggling! I have to half-sit on the bed, pull one leg up, but the sock on, stand up, turn around, and repeat on the other side. It takes like 5x as long! (so 30 seconds instead of 6, but still!).

[stategirl08]

Nov 21, 2014 14:27:32 GMT -5 estrellita said:

I just went to look at maternity clothes at a store connected to my work and the choices are horrible! A majority of the shirts look like they are just really loose regular shirts. I don't want to look like a blob! I'll stick to other stores I guess!

Try Pink Blush Maternity! I've bought 4 shirts from them and they're awesome. Fitted but flattering. And not expensive.

[Deleted]

Nov 21, 2014 15:53:19 GMT -5 bluelikejazz said:

@sessalee - I'm so sorry! People suck. I keep getting "you're not struggling nearly as much as you should be" or "shouldn't you be waddling by now?" Um... Not really sure how to respond to that.

My vent - I want to be able to put my socks on without struggling! I have to half-sit on the bed, pull one leg up, but the sock on, stand up, turn around, and repeat on the other side. It takes like 5x as long! (so 30 seconds instead of 6, but still!).

Thank you:)

My response to the waddling comment is 'I am not a penguin, I don't waddle.' Hopefully this remains true.

[katie80]

Hugs, @sessalee. I'm so sick of the comments too- last week I had someone ask if it "feels weird carrying around all that extra weight." WTF.

Not that it matters because that would be rude no matter what, but I've only gained about 15 pounds, and it's all in my belly. My doctor's happy, I'm measuring right on track and so is the baby, and most importantly- this is not your business, random rude crazy friend! Ugh.

[estrellita]

Ugh @sessalee why can't people just keep their thoughts to themselves? People are just horrible, I'm sorry you're dealing with that *hugs*

[MrsAggie]

((Hugs)) @sessalee. I don't know why people feel like they have a say on anything once a woman is pregnant.

I brought a toaster from sonic for lunch one night and the L&D charge nurse came in to make coffee and was like oh that's healthy. She's really sweet but wtf? I also drink 1-2 cans of diet coke a day because I work night shift and I need caffeine. People are always like, "Should you be drinking that?" Well, it's none of your business but my doctor has said it's okay.

Even my good friend who didn't know she was pregnant until HOURS before she gave birth and broke every rule of pregnancy including drinking heavily asked if I should be drinking diet coke. I just looked at her and was like really? Then she laughed and said nevermind, you're right.

[Deleted]

Thanks you guys. I am just going to have to ramp up the responses, find something that isn't downright bitchy but does let them know what they are saying is wrong.

[Monica Geller]

@sessalee ((HUGS))  

I can't remember if I told this story here or not, but a couple weeks ago after I announced publicly my pregnancy, a co-worker came up to congratulate me. After exchanging pleasantries, she said "well I saw you across the building the other day and thought, gee Monica's either getting fat or she's pregnant. I'm glad to hear you're pregnant!"  ^o) Who says that?!?!


This week was a clusterfuck on so many levels. I'm just glad it's over. 

[Deleted]

Nov 21, 2014 19:52:15 GMT -5 Monica Geller said:

@sessalee ((HUGS))  

I can't remember if I told this story here or not, but a couple weeks ago after I announced publicly my pregnancy, a co-worker came up to congratulate me. After exchanging pleasantries, she said "well I saw you across the building the other day and thought, gee Monica's either getting fat or she's pregnant. I'm glad to hear you're pregnant!"   Who says that?!?!


This week was a clusterfuck on so many levels. I'm just glad it's over. 

I'm going to quit my job and open up a Preggo PR firm. Teach people how to communicate properly with pregnant women. Inform the general public about actual pregnancy safety concerns vs. perceived concerns. 

I just do not understand what it is about pregnant women that makes others lose their ability to operate within social norms.

[orangeglow]

Nov 21, 2014 20:06:57 GMT -5 @sessalee said:

Nov 21, 2014 19:52:15 GMT -5 Monica Geller said:

@sessalee ((HUGS))  

I can't remember if I told this story here or not, but a couple weeks ago after I announced publicly my pregnancy, a co-worker came up to congratulate me. After exchanging pleasantries, she said "well I saw you across the building the other day and thought, gee Monica's either getting fat or she's pregnant. I'm glad to hear you're pregnant!"   Who says that?!?!


This week was a clusterfuck on so many levels. I'm just glad it's over. 

I'm going to quit my job and open up a Preggo PR firm. Teach people how to communicate properly with pregnant women. Inform the general public about actual pregnancy safety concerns vs. perceived concerns. 

I just do not understand what it is about pregnant women that makes others lose their ability to operate within social norms.

I got told in the grocery store parking lot that I looked fat and not pregnant today.  I was parked in stork parking.  I'm 8 months pregnant and wearing a baggy sweatshirt because I had to run out for ONE thing.  I didn't even respond.  I just got in my car and cried.  Today was not a good day for me.

[estrellita]

orangeglow WTF!! I would have smacked that person, who says that?!

[Deleted]

Nov 21, 2014 20:39:26 GMT -5 orangeglow said:

Nov 21, 2014 20:06:57 GMT -5 @sessalee said:

I'm going to quit my job and open up a Preggo PR firm. Teach people how to communicate properly with pregnant women. Inform the general public about actual pregnancy safety concerns vs. perceived concerns. 

I just do not understand what it is about pregnant women that makes others lose their ability to operate within social norms.

I got told in the grocery store parking lot that I looked fat and not pregnant today.  I was parked in stork parking.  I'm 8 months pregnant and wearing a baggy sweatshirt because I had to run out for ONE thing.  I didn't even respond.  I just got in my car and cried.  Today was not a good day for me.

WHO SAYS THAT?

I also just had a tough day with things and cried at my desk for a while. People are so insensitive.

[orangeglow]

*hugs* @sessalee

[estrellita]

Geez, and my "worst" comment so far was just about me "waddling" when really it's my back killing me. I hope my coworkers/friends/family/strangers have more tact than a lot of yours

[MrsAggie]

orangeglow I am so sorry. That person is a freaking horrible human being.

[bk1]

I can't believe some people!!

Hugs @sessalee and orangeglow

[Monica Geller]

orangeglow that lady needs a punch to the vag!

[Deleted]

People don't usually give me a lot of unsolicited advice. I think I appear bitchy. Or I am bitchy. Who knows.

My cousin and a friend were questioning me on FB when I posted sushi. I assured them yes, it's cooked and no tuna nothing from the high mercury list. Which is kind a dumb list by the way--I love seafood and have almost never eaten any of that stuff on the list except the various types of tuna.

[krystee]

I just threw up for the first time in five weeks. I really hope that's a one-time thing.

[yourmother]

Ladies, I'm so sorry about the comments. I posted on ML a few weeks ago how my MIL "knew" Ian having a girl because my backside is getting wider. WTF.

the comments didn't end there. This week, I told my aunt that I'm expecting. Naturally, she was thrilled because we struggled with IF for years. Welp. After the nice chit chat she asked if I was taking care of myself and I said of course. And then she asked in her lecture-y voice, "have you cut out the alcohol???" When I answered yes, she then said, "ok, just making sure." I don't need to tell anyone here how offensive that is and hurtful.

[nmosrob]

((@sessalee)) I have issues with eating, personally and with what people say, I'm always anticipating, and I make myself crazy. What you said about how good comments affect you as much as bad comments, really hit home with me. ((HUGS))

orangeglow, what in the ever loving fuck? I'm so angry for you!

krystee, I hope it's a one time thing!

@kcpokergal & yourmother, the obvious comments like that drive me nuts. What's next, tell me I shouldn't smoke? Uh, gee, thanks for your great advice. STFU.

[yourmother]

Exactly! I realize I'm new at this, but C'mon!!! I'm 37 years old! I think I have the basics covered.

[krystee]

My standby comment when people make a rude remark (I had one so far and she basically said I looked fat, not pregnant) is to cringe and say, "Wow, you sure know how to make someone feel good about herself!" It worked. The woman has been super sweet ever since.

[starburst604]

Nov 22, 2014 13:26:34 GMT -5 krystee said:

My standby comment when people make a rude remark (I had one so far and she basically said I looked fat, not pregnant) is to cringe and say, "Wow, you sure know how to make someone feel good about herself!" It worked. The woman has been super sweet ever since.

This is a great response! I think when people say these awful things, most people are usually too dumbfounded to come up with a good response. I'll need to file that one away just in case.

[felicity]

krystee that is such a great response. I wish I could have used it the other day at my work shower when my boss said I looked great and couldn't tell I looked pregnant other than my belly. Then, being the very logical, straightforward, honest person she is, thought she should throw in that "well, I guess I can see it a little around your face!" and she gestures under her jawline. Then a few of the other women at the table all nodded in agreement gesturing to around their jaws too. I think I just sat there and looked stunned and cried a little on the inside.

I've mentioned it on the board here before, but I'm just so tired of everyone I see commenting on how I look, even the positive comments. I work from home and can go days at a time without seeing anyone but my husband, and I sometimes dread going out to see people, even my own mom, because of the comments.