Post by notsocreepylurker on Nov 26, 2014 14:54:07 GMT -5
I try to pick tags off an Angel tree this time of year. Last year I got the whole office to adopt a family. This year our office is scattered so I was going to go back to the Angel Tree. A friend from my surgery support group posted on FB that she had a kid in her class whose family needed help. The short story is the family has two 6 year old girls, a 16 year old boy, an 18 year old about to give birth and the mom. They need help with bills, food, clothes, coats, etc.
I decided to give to them instead of picking a name off the Angel Tree this year. I saw my friend last night at our meeting and gave her a gift card for the mom to get groceries - hopefully in time for Thanksgiving.
My friend mentioned she'd have them write a Thank You note and I said that wasn't needed. She insisted they would write one and now I feel uncomfortable. I would rather just be a fellow human who was told someone needed help and helped as best I could.
I don't want to offend anyone (the family or my friend). Do I say Please - no thank you note? Do I just shut up and get over myself?
Is she "making" them write a thank you note, or does the family want to do it on its own? The former makes me very uncomfortable, the latter not so much.
I think the kid in my friend's class will be writing the note (she is 6). But I am not sure.
If she is planning to assign this TY note to the child, I would be pretty forceful with her about not doing so. I realize that she probably believes there is a lesson in there about gratitude, but I find a required TY for something like this unspeakably distasteful. I also think it actually teaches the child the wrong lesson.
I don't know how close you are to this woman, but can you say that your philosophy is anonymous acts of kindness with no thank you required? I'm just thinking that if you put the focus on yourself and say that it makes you uncomfortable, she might back down.
I think the kid in my friend's class will be writing the note (she is 6). But I am not sure.
If she is planning to assign this TY note to the child, I would be pretty forceful with her about not doing so. I realize that she probably believes there is a lesson in there about gratitude, but I find a required TY for something like this unspeakably distasteful. I also think it actually teaches the child the wrong lesson.
I don't know how close you are to this woman, but can you say that your philosophy is anonymous acts of kindness with no thank you required? I'm just thinking that if you put the focus on yourself and say that it makes you uncomfortable, she might back down.
Post by stealthmom on Nov 26, 2014 19:02:25 GMT -5
I would say, "that is very thoughtful but I love the idea of them just enjoying the gift without any thought as to who bought it. I just want the gift to bring joy without any strings attached."
I would not want and would be uncomfortable to receive a thank you note. I would tell your friend "You know, it is so much more fun for me if you tell them it just came from Santa. Everyone deserves some holiday magic" or some such nonsense.
If they're being told to write a thank you note I would be super uncomfortable. If it's done because the family wants to then no problem. If a 6 year old is being singled out and told by her teacher to write a thank you note for an act of charity then that's not the right message to send to the kid (to the whole family really).