VENT - DH is annoying

[pinkiepromise]

So Thanksgiving morning (around 11am) DH wakes up with some sort of stomach bug. Says he feels ok when he lays down but is pretty nauseated when sitting up. He tells me just to go to my mothers with DS without him. Before I leave my younger sister stopped over and asked if I would go shopping with her later on that evening because there was some deal at Walmart that she wanted to get and didn't want to go alone. We had talked about this earlier on in the week and my mom had mentioned watching DS that night if we decided to shop.

I left around 2pm and came home around 6:30pm. DS was tired and cranky and said that he wanted to come home so I brought him home instead of having him stay at my mom's.
When I got inside DH was still on the couch but I saw he had eaten and asked him how he was feeling. At this point he was up playing xbox and seemed ok. DS had went into his bedroom and crawled into bed so I put a movie on for him. I figured he would just end up going to sleep. I asked DH if he cared if I still went shopping with my sister and told him I didn't plan on spending any money but was just going so she wasn't alone. He then told me to take some money because there might be some good deals. I told him I didn't think it would take long.
I don't go Black Friday/Thanksgiving shopping so I learned my lesson there!

We got to Walmart around 7 and left the store at 9:30. We waited in line to cash out for and hour and a half. NEVER again. I don't know how people do it!
After that we ran over to Target (it is across the street) because I had some gift cards but didn't see anything worthwhile so we were in an out in about 15 minutes. Then my sister wanted to walk over to some teen clothing store and see what they had because they had a pretty good sale going on.

My husband had texted me at 9:30 right after we got out of Walmart to see what was going on but I didn't see it until around 10pm when we were in the clothing store. I told him that my sister was looking for some clothes but that we should be done soon and would be heading straight home. I also called him just to make sure that he knew what was going on and he had a gigantic attitude on the phone. Grreeatt just what I want to come home to. I forgot to mentioned that we took my younger sister's car so I didn't have the option to just leave.

We left the store at...hmm..around 10:30 so I made it home by 11pm. I seriously didn't plan on being gone that long. I figured it would take 2 hours tops.
When I came home DH pretty much refused to talk to me. I tried to show him what I bought which was like 4 things lol but he just acted entirely disinterested. So instead of dealing with him being a jerk and refusing to speak to me I went into the bedroom to study for finals - which are next week.

He comes into the bedroom about a half hour later and asked me if I wanted to watch TV. I really did but I desperately need to study for finals so I told him I was going to pass. He got even more pissed said he it was BS that this was our one day off together and we didn't spend time together. I'm in nursing school...it's been a busy, stressful semester but I still have made an effort to spend time with him every week watching TV shows or movies at night. A lot of time when I get home from clinical (mine are during the evening) I'm just tired. After finals are done I have 5 weeks off to do whatever he wants to do.

I can see why he is upset. It was Thanksgiving and we should have spent more than a few hours together. But I didn't want DS to miss out on Thanksgiving because DH wasn't feeling good and if DH wanted me to stay home and not shop I wish he would have just said something instead of thinking I would be a mind reader. If the tables were turned DH would have done the exact same thing.

DH is still barely talking to me this morning. I asked him why he had an attitude and he said it was because he was pissed off that I was gone all day yesterday and didn't spend time with him at night. I told him just what I said here...that if he would have asked me to stay home I would have. I never go out and do anything outside of class. I could count on one hand the amount of times that I have gone out with family or friends just by myself this past year. I just feel like I am being punished because he didn't tell me how he actually felt. It's so frustrating! I deserve to be able to go out and enjoy myself without having to worry that DH is going to be upset.

[Eagles]

Um, he made the decision to stay home yesterday. He doesn't get to be pissed that you were "gone all day yesterday." He's being selfish and immature. I'm sorry.

[pretzel]

I'd be upset too. If he didn't want you to go, he should have said so. You're not a mind reader.

[So_Fetch]

He is being a baby. Does he do this a lot? You sounded pretty apologetic about even asking to go shopping.

[mrsukyankee]

Nope this is his own darn fault. He needs to learn to communicate if he has needs. Otherwise, no beuno.

[moolarkey]

Nov 28, 2014 12:45:54 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Is he always this manipulative and childish?

BINGO!   You can't own a people, he needs to learn this.

[pinkiepromise]

He's hasn't always been like this but I'm noticing it more lately. Or maybe it has been like this and I'm just now getting it or getting sick of it. What just drives me crazy is that he won't communicate what he actually wants/needs and then gets frustrated when I don't just KNOW what he wants.
I've told him that he needs to say what he wants or means but then he'll say, "It doesn't matter what I want." Seriously? I feel like I'm living with a moody, manipulative teenager. He is 30-something years old..he needs to act like it.

The night before he was pissed off that I didn't answer my phone when he had gotten off work. I had a clinical that morning and hadn't taken my phone off of silent when I left the hospital. He was calling because he was at the store and wanted to know if I would make a pumpkin roll. So he came home pouting because all he wanted was a pumpkin roll and since I didn't answer the phone that meant I wouldn't make it. Uh..ok? How hard is it to pop on Google, find the ingredients, buy the ingredients, and then come home and ask me if I would make it?
Nope..too much common sense. He just decided to come home and complain instead. I don't get it.

[TC]

School is hard. He is being a butt. Make a point to reset over winter break and formulate a game plan to keep spats like this from happening next quarter... make a baseline commitment of time together, then demand that anything above and beyond that is communicated maturely and in advance so that everyone has a chance to get their needs met. We try to shoot for both weekend days after 3pm, and one week night. Holidays are NOT assumed to be "time together" days, except for Christmas Day. The very end of the quarter is always the worst, you're burnt out from the quarter + finals are right around the corner + your family is burnt out right when you need support the most. It's a mess.

[badgerwrangler]

This is passive aggressive manipulation. He sounds exactly like my father. He won't give an opinion on what to do/where to go but if you don't pick exactly what he wanted, he pouts about it. My dad also wants my mom to be at home all the time, whether he is there or not. It's bizarre. My brother-in-law does this to my sister too.

You do what you want if he doesn't offer an opinion. And if he pitches a fit, just say, I'm not a mind reader. Over and over again until it sticks.

[EmilieMadison]

He sounds like a dick.

[tictac]

Nov 28, 2014 13:12:15 GMT -5 pinkiepromise said:

The night before he was pissed off that I didn't answer my phone when he had gotten off work. I had a clinical that morning and hadn't taken my phone off of silent when I left the hospital. He was calling because he was at the store and wanted to know if I would make a pumpkin roll. So he came home pouting because all he wanted was a pumpkin roll and since I didn't answer the phone that meant I wouldn't make it. Uh..ok? How hard is it to pop on Google, find the ingredients, buy the ingredients, and then come home and ask me if I would make it?
Nope..too much common sense. He just decided to come home and complain instead. I don't get it. just make it himself?

FTFY