Say a prayer...update in post

[onehitwonder]

I'm so sorry. Some people can be so insensitive.

[TrudyCampbell]

(((Hugs)))

[katie]

Wow, she has some fucking nerve. I hope your H put her in her place. (Hugs)

[laurensmomma]

I'm so sorry they treated you like that. You don't deserve it, and I hope your husband sticks up for you.

[jsillyfun]

Fuck that bitch. I'm raging for you. So many hugs.

[jamaga2583]

Huge hugs, sallyowens. That's not cool at all. I'm sorry

[dojo]

I'm sorry to say this, but they sound like truly awful people. I'm sure they have some redeeming qualities since they had a hand in your DH, but I'm furious at them for being so terrible and insensitive to you. It's despicable.

[melmon0417]

Not okay, at all. I am so sorry they are treating you this way.

[sallyowens]

Nov 27, 2014 21:53:37 GMT -5 careyalis said:

Nov 27, 2014 20:51:22 GMT -5 sallyowens said:

I am raging! SIL texted my H to complain about my quietness at Thanksgiving. I pretty much lost it on my H. He knew I didn't feel up to being there, but attempted to compromise by going for an hour. I'm so, so upset that she stirred things up this way. I feel like she could have/should have extended some grace to me today knowing that I'm grieving. She knows what this feels like as she lost a baby too and SO much kindness was extended to her while she was first mourning. She never even texted me this week say sorry for our loss or anything. I should have stayed home. I think I have cried a thousand tears tonight.

I'm so sorry that she caused you pain. Our loss didn't even make the family prayer and it really hurt my feelings. Jeff excuses it because it makes people uncomfortable, but I don't think it is excusable. Family especially should be able to show a little compassion or at least acknowledge that something is wrong. I love you and I hope your night is better. I wish we could drink wine together and braid each other's hair! I also have white chocolate covered Oreos that we could binge eat while watching sappy Christmas movies

Eta: my language got a little colorful so I cleaned it up a bit

Hugs, Carey. I'm sorry J's family didn't acknowledge your loss in their prayer. It really stings when family doesn't acknowledge it. My H is the same way and sort of plays it off as people not knowing what to say, but I just think you say SOMETHING...I'm sorry is pretty much always appropriate. Ugh. I wish we were closer and could drink fishbowl sized glasses of wine and eat those Oreos together!!! So much love to you.

[sallyowens]

Thanks, everyone. I'm still really upset over what happened...particularly my bratty SIL, but I guess it should come as no surprise. We've never been close. H's family is extremely competitive and she's the only girl and I'm the only SIL (H's other brother isn't married) so she's always been extremely competitive with me and I'm just not interested in playing her game. I'm always polite to her but I try to engage her as little as possible bc she always twists things. Next week we have my H's family Christmas party in RI and I'm going to have to see them all again there. Ugh, ugh, ugh!

[katfco]

I'm so sorry she responded like that. How did your H respond? I hope he told her where to stick her complaints.

[breezy8407]

I'm sorry you had a rough time. I hope today is a better day!

[sallyowens]

Nov 28, 2014 10:54:12 GMT -5 katfco said:

I'm so sorry she responded like that. How did your H respond? I hope he told her where to stick her complaints.

He always plays the peacemaker. He doesn't like discord, so he always tries to smooth things over. I wish that he would stand up to her but he won't. I find that hurtful too, but I don't think that it will ever change.

[katfco]

Nov 28, 2014 11:00:08 GMT -5 sallyowens said:

Nov 28, 2014 10:54:12 GMT -5 katfco said:

I'm so sorry she responded like that. How did your H respond? I hope he told her where to stick her complaints.

He always plays the peacemaker. He doesn't like discord, so he always tries to smooth things over. I wish that he would stand up to her but he won't. I find that hurtful too, but I don't think that it will ever change.

My H is the same way, and it's taken a long time for him to realize that playing "peacemaker" essentially means he's choosing to allow me to be disrespected. He's gotten much better, but it's taken 11 years of me explaining how it feels on my side. 

[sallyowens]

Nov 28, 2014 11:10:36 GMT -5 katfco said:

Nov 28, 2014 11:00:08 GMT -5 sallyowens said:

He always plays the peacemaker. He doesn't like discord, so he always tries to smooth things over. I wish that he would stand up to her but he won't. I find that hurtful too, but I don't think that it will ever change.

My H is the same way, and it's taken a long time for him to realize that playing "peacemaker" essentially means he's choosing to allow me to be disrespected. He's gotten much better, but it's taken 11 years of me explaining how it feels on my side. 

At least there is hope. This is our 5th year together, so maybe in 6 more he'll finally get it.