I would feel terrible if I found out that a friend of mine had been alone on thanksgiving when I could have just as easily included her at my house. I would say something-- I cannot imagine a friend wouldn't include you if she knew you didn't have other plans.
Post by penguingrrl on Nov 22, 2014 11:54:47 GMT -5
I absolutely would, even if it was at my mom's. H and I have long said that if we find ourselves at a University too far to travel home we'll open our home to any students of his who aren't traveling home as well.
Post by RoxMonster on Nov 22, 2014 11:57:41 GMT -5
I'm sorry you are alone on TGiving. I would absolutely ask around.
One year, H and I didn't think we'd be able to get back to our families for TGiving (we live 2 hours away), and while we do have each other, we were hoping some local friends would invite us over to their family's TGiving so it would feel more festive and like a family TGiving. We were able to make it home, but had we stayed, we might have asked around. I say go for it.
Post by miniroller on Nov 22, 2014 12:01:07 GMT -5
After seeing your update, OP, I wanted to add that YES, you should definitely stick some feelers out!! I would be really sad if I hadn't thought about a friend spending the holiday solo in all the crazy prep madness, & I later found out he/she spent the day alone! My family has had extra people (who's family was away, etc.) about 30% of holidays, & it's always been great! Sort of a nice refresher to have an extra person w/ a new story to add from the usual humdrum family talk.
(Not that I'm pressuring you to provide entertainment for your hosts OR saying that I have a really boring family! Just that it's really nice to add a new face sometimes!)
We are actually hosting Friendsgiving this year at our house for all our friends with far away family who can't make it there. (I agree with Msmerymac about Ca and everyone being transplants).
I'm sorry you're alone on thanksgiving. Definitely see if you can find a dinner to crash. We're actually going to one of DW'S coworkers house for today because we have no family here.
I would definitely let my close friends know I didn't have plans. And if that didn't get me an invite, I'd probably host a later dessert at my house for my friends to come to.
But also, you have as much right to days off as the parents do, so don't hesitate to take your turn and go visit your family next year if that is what you want to do.
notsocreepylurker I know you said you have friends that you should ask, but you are more than welcome at our house. Thanksgiving is a good time for new friends as well as old.
ETA: I know this is a bit creepy. I debated posting it or not, but I was alone for Thanksgiving and Christmas one year, and I just wanted to have people around so that I didn't feel so lonely. I remember those feelings well, and don't wish them on anyone else.
Post by delawarejen on Nov 22, 2014 14:57:39 GMT -5
There's no harm in inviting your friend, but they may not accept. It doesn't mean they don't appreciate the offer. I spend Thanksgiving alone every year, because I'm a family of 1. I don't really want to go to someone else's family function, kwim?
There's kind of an undercurrent of "being by yourself isn't good enough" that I get from people sometimes when they say things like "No one should spend holidays alone" with a horrified look on their face. As long as you don't do that, ask away.
I grew up in a military family, am still kind of sort of in one. If we're hosting, we try to find someone to invite. Or people invite us. This year my friend knows I'm working most of the day and has invited us to come over. I'm pretty sure the husband and kids will go over while i'm at work and I'll head over afterwards.
I live near a base and lots of families host the sailors for t day. I think it is awesome.
Post by notsocreepylurker on Nov 22, 2014 21:12:22 GMT -5
Thanks everyone. I have had solo Tday for over 7 years so it is normal for me. Just reading a thread on another board got me questioning if my friends suck for never inviting me (they don't)
Little_Moxie -- I'd drop lots of food for rogue lauralala -- Thanks for the offer. I do really appreciate it. I am OK being alone on Turkey day - I'll probably sleep a lot
I will start dropping hints to friends about Christmas though - I am usually alone then too but don't want to be.
I invited a friend to our Thanksgiving. She's recently divorced, no local family, and her kids will be with her ex-husband. She declined, but I'm glad I asked.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Do your friends know you are alone? If so and they are local, I am not going to say they suck, but it is kind of uncool to not invite. We have a teeny tiny family and would welcome friends, if they were available/interested, to our Thanksgiving. But last year and this year, we're going on vacation, so no entertaining for us. Can you look into a trip on Thanksgiving or Christmas instead? Being the available coworker on the holiday doesn't/shouldn't have to fall on you every year.
Post by orangeblossom on Nov 23, 2014 22:08:14 GMT -5
I'm just now reading this month's Food Network Magazine, and they had a little blurb on inviting friends and strangers to dinner, and talked about this site called Meal.sharing.com and their offshoot ThanksSharing.
The hosts can post their menu and the number of seats, then field requests from prospective diners and pick from there.
For clarification - I am the lonely girl. I've been in Houston for 7 years now and have never been invited to a friend's house for Thanksgiving. I never really thought anything of it - T-day was never a big holiday for me (especially since I don't like potatoes or pie) but reading something on another board made me think maybe I should ask my friends if I could crash their Tday. I guess I always thought it'd be a pity invite - not a real one. But I am not right in the head all the time so I know that's on me.
Invite yourself/ask if you can come. Only 3 out of the 7 years H and I have been together have we had TDay with family. We just make it known among our friends that we have no where to go for that day and get invited. It's been really fun to see how other families celebrate and to get to know new people as well.
Post by mrsukyankee on Nov 24, 2014 4:18:02 GMT -5
I do that every year. And then we have friends who invite us over for Christmas dinner every year because we're not around family who celebrate. I think it's lovely.