Post by cattledogkisses on Nov 24, 2014 11:58:08 GMT -5
We have a 4 hour drive on Wednesday and we're supposed to get a foot of snow. I'm trying to convince H that we need to leave earlier, because a snowstorm will easily turn that drive into a 6-7 hour drive.
I need a black people translation - talking about a dish a made for a work potluck. I put my foot in it. This is a good thing? From context it sure sounded that way, but it...doesn't sound like a good thing.
I went to visit my dad this weekend. I'm going to preface this with I love my dad very much. I just need to vent.
He told me I look desperate having my face as my profile pic on FB. He told me I lost a lot of weight, but just in my face. He tried to bait me into a "discussion" on immigration. To that one I told him we should not discuss these things.
Other than that, it was a great visit.
For some reason the FB one is really bothering me. The only place I post selfies is the MUT. It's just my profile pic. There is nothing suggestive about it. He thinks I'm looking for a man. I have no interest in dating, at all. I just got separated. That is the last thing on my mind.
I need a black people translation - talking about a dish a made for a work potluck. I put my foot in it. This is a good thing? From context it sure sounded that way, but it...doesn't sound like a good thing.
I need a black people translation - talking about a dish a made for a work potluck. I put my foot in it. This is a good thing? From context it sure sounded that way, but it...doesn't sound like a good thing.
GIRL. Do you know how hard it is to find folks who make good dressing? Either that shit is too dry, has too much sage, or is too soupy.
Didn't I give you an Honorary Blackness Certificate already?
I don't think I have one! IS TODAY MY DAY?!?!?
I feel like I need to call up my mama's friend from back home. She's black and lived with us for a while, and we have the same first name. She got a call once from a friend and I answered the phone. Friend goes, "can I speak to [my legal first name]." and I say, "speaking." And she just kinda paused for a second...and while the silence stretched on I said, "OH! you mean [her full name]. Hang on." Went and got her. She picks up the phone and her friend says, "damn girl, I knew you could sound white, but I didn't think you could sound THAT white."
ETA: kicker on that damn dressing is that I totally winged it and I'm not sure I could replicate it.
I think I finally got my mom to actually listen to me last night, and I still have an emotional hangover from it. At least until she starts making excuses to herself again.
My youngest sister is not doing well. In fact, she's heading down the drain so fast I don't know if anything will catch her before she falls through. Alcohol is the devil for my family. It brings so much hurt, and ruins all our lives.
I need a black people translation - talking about a dish a made for a work potluck. I put my foot in it. This is a good thing? From context it sure sounded that way, but it...doesn't sound like a good thing.
GIRL. Do you know how hard it is to find folks who make good dressing? Either that shit is too dry, has too much sage, or is too soupy.
Didn't I give you an Honorary Blackness Certificate already?
I don't think I have one! IS TODAY MY DAY?!?!?
I feel like I need to call up my mama's friend from back home. She's black and lived with us for a while, and we have the same first name. She got a call once from a friend and I answered the phone. Friend goes, "can I speak to [my legal first name]." and I say, "speaking." And she just kinda paused for a second...and while the silence stretched on I said, "OH! you mean [her full name]. Hang on." Went and got her. She picks up the phone and her friend says, "damn girl, I knew you could sound white, but I didn't think you could sound THAT white."
ETA: kicker on that damn dressing is that I totally winged it and I'm not sure I could replicate it.
This certificate is hereby presented to wawa for the successful preparation of Cornbread Dressing which earned her accolades from her esteemed black colleagues. Her dish was so pleasing, that her co-worker stated she "Put Her Foot" in the dressing and it tasted like her mom's. This is a badge of honor because black folks sho' nuff don't eat everybody's dressing.
I think I finally got my mom to actually listen to me last night, and I still have an emotional hangover from it. At least until she starts making excuses to herself again.
My youngest sister is not doing well. In fact, she's heading down the drain so fast I don't know if anything will catch her before she falls through. Alcohol is the devil for my family. It brings so much hurt, and ruins all our lives.
I feel like I need to call up my mama's friend from back home. She's black and lived with us for a while, and we have the same first name. She got a call once from a friend and I answered the phone. Friend goes, "can I speak to [my legal first name]." and I say, "speaking." And she just kinda paused for a second...and while the silence stretched on I said, "OH! you mean [her full name]. Hang on." Went and got her. She picks up the phone and her friend says, "damn girl, I knew you could sound white, but I didn't think you could sound THAT white."
ETA: kicker on that damn dressing is that I totally winged it and I'm not sure I could replicate it.
This certificate is hereby presented to wawa for the successful preparation of Cornbread Dressing which earned her accolades from her esteemed black colleagues. Her dish was so pleasing, that her co-worker stated she "Put Her Foot" in the dressing and it tasted like her mom's. This is a badge of honor because black folks sho' nuff don't eat everybody's dressing.
I just wish I could like this post more than once.
Did anyone watch the AMAs last night? Donnie Wahlberg and Jenny McFuckface were presenters. She is insufferable.
Also, I'm old. I understood none of what was happening during that show.
I think I decided last night that I won't be watching those shows anymore. I didn't know anyone and I was shaking my head at a lot of the performances. I feel bad saying that because I've always been a big defender of any kind of music. Apparently I'm old now though. Lol
I turn 30 this week. That makes me feel old, but I know it's really not! I can't drink more than 2 drinks without getting a hangover. That makes me old.
Post by cattledogkisses on Nov 24, 2014 12:58:36 GMT -5
My sister's doctor told her to go to tanning beds for her SAD. I told her she needs a SAD light and a new doctor. I can't believe that doctors are still recommending that people go tanning (hello, melanoma!!).
Post by cattledogkisses on Nov 24, 2014 13:25:06 GMT -5
You might be able to get away with drastically overdrawing your lips when it comes to photos, but that has to be glaringly obvious in person, especially up close. Right? I don't get it.
Post by sparrowsong on Nov 24, 2014 13:28:58 GMT -5
Whatever junk mail lists I have ended up on clearly think I'm old. It may have started with my subscription to Smithsonian magazine. I really love it for the articles. But the ads, my god the ads. Phones with simple large print numbers... Bathtubs with a little door on the side so you can step in and not step over... Coin collections... Home deliverers oxygen tanks. And there's the catalogues of cougar-wear clothing. And weekly catalogues for river cruise tours in Europe.
... And I hate how much I really want to go on a river cruise through Europe. Until I realize it would be me and a bunch of oldz.
Whatever junk mail lists I have ended up on clearly think I'm old. It may have started with my subscription to Smithsonian magazine. I really love it for the articles. But the ads, my god the ads. Phones with simple large print numbers... Bathtubs with a little door on the side so you can step in and not step over... Coin collections... Home deliverers oxygen tanks. And there's the catalogues of cougar-wear clothing. And weekly catalogues for river cruise tours in Europe.
... And I hate how much I really want to go on a river cruise through Europe. Until I realize it would be me and a bunch of oldz.
I want one of these, but I'm not that old, right, right?
When I have to kneel down to put dirty glasses away or clean the bottom of a refrigeration unit, my legs hurt like fucking hell when I stand up and I have to walk like an old lady for a minute or two to shake it off. I mean really???
Whatever junk mail lists I have ended up on clearly think I'm old. It may have started with my subscription to Smithsonian magazine. I really love it for the articles. But the ads, my god the ads. Phones with simple large print numbers... Bathtubs with a little door on the side so you can step in and not step over... Coin collections... Home deliverers oxygen tanks. And there's the catalogues of cougar-wear clothing. And weekly catalogues for river cruise tours in Europe.
... And I hate how much I really want to go on a river cruise through Europe. Until I realize it would be me and a bunch of oldz.
It's like we're the same person. I'm already planning the river cruise I want to take when I'm 65.
We watch a show with a local chef... and it's occasionally run on a channel that is specifically marketed to retirees.
I've discovered why people want the fridges with the freezer drawer on the bottom. It's so when you have a back problem you don't have to call your husband to dig through the bottom shelf of the fridge to find a beer or some mayo.
I saw commercials for the AMAs and didn't know who any of those people were. I mean I had *heard* of like 2-3 of the performers, but I have no idea what they actually perform.