My Belly Was Rubbed For the First Time

[yourmother]

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

My DH and I went to his parent's house for dinner, where we announced to everyone that we are expecting our first child. Lots of hugs, kisses and well-wishes. It was a great day! At the end of the evening, I was resting on the couch (in other words trapped and couldn't move away) when one of my in-laws' guests came to me to rub my belly for good luck. It wasn't a quick run, but a lingering one. Ugh. I thanked her for the good luck and then she corrected me and said it was good luck for her. Lol. I finally had my wits about me to get up and go to another room. She didn't mean anything by it, but I'm not a touchy feely person.

What is a polite way to tell people I don't want my belly touched. The only people I'm ok with doing that is my DH and maybe my young nieces and nephews.

[estrellita]

Lol, I hate the belly touching! I didn't think I would care, but I've always been self conscious about my stomach, so it's weird when someone touches it. Last weekend 2 of my friends went right for it at the same time, haha. Depending on who it is I just let it go but it's definitely weird! I don't think I've ever touched someone's belly without them telling me to!

[krystee]

So far I have used, "oh, you can't feel anything from the outside yet!" as they start going for the belly. It doesn't stop my mom (who literally bends down to rub it and say hi and bye and I love you right up next to it so the baby can hear, and actually KISSED it goodbye), but the but it seems to work for some others.

[nmosrob]

Ha, krystee my mom did the exact same thing when we went to visit! Luckily she's been the only one to rub my belly so far. I don't know how I'll react if anyone else tries to do it.

[felicity]

My MIL first started going in for the belly rub around the same time you are, and I kind of got my hands in there before she could and started rubbing my belly myself. I did that anytime I saw someone going in for the rub and it seemed to deter them lol. One of H's aunts sneaked in some belly rubs at my shower, and she was a lingering belly rubber. I couldn't figure out a good way to make it stop so I just had to endure it. Ugh.

What is really annoying early on is that your uterus is still really low and tucked away, so they are literally just trying to rub your belly (or in my case, bloat), no baby. So awkward.

[achi]

Ugh.. so inappropriate.

[yourmother]

Nov 28, 2014 8:37:39 GMT -5 felicity said:

My MIL first started going in for the belly rub around the same time you are, and I kind of got my hands in there before she could and started rubbing my belly myself. I did that anytime I saw someone going in for the rub and it seemed to deter them lol. One of H's aunts sneaked in some belly rubs at my shower, and she was a lingering belly rubber. I couldn't figure out a good way to make it stop so I just had to endure it. Ugh.

What is really annoying early on is that your uterus is still really low and tucked away, so they are literally just trying to rub your belly (or in my case, bloat), no baby. So awkward.

Oh.Em.Geee!!! THIS!  Yes, I got rubbed on my chipotle belly and not my baby belly. AWKWARD!

[centralsquare]

Gah, my MIL rubbed my belly yesterday and said "how's my baby?"

I wanted to say "this is not YOUR baby, lady" but I was good.

[starburst604]

I got a lot of rubs yesterday. My goddaughter kept giving it a kiss, which was cute. So far I don't mind, maybe that will change. It was just close family, I wouldn't appreciate a stranger doing it.

[pooh8402]

I'm only 7 weeks and got my first belly rub on Wednesday, from my 13 yo niece. I was surprised at how much it annoyed me.

Of course, it's all bloat and no baby thus far.

[krystee]

I won't mind at all if people ask if they can feel the baby kick, but it's kind of weird when they just go in for the rub without asking, especially since most of it is probably just my chubby belly, not bump.

[christy082]

Thankfully I"ve only had one person touch me so far- my grandma. Who of course put her hand above my belly button where there was no baby and just fat, lol. I hated it, but she's 86 years old, so i was nice and didn't say anything. She also called it "my baby", referring to herself, when she touched it, which was even weirder.

[yourmother]

Nov 28, 2014 11:05:36 GMT -5 daisyfay25 said:

I've had 2 people do it in the past 2 days I am not a touchy feeling person to begin with, so I had to fight my urge to smack their hand and run away. I hate it. I barely even have a bump!

This is me! My bump is more like a beer belly, so it feels weird.

i was thinking that next time I may pull back or something and say that I'm ticklish. Not sure if that's believable or rude. I just don't want hands on me.

[rachelgreen]

I'm only commenting to be the lone dissenter lol. I actually like the belly rubs. I didn't think I would because of the fact I'm plus sized to begin with but it really hasn't bothered me. I like when my MIL does it because bunny seems to calm down each time. She thinks bunny doesn't like her LOL. Poor grandma.

[tarotchamber]

My MIL has been the only one to rub my belly so far. I'm at 16 weeks (14 when she rubbed) and I didn't really mind but it was weird bc there really wasn't much to feel. What I have minded though is her continually referring to my baby with the words "my baby"... She seems well intentioned but I'm wondering if there's a tactful way to ask her to stop. It feels like a minimization of me...she never asks how I'm doing but instead it's "how's my baby?" "Tell my baby I love it " or (to my husband) "Tell Jenn not to sit with her laptop on my baby." Comments like the last one make me feel the worst.

[yourmother]

Nov 29, 2014 21:23:29 GMT -5 tarotchamber said:

My MIL has been the only one to rub my belly so far. I'm at 16 weeks (14 when she rubbed) and I didn't really mind but it was weird bc there really wasn't much to feel. What I have minded though is her continually referring to my baby with the words "my baby"... She seems well intentioned but I'm wondering if there's a tactful way to ask her to stop. It feels like a minimization of me...she never asks how I'm doing but instead it's "how's my baby?" "Tell my baby I love it " or (to my husband) "Tell Jenn not to sit with her laptop on my baby." Comments like the last one make me feel the worst.

Yeah, so sorry. That must be rough! Any chance your DH can run interference and tell her to cut it out? So damn annoying and that last one would make me snap and throw a laptop at her.

[kams]

I haven't had a stranger rub yet, and I made it through one pregnancy entirely free. I don't mind friends and family - I find it to be a loving gesture. I DO, however, know that it is not universally acceptable, so I've never touched someone else's belly.

[kballerina]

I feel the same way kams does - I actually love having my belly rubbed by friends and family, but I always tell people - "be sure you ask any pregnant woman before touching because many, if not most, hate this!" So hopefully they won't take my enjoyment as universal for all pregnant bellies!

[estrellita]

Ugh my aunts both went right for my belly last night before they even really said hi to me, lol. Later one of them asked if that was ok (after touching my belly twice) and I said it was a little weird to get used to, lol.

[Deleted]

Still no one has touched me. I'm going to ride this as long as it lasts.

I'm obviously pregnant now. So I'm sure it'll start soon. And I have my shower in 2 weeks so I'll probably have everyone try then, ha!

[tarotchamber]

Nov 30, 2014 8:19:23 GMT -5 yourmother said:

Nov 29, 2014 21:23:29 GMT -5 tarotchamber said:

My MIL has been the only one to rub my belly so far. I'm at 16 weeks (14 when she rubbed) and I didn't really mind but it was weird bc there really wasn't much to feel. What I have minded though is her continually referring to my baby with the words "my baby"... She seems well intentioned but I'm wondering if there's a tactful way to ask her to stop. It feels like a minimization of me...she never asks how I'm doing but instead it's "how's my baby?" "Tell my baby I love it " or (to my husband) "Tell Jenn not to sit with her laptop on my baby." Comments like the last one make me feel the worst.

Yeah, so sorry. That must be rough! Any chance your DH can run interference and tell her to cut it out? So damn annoying and that last one would make me snap and throw a laptop at her.

Yes! I talked to DH after that last one and he agreed that it was definitely weird. He wrote a response to her that basically said he'd pass her comment on as a suggestion/tip rather than a weird sort of order. If she persists he'll say something a little more direct to her. We're trying to avoid drama, but dang that one was hard to just suck up and ignore. After a few days though, a lot of the sting is gone, so that's good too! 

[sequins]

No one has rubbed me yet. But I have such a resting bitch face that I doubt it will happen, lol.

[cheeseandcrackers]

yeah, team bitchy here, no rubs from any strangers, ha. But in normal clothes, I am still in that chubby or pregnant stage.

[yourmother]

Dec 2, 2014 21:18:39 GMT -5 sequins said:

No one has rubbed me yet. But I have such a resting bitch face that I doubt it will happen, lol.

You are too cute and sweet. I sincerely doubt you have a RBF! 

[626]

I normally HATE my stomach being touched - hate it! Doesn't matter if it's H, a doctor, whomever... But I haven't minded friends or family touching at all while pregnant, in fact I welcome it. It's very strange.

That being said, it has only been close friends and family who have touched my belly and a lot of times I bring their hand over to feel the baby move.

No strangers have touched the belly (thank god!), but I'm sure most of that is due to the fact that until this past week, I don't think anyone knew I was pregnant - and even now if I wear something loose you can't really tell either.

[sequins]

Dec 3, 2014 8:02:57 GMT -5 yourmother said:

Dec 2, 2014 21:18:39 GMT -5 sequins said:

No one has rubbed me yet. But I have such a resting bitch face that I doubt it will happen, lol.

You are too cute and sweet. I sincerely doubt you have a RBF! 

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