Jack's Pick-Up line mini conferences, Part III

[scattered]

You guys. 

So today when Jack's teacher was buckling him in, she told me he put his scissors in his mouth. She then said she thinks his constant need to put things in his mouth is stress related and she's worried about him in Kindergarten, with a class 2-3x bigger than what he is in now. Then she said we'd discuss it at our conference. 

You guys. 

Why does she drop these bombs on me?! 

p.s. We know Jack has anxiety, we just started addressing this with his pedi. I blame myself entirely because I have OCD and I feel like he does too and it's all my fault. 

[lovebeingmama]

1. Don't blame yourself for any if it.

2. Her communication methods are inappropriate and I think you need to call and discuss these things with her.

[lexus]

Is she new? She sounds inexperienced. But that it is excusable, I'm just trying to figure out why she would think it was ok. As a high school teacher I realize that but on the other hand, I only hear from Dd's teachers at pick up too. It would rattle me to hear about such serious things as I'm driving. I'm sorry you have to deal with it.

Whose fault is it that you have OCD? Isn't there a possibility that he could have that or something else without any genetic connection? My point is, sometimes kids are just dealt a tough hand. You are doing everything you can by talking to his pedi. Give yourself a break. You are a good mom.

[notreallyirish]

I also have OCD and anxiety and DS1 is definitely anxious as well. I get what you are saying, but it's not your fault. You are also well equipped to help him and get him the help he needs from an early age because you are attuned to it.

[minismama]

Whoa. Not your fault. At all.

And also...is this teacher serious? I would be frustrated..Ugh. In the conference you should be honest and explain that you really don't think carline is a good place to have these bombs dropped. I hate confrontation of all sorts, so I would probably laugh and be like "listen, I go home and stew over what you said and it's tough when I don't have all the information...so whenever you want to tell me something can you just let me know we need to chat, or send an email?"

[penguingrrl]

Not your fault at all. Not even a little. Please don't feel like it is!

This teacher is wildly inappropriate in sharing this stuff on the car line. She sounds incredibly unprofessional.

[auroraloo]

Not your fault.

I don't know that the car line is that inappropriate though. I mean, it's quite possible in her head it's just "I wonder if it's this, I should mention it to mom and dad" not "zomg. This kid has issues and we need tower ASAP".

I would look at it positively that she, a trained professional, thinks there might be an issue but that it's not severe enough to warrant an mediate meeting, just a keep an eye on it and we can talk at conferences.

That's how I would choose to look at it anyway. Just a different perspective.

[scattered]

I think she means well, and she's been teaching there since 1997, so she's definitely not a newbie. Jack really likes her, so I don't think she's bad, I just question her communication style.

In my head I know it's not REALLY my fault he has anxiety, but it's hard to see his sweet little face and his struggles and not feel like he inherited something really shitty from me. KWIM?

[zbeesma86]

I guess I'd be that mom and hold up the pick up line because I'd get out and want to talk to her face to face for more than it takes to buckle my kid in.

Can't believe she did this to you....again!!

[amynumbers]

She needs to pick up a fucking phone and call you. Why would she let so much of the school year go by?

[jnksmom]

I'm sorry you are dealing with that. It is not your fault at all.
This teacher needs to work on her communication skills. Pick up line conversation is for simple things not important "issues". I would email or call and just ask that she communicates that info to you at a different time.

[NandaB]

scattered - I forgot if you told us already, but is his conference coming up? If not can you schedule something sooner? If she does it again before the conference I would just say, in a nice way, "these issues that you keep bringing up in passing seem to be concerning you and i'd love to sit down with you and discuss them when we're not so rushed. Let's make an appt to talk".

I don't think she's being rude or unprofessional, but its a lot of smaller things that are adding up, ya know? You deserve some of her undividied attention to talk about this stuff.

[NandaB]

Also, my kid would totally put scissors in his mouth and I'm pretty sure he has neither OCD or general anxiety. He's just a weird little boy.

Eta: erm...I think that came out wrong. I'm not saying YOUR kid is weird. Mine for sure is though.

[cjcouple]

Don't blame yourself. B's anxiety is also know to be hereditary and I had started to beat myself up over it but there is nothing you can do. Just be proactive and stay on top of it and be patient. he will be fine

[amynumbers]

Oh and another vote for "it's not your fault". I am anxious about everything and DH has his moments too. It puts you in the unique advantage of being able to identify and help your kid much earlier