Help me help my friend

[ringstrue]

Will be long I think.

My friend is caring for her mom who has cancer. Her mom is single as is she, and she's an only child- so it's truly just these two on their own. When she's not at work she's at the hospital. She eats and sleeps there.

She's trying to navigate the doctors and it's very confusing and frustrating for her. She's constantly posting on FB updates cuz she really has no one else to tell "IRL" tho a handful of friends are local I have no idea if they are helpful to her at all. I'm not local to her.

Her mom seems to be entering the end stages. They did an emergency surgery but they don't think she'll last 6 weeks.

My friend is beside herself, as you'd guess. The ministers and other religious people there have told her they are worried about her. (Helpful! Not) she's caring for her mom but no one is caring for her and she's running ragged.

So I'm asking 2 things. Is there someone she could hire to help her navigate these waters? I have no idea what I'm talking about. But someone to help her understand doctor info, deal with emotional stuff, help coordinate next steps? Like, she probably needs to find hospice care but who knows where to start, kwim? It goes on and on but she'll be doing it all on her own.

#2- I wanna send her a care package. What in the world do you send a friend in this situation?

** she's at a hospital is Maryland. I asked her which one, just incase anyone happens to know of numbers for these sort of resources. She needs to talk to hospice ASAP, for sure.

[pixy0stix]

Has she contacted a hospice facility?

[ringstrue]

Thanks guys. She hasn't responded to me yet. FWIW I believe her mom's in a Baltimore hospital.

[NewOrleans]

I would think hospice would be able to help them?

As for care package. I'm not sure, but it seems that your friend spends a lot of time at the hospital? So what about a pair of leggings, a pair of slippers or slipper socks, and a cozy cozy tunic like this-- www.target.com/p/women-s-cowl-tunic-top-merona/-/A-15793325

to lounge in at the hospital? And if she has an e-reader, then a B&N Nook / Amazon Kindle gift card for some books.

[orangeblossom]

Not sure if she has an EAP, but sometimes they have lots of services, including finding care for others.

There are health advocates outside of hospice care that will advocate for you. Some employers offer that as a benefit. A common company is Aon.

[rubytue]

If she is in Anne Arundel county (just south of Baltimore), I hear great things a about these folks www.hospicechesapeake.org/

This is another local hospice gilchristhospice.org/

I'm in TN right now (caring for my parents), so I don't have access to the local hospital magazine that I know is sitting on my dining room table and has resources in the back. But there are lots if resources available. If she reached out to a hospital social worker, I bet their can help her find them.

[Norticprincess]

If she is at either Hopkins or Maryland -- they both have socialwork/family services that are great to work with -- Hopkins it is in the lobby of the cancer center building. For Maryland -- they just came to my room -- I had the young adult navigator for a lot things.

Respite care www.dhr.state.md.us/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/respite.pdf . Just to give her a break to get out for a bit.


www.umgcc.org/patient_info/patient_resource_navigator.htm
www.umgcc.org/patient_info/canc_pat_phone.htm

www.hopkinsmedicine.org/kimmel_cancer_center/patient_information/social_workers_services_and_support.html
www.hopkinsmedicine.org/kimmel_cancer_center/centers/palliative_care_pain/
www.hopkinsmedicine.org/kimmel_cancer_center/patient_information/cancer_counseling_center.html

ETA I'm sorry your friend has to go through this by herself. It is a very difficult situation. As far as things to send her? Sounds like she needs some me/destress time -- not sure if she has a favorite salon or spa. Favorite restaurant gift card?

[cst2cst]

The hospital social worker can help with everything you listed, including finding a hospice agency. Hospice will provide aftercare services to your friend for a year after her mom passes. I hope she gets some support soon.

[ringstrue]

Ok she's at Mercy Hospital in Baltimore.

Thanks I will forward her this info.