Do You Engage on FB?

[orriskitten]

I have a number of acquaintances on FB who are posting some disturbing stuff regarding the Ferguson situation (from the case to the riots and everything in between). These are people who I knew in high school and who I am not in contact with for the most part.

I am debating with myself whether or not I should engage in hopefully conductive debate on FB, if there is such a thing.

Backstory to where this is coming from TL;DR: DH started a "debate" with a guy who responded on my BFF's facebook status. It got a little nasty.

This was the original status: "This decision on #‎Ferguson is weighing really heavily on me and I don't know what to do with all this nervous energy." BFF was upset and had multiple posts about his being distraught after.

The guy who responded to the status " I'm not disagreeing that there very likely existed high racial tension prior to this case but ice got to ask, what was the outcome that the protestor would have been happy with? We are talking about a guy who was trying to take a police officers gun away from him. in what previous case has someone taken an officers firearm and not shot them with it?"

DH is very passionate and got into it with this guy. The guy basically said MB was trying to kill a police officer and justifying the shooting of 6 bullets. DH ended with telling the guy to go to hell, not conductive, but it is what it is. DH was also in touch with BFF before posting- the guy in the argument was an acquaintance who BFF casually knew at college. BFF is the godfather of our children, black and a very sensitive and amazing person. I understand DH defending him and going off on this other guy.

God bless my BFF, his final response was "Hey guys. This is becoming something that far surpasses anything that I would have ever wanted it to be and I'm going to end it here. I respect the both of you and understand that we are not going to agree here. I respect the both of you greatly and I challenge the both of you to take this passion and lets collectively start a dialogue that will lead to change and better world for everyone. You both know I do not see color, more than I see what's in the heart. Let's take this time to be thankful for what's important, family. You are both fathers and I want you to remember that this is the world these children will be reared in. We have a collective responsibility to protect them and show that while we may be different, strangely we are so much of the same. Respect to all. Love to all, and let's raise a glass to life, and our pursuit to be better than we were yesterday."

I am so upset by this whole thing and I see some true ignorance out there on my FB feed. I do not want to unfriend these people because that feels like I am running from the problem. I do not want to engage because it'll mess with my mental state if things go poorly. I want to be an ally, I want to help in some way, but I don't know if this is it.

What do you do? Do you engage? Do you automatically unfriend? Do you scroll quickly by?

Just hoping to open up some discussion here as to what we can do as parents to help in this situation. I feel like these events will shape the world our children will grow up in.

[orriskitten]

Oh, and monkeybabe, the post you made with the article about the protesters protecting the stores brought me to tears and is one of the reasons I wanted to open more discussion. I want to show these ignorant idiots on FB the beauty in the article you posted.

Thanks, this is all your fault.

[creamsiclechica]

Well, I can't engage every person. And there are times if it gets very nasty, for myself, I have to take a step back and really evaluate that relationship.

But as you can see on my facebook, I do engage. As long as it's a relatively respectful debate, I think educating as best I can if a valuable tool.

This is a tough time. It's really hard to see the prejudice and systemic racism all around us. Big hugs, J.

[orriskitten]

Nov 26, 2014 15:25:46 GMT -5 creamsiclechica said:

Well, I can't engage every person. And there are times if it gets very nasty, for myself, I have to take a step back and really evaluate that relationship.

But as you can see on my facebook, I do engage. As long as it's a relatively respectful debate, I think educating as best I can if a valuable tool.

This is a tough time. It's really hard to see the prejudice and systemic racism all around us. Big hugs, J.

Big hugs to you, too, hun. I know how much this hurts your heart and I'm right there with you.

I don't think these people can be educated. I think ignorance is too ingrained in them. I come from a very racist neighborhood and these people are products of that.

Its so frustrating.

[thedahliharpa]

No. I saw a cousin of DH's being given disgusting advice on potty training and that's the closest I've come to unleashing my wrath on FB.

[creamsiclechica]

It does hurt. And I feel just like you, angry, frustrated, and defeated. But the way I look at social media is this, at least from what I've learned, people are watching. And maybe the person you're going in circles with isn't going to change, and maybe they're ignoring you and the fine pints and continuing to rage, but other people you don't even know are watching. Some people you do know and are afraid to speak up are watching too, and it's giving them courage to start a conversation on someone else's status. People who feel oppressed by this are grateful to see a person defending against hate speech and being an ally, even if they don't have the same experience.

I got quite a few messages yesterday of people saying they appreciated seeing people stand out and give hope that things can change. I sent some of those out too.

It's a good thing to speak out, even if it feels fruitless. This is what keeps us moving forward, and that's something to be proud of, sweetie. You and O are raising your kids to be two more people in the world in the right frame of mind. That's important too.

[lauranicole91]

One time I did I got deleted and blocked. And it was over something no where near as serious as a Ferguson debate. If the person posting is someone I don't really care if I never saw on FB again, I might engage. But mostly I keep my mouth shut.

[devonpow]

I read ago of article on this in response to Ferguson. It basically said no one will change anyone's mind on FB. What it can do is lead you to realize who you want to remove from your "friends" list and how you should spend your time making a real change by volunteering/donating/ whatever.

That said, I still engage because things piss me off, lol

[katfco]

Sometimes I do. If it's a person who's close to me who I believe might be open to discussion, I'll engage. If it's a person who's demonstrated a complete unwillingness to consider being wrong, or if it's someone I rarely speak to on day to day issues, no, I leave it alone. Sometimes, like today, I'll make my own post rather than engage with the 40 other inflammatory posts. That way, I can make sure I talk to the people I want to hear from, not someone's crazy whacked-out uncle.

The only times I will definitely engage are if someone is outright lying about the president or if a post has advice that might be dangerous to follow (like "these are the four new warning signs of a stroke!!!" or "don't help people, it's all a gang initiation thing!!1!"). Those are the times I'll hit Snopes as fast as possible.