Have you ever attended a pricey destination wedding?

[Deleted]

Zero unless it was my brother and I was unable to talk him out if it. I don't agree with DWs.

[justjen]

I've only been to 1, and it was around $3k total for the 3 of us (we only had to pay for 2 of us, though, since L was just over a year). Frankly, I just really wanted to go on vacation, and this was a beautiful all-inclusive in Mexico. It was just what we needed. The wedding part was just a bonus

[pierogigirl]

Close to 0 - I'd spend 0, but DH has done one without me. When I was very pregnant DH went to his good friend's wedding in Florida. It was a DW because no one lived there; they just wanted to get married in the Keys. That was probably about $1000 for cheap airfare, hotel, gift, and a new shirt and tie for DH. I can't imagine we'd do that again (I stayed home, but DH was on alert that I could go into labor and he'd have to find a way to get home immediately).

[sjh722]

$5000? No way. Maaaaaaaaybe for a sibling.

[ssmjlm]

Unless it's was a family member or a place I wanted to double as a vacation, probably $0.

I was in a friend's wedding at a big resort in Virginia and it wasn't worth the cost. It didn't help that the bride and groom IMO didn't take care of their wedding party/guests in the manner of a traditional destination wedding, so there were a lot of OOP costs.

[VillainV]

Oh man....if it was a very close friend or family member, and going would mean seeing lots of other friends or family members, then maybe like $2000. We spent that much once to travel from the UK back to the US for a friends wedding....and now that we're back in the US, we might go back to the UK for more weddings, and those would be at least $2000.....

But for just a friend, to a destination I didn't care about and didn't know other people? Not very much. Less than $1000, for sure.

[dancingirl21]

Not happening. DH's cousin (who he is pretty close with) lives in Montana but he and his fiancé are from the same town half the country away. Even so, they are getting married in Montana. We are not going. Flights alone are $600 each, to go to nowheresville Montana.

[dragonfly08]

We spent just under $10K to attend a destination wedding in Greece this past summer. And that didn't even include hotel costs for 12 of the 14 nights, as we were staying in my ILs condo.

BUT...it was my SIL, and her/DHs entire maternal family other than their mom lives there, including DHs grandmother whom he hadn't seen in 20+ years and he really hoped to introduce our girls to before it was too late. So we always planned a trip like this eventually anyway. The wedding just dictated the when, not the if.

For a friend, in a location I wasn't already planning to visit someday, $5K would be a lot. I'm not sure I'd do it.

[delawarejen]

Wow. I hope this guy's family has money. My own parents wouldn't come to my wedding if I had one that cost that much to travel to!

It doesn't sound like your DH is close enough to go to any out-of-town wedding for this guy, let alone such a pricey one. I'd decline.

[Velar Fricative]

I honestly don't know. No one in our circle has had a DW so I don't have a limit - we would just need to play it by ear if and when there is a DW that we're invited to and just see if it fits into our budget. However, I would not even entertain the idea at all unless the wedding was for a close friend or family member.

ETA: To add, I'm defining DW as a wedding in a location where neither member of the couple getting married has ties to. I'm not including weddings where we just have to fly/drive and stay in a hotel to attend because it's where the couple lives or grew up or whatever.

[v]

Yes. If I like the couple and the destination, I am willing to spend whatever I'd normally spend to go on vacation to that destination (plus a gift, minus a few meals, I guess). We've made fantastic trips to Italy, Hawaii, and Anguilla out of destination weddings (and the weddings themselves were awesome, because being at the destination for several days, we really got to spend time with the couple and the other wedding attendees).

If I wasn't close to the couple and/or wasn't into the destination, though, I wouldn't go.

It sounds like you're not really into this one, so I'd skip it.

[anna7602]

Ditto justjen. I have used weddings in Key West, Puerto Rico, and Mallorca as excuses for a vacation. I may have spent a bit more than the average vacation to stay at the same resort as other wedding guests or to book flights with friends traveling to the same wedding, but overall, it was all in the same general ballpark as what I would have spent on a non-wedding trip. Money to hang out somewhere fun is never wasted to me, especially if I can catch up with other friends or tack on days to explore on my own after the festivities.

None of my friends are really getting married anymore these days, though. It's easy to look back on my destination wedding days fondly and forget about the hassles of taking days off from work at inconvenient times, etc.

[dulcemariamar]

5000 is crazy. But I kinda hate DWs and don't think they are fair to the family and friends. But I mean DWs where you just choose a location because you think it would be nice for a wedding and not one where you have some type of connection like your hometown or where you went to college.

Save the tropical beach for your honeymoon.

[wavepool]

Nov 28, 2014 15:18:04 GMT -5 dancingirl21 said:

Not happening. DH's cousin (who he is pretty close with) lives in Montana but he and his fiancé are from the same town half the country away. Even so, they are getting married in Montana. We are not going. Flights alone are $600 each, to go to nowheresville Montana.

I don't consider this a destination wedding, so it doesn't play in to my answer. To me, a destination wedding is in a location where neither party has ties, like an AI in Mexico or something like that (most common DW wedding location in our group). Funny that your example is Montana because we went to a wedding there this summer and it was so pretty!! 

We have declined invitations to destination weddings so far, and will probably be declining another one for next summer. We have limited vacation budget and want to spend it on vacations we choose! If we had unlimited vacation budget, time off, and childcare, then I'd go to them. 
It really drives me nuts when the reason for the DW is to save money. They are the only people saving money--it costs guests so much to go! 

[Deleted]

We did a $4k destination wedding for H's brother. I wouldn't do it for a friend I think, unless it was one of my very very best friends.

[thebreakfastclub]

I am in a beach house off the coast of NC right now for a wedding.

We drove and split a house 3 ways. We will probably spend about $1000 for 4 days.

We didn't take a vacation this year, and I am fine with it.

[sarahsas]

We spent about $4000 on my best friend's wedding. She got married in Austria (to an Austrian; they live there so it wasn't quite destination for them). We went for a week and did all the sightseeing. It was worth it to is because we are old friends and she was my MOH too. It was my h's first trip to Europe. Last big trip before baby, though we booked before we found out. I would only do it for the best of friends and if it's not a financial burden.

[ECB]

Yes and no. We went to a wedding in Sedona Arizona, but that's where the brides parents live. We split a room w/ friends and we actually made a week long vacation out of it. This was 11 years ago - I can't remember what we spent. But as it served a dual purpose, we were o.k .with it.

I can't see dropping $5k to go to a WEDDING. At least of someone that I'm not incredibly close to.

[arebee]

I wouldn't go to a DW unless it was a sibling. Even then I wouldn't be too happy about it. We don't have a very big vacation budget. I don't like the idea of spending that money on a destination that was chosen for me.

The most we would probably spend is 3-4k total for the three of us.

[stacyb1983]

For immediate family, yes. For everyone else, no. I've got kids to send to college. If I'm spending that kind of money I'm going to one of my dream destinations.

[Deleted]

Nov 28, 2014 15:38:53 GMT -5 v said:

Yes. If I like the couple and the destination, I am willing to spend whatever I'd normally spend to go on vacation to that destination (plus a gift, minus a few meals, I guess). We've made fantastic trips to Italy, Hawaii, and Anguilla out of destination weddings (and the weddings themselves were awesome, because being at the destination for several days, we really got to spend time with the couple and the other wedding attendees).

If I wasn't close to the couple and/or wasn't into the destination, though, I wouldn't go.

It sounds like you're not really into this one, so I'd skip it.

Same. I love traveling, I love weddings and I don't mind spending the money for a friend.

It just comes down to priorities.

[krystee]

We paid about $2K for a destination wedding on a beach in South Carolina for a cousin, and it was one of the best times I have ever had. Well worth it! We have to go to two OOT weddings next year for siblings and neither is in a "destination" place, but we don't have much of a choice about going! We'll spend about $1,500 on each for long weekends.

[badgergrl]

Nope. That isn't reasonable to expect other people to spend that much money. Destination weddings at so incredibly selfish.

[madringal]

We probably spent close to 5k (for three of us) for my sisters wedding in St. Thomas. But it was totally worth it. Our whole family was there so that made it really special.

ETA: we were there for 8 days.

[thejackpot]

Well prior to kids, destination weddings were a norm and I spent as much as I could afford to spend. Sometimes I roomed with my girlfriends and flew the airlines I would avoid like the plague now. I always viewed them as a getaway.

I also had a DW and would not have wanted anyone to come if it meant they were compromising their finances. It just made sense as most guests would be traveling to make it a fun location/vacation spot.

[Marmee]

Well we went to BILs wedding in NC...that was all 5 of us & 4 were in the wedding. I'm sure we spent over $5K on that easily between flights, car rental, hotel, food, etc. I basically had a DW (in Northern WY which isn't easy or cheap to get to) so I can't talk. I'll will go to siblings & any others would depend.

[stealthmom]

Yes. A good friend from college got married in jamaica. It was a few months after I turned 30 and we didn't have any kids so we made a thing of it. It was super fun though I didn't care much for what I experienced of Jamaica itself. But I wouldn't have done that if it hadn't been a good friend.

We don't have as much disposable income now but in theory I'd still attend one even if it wasn't a top priority destination for us. My favorite places in the world are destinations I could not have cared less about but visited anyway bc I was game and ended up falling in love.

[lindsaymg]

We went to one, I was in the wedding. But it wasn't $5k, more like $2k.

[starlily]

Yes, if it's a destination we'd like to vacation at anyways, or for close family & friends.

We've been to two DW: SIL's wedding in Venice followed by a weeklong Mediterranean cruise for attendees and a friend's wedding in Maui. We spent a lot on SIL's because we added a week on in Italy before the cruise. No regrets.

[elocrates]

Nov 28, 2014 15:38:53 GMT -5 v said:

Yes. If I like the couple and the destination, I am willing to spend whatever I'd normally spend to go on vacation to that destination (plus a gift, minus a few meals, I guess). We've made fantastic trips to Italy, Hawaii, and Anguilla out of destination weddings (and the weddings themselves were awesome, because being at the destination for several days, we really got to spend time with the couple and the other wedding attendees).

If I wasn't close to the couple and/or wasn't into the destination, though, I wouldn't go.

It sounds like you're not really into this one, so I'd skip it.

This. All of it. We are actually doing this within the next year. It's not a destination we would have chosen on our own but it is going to be beautiful, relaxing, and an absolute blast as many of our friends are going as well. I still cringe at the cost when I think about, so I try not to think about it.