Would you set boundaries /expectations before hand?

[Deleted]

My parents come in a few weeks and they'll be staying with us for almost 3 weeks. We're also doing a long weekend trip with them.

To my mom's credit she hasn't blatantly and directly asked about kids since July. However, she does drop in little digs to me and she says little things to other people on fb (that I see).

Last weekend she dropped a little dig and I kind of flipped my shit with her. H said I was kind of bitchy, but I'm also tired of the digs.

Do you think this situation warrants an email before she comes to say that our situation has not changed and to keep a pleasant visit that it's best not to talk about kids? And if she does I have no problems checking them into a hotel. Or am I totally over reacting?

H think we keep ignoring and he deflects the comments since I clearly can't keep my cool. I just really don't want to spend the entire time with them being angry because I have missed them and I do want to see them.

Thoughts?

[Deleted]

Personally, I would just set boundaries ahead of time. I consider that "open communication" rather than letting her passive-aggressive digs "slide".

[Deleted]

Urg, this means I need to craft a non bitchy email. Blerg.

[madDawg228]

Three weeks is a long time. If you really don't think you'll be able to ignore anything that might be a dig, I would write an email.

[niq]

I think it's perfectly reasonable for adult children to set boundaries with their parents. Good luck writing the non-bitchy email.

[Deleted]

I think it's fine to set boundaries. It makes me mad that she can't accept your life decisions.

[7costanza]

I would. My H and I set boundaries before our son was born (kind of the opposite of your problem, lol) and it was helpful. We also talked through responses to different situations/comments we thought were likely. 3 weeks is a really long time, good luck!

[fiddles]

Nov 26, 2014 14:55:44 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

Urg, this means I need to craft a non bitchy email. Blerg.

You can do it!

Sent from my SM-G900T using proboards

[toratoratori]

Ditto what everyone else said! Boundaries and expectations are good. Just reiterate that you love them, you're looking forward to their visit, and to make the most out of their time here, you want it to be as stress- and pressure-free as possible. You got this.