Moral WWYD

[rikki]

Let's say your husband, who is a total workaholic and doesn't really do too many family extracurricular activities other than eating, went out and about for an hour and came home with tickets for the Ringling Bros Circus. You are opposed to the circus due to their treatment of animals. Would you say something and not go, or would you stay quiet and go as obviously your husband was doing a nice thing in planning a family outing?

[sjh722]

I would go.

[wannabe]

Ugh. I HATE the circus and all it stands for. UGH.

This is hard. I suppose I'd have to suck it up for the sake of family time. Still...ugh.

[cvillern]

Does he know you are opposed to it? If he wasn't aware, I would probably take one for the team and go. If he knew how you felt and did it anyway I would probably be more annoyed.

We are pretty anti circus in our house so I am trying not to let that color my answer too much. It sounds like he was trying to make an effort at least.

[zeewifeandmama]

Ugh, tough! I say if he didn't know you were opposed Id suck it up and go.

[Deleted]

Go, enjoy the family time, and make a donation equal to the cost of the tickets to an animal charity of choice. There are a few good elephant ones that take former circus animals.

[zarapipe]

Tough. I hate the circus but may go based what you said. My dh is a workaholic too and I would be impressed by the effort he put forth to go out and get the tickets.

[rikki]

Nov 28, 2014 19:56:43 GMT -5 @sessalee said:

Go, enjoy the family time, and make a donation equal to the cost of the tickets to an animal charity of choice. There are a few good elephant ones that take former circus animals.

I like this idea. He has no clue about my opinion of the circus. I'll probably tell him after the show. I feel like he would be sad/upset if I told him before.

[aspentosh]

Nov 28, 2014 19:56:43 GMT -5 @sessalee said:

Go, enjoy the family time, and make a donation equal to the cost of the tickets to an animal charity of choice. There are a few good elephant ones that take former circus animals.

This is a great idea.

[bunch]

I would go.

[cricketwife]

Since the tickets are already bought, you've already supported the circus. So I would go and "support" my husband who was trying to do something nice.

I really like the idea of donating to an animal charity too!

[arch01]

Go. He has no idea how you feel and he's trying.

[osulori]

I like @sessalee's idea and your idea of telling your H how you feel about the circus after, rikki. I hate the circus and what it stands for too, and could see my H doing something similar.

[redheadbaker]

If he had no clue about my feelings before buying the tickets, I would go.

[Jalapeñomel]

I probably wouldn't go. But I am also very vocal about how I feel about the circus, and DH knows this, so I would probably be upset that he disregarded my feelings.

[kershnic]

With your follow up that he didn't know how you feel about the circus I would absolutely go. As someone above mentioned, you've already supported the circus. Now you have to choose whether or not to support your husband. If you think about it that way I'm sure the answer is obvious. I like your plan of telling him afterwards to not ruin his surprise but to avoid any further circus supporting.

[carolinagirl831]

I would go, if you get on him for this he may take it wrong and never plan anything on his own again

[browneyedgirl9]

Go. He is making a true effort and probably thought it was a good idea, especially if he didn't know your feelings. Enjoy the time together.

[v]

I couldn't go. It would upset me too much to watch, and I'd quite possibly cry.

I'd bring it up in the nicest way possible, as very, very appreciative of the gesture but aware of issues he may not know about, and would ask him to sell the tickets so we could do something else instead. Or donate them to underprivileged kids. Or have glamma go in my stead.

[h]

Go. The tickets are paid for; no sense in hurting your H's feelings in addition to supporting something you dislike. Too wrongs and all that.

I would probably go and not say anything, then in a few weeks say something like "I just read an article about how horribly circuses treat the animals. It was so much fun when we went, but I just don't think I would feel comfortable supporting them again," so that he doesn't start buying tickets every year or something.

[h]

Nov 28, 2014 21:13:29 GMT -5 v said:

I couldn't go. It would upset me too much to watch, and I'd quite possibly cry.

I'd bring it up in the nicest way possible, as very, very appreciative of the gesture but aware of issues he may not know about, and would ask him to sell the tickets so we could do something else instead. Or donate them to underprivileged kids. Or have glamma go in my stead.

This is a reasonable point. If going will upset you so much that you will be visibly distraught, I think you probably do need to just say something now.

[stacyb1983]

I would go. I hate the circus, but like others have said the tickets have already been purchased.

[anna7602]

DH and I have never discussed our respective feelings about the circus. I am now making a mental note to do so. I really don't know what I would do in your shoes, but I feel like it would be impossible not to say anything at all, especially once you are there if you go. And what if he makes it a yearly thing or something?

BTW, I love the strong showing v is making on this board tonight.

[redheadk]

Nov 28, 2014 21:13:48 GMT -5 h said:

Go. The tickets are paid for; no sense in hurting your H's feelings in addition to supporting something you dislike. Too wrongs and all that.

I would probably go and not say anything, then in a few weeks say something like "I just read an article about how horribly circuses treat the animals. It was so much fun when we went, but I just don't think I would feel comfortable supporting them again," so that he doesn't start buying tickets every year or something.

I would do exactly this. 

It's a rare day that my DH plans something for us to do as a family and I know that if I criticized it, he'd never do it again.

[badgergrl]

I would go, do your best to enjoy yourself and then later have a conversation. Over drinks or something.

[andthentherewere10]

Would absolutely not go but offer to handle the selling of the tickets elsewhere

[stealthmom]

Stay quiet. Your one-time attendence at the circus is more of a positive to your family than not going would be a negative to the circus.

[lilac05]

I would go, make a donation to an opposing charity & not spend a penny while there. I'd try to have a conversation about circuses in general later, especially if you fear he might do it again. I'd focus on how I went because time with my family at that time was more important and I was a gracious recipient of a gift that was purchased with all the best intentions. Also be prepared to mention other options for spending time together as a family.

[Deleted]

Nov 28, 2014 19:58:35 GMT -5 rikki said:

Nov 28, 2014 19:56:43 GMT -5 @sessalee said:

Go, enjoy the family time, and make a donation equal to the cost of the tickets to an animal charity of choice. There are a few good elephant ones that take former circus animals.

I like this idea. He has no clue about my opinion of the circus. I'll probably tell him after the show. I feel like he would be sad/upset if I told him before.

Last year, we were visiting family for thanksgiving, and the night before my father brought home a giant platter of Chik Fil A, which I am pretty opposed to consuming. But that was what was for dinner and I didn't want to make a fuss. So I checked the receipt and donated that amount to a local LGBT group. It's not something I make a practice of, but sometimes you're in a situation where it's better to just make do and make up for it later.

Try to enjoy the family time. I remember going to the circus as a kid and it was a great time, and that memory is worth a lot to me, even with my jaded view now.