I posted here that my dad was in the ICU because they found 2 clots in his lungs. They found these clots while doing a routine scan before starting chemo.
Well, now they have reviewed the scans for everything (or whatever they do) and they have found the cancer has spread from his pancreas to his liver, all in the matter of 6 weeks. The doctor ruled out surgery, and said even at this point, chemo is just a prolonging measure would support my dad choosing to not go through with it. He gave him 3 months without chemo. Maybe a few more with. How those months look is unseen, but probably not great since the cancer will pretty much move from organ to organ.
Guys. I'm heartbroken. I can't imagine what my world looks like without my dad. He has always been my biggest cheerleader and supporter. With the new prognosis, part of me is wondering if maybe I should just move back to Utah temporarily...like, try to get a temp job there so I can continue to pay rent on my CA apartment, then when it's all said and done, come back. I don't know if that would be stupid considering how my work history will look. 8/2012-move across country, 9/2013-move across country, 6/2014-move across country, 1/2015-move again... I would look like the biggest flake! I just don't know. All my dad wants is to spend time with my mom and his kids.
Big hugs, I'm so sorry. I say if you want to go, GO. Fuck what your resume looks like. Don't have the regret of not going. I lost my stepdad a little over a year ago and I'm thankful I was around as much as possible when he was sick.
Thank you all. It's such a weird feeling. I'm sad, and things keep coming that make me sadder. And I know I'm only feeling the tip of the emotional iceberg.
Post by CityLights on Dec 16, 2014 22:35:02 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. If you feel like you should go be with your father, then please just go and try not to worry about everything else. ::hugs::
I was in a similar situation. I had recently moved out of state when my father's illness took a turn for the worst. I went back home and spent that last month and a half with him. I am SO thankful that I did and have no regrets. Even though I was back and forth in terms of jobs during that time, it has never negatively impacted subsequent job searches.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
Post by onedayatatime on Dec 16, 2014 23:21:39 GMT -5
Big hugs jigsy -- it is a difficult situation no matter what your dad chooses to do. Lots of love and support to you and your family.
I agree with everyone else - go home. First of all it should be very understandable to any future employer that you had things happen - divorce, taking care of your father, you aren't a flake. Second -- spending time with your family is never going to be something you regret no matter what happens with work. My dad died of cancer when I was pretty young so it isn't the same thing - but I cherish every memory, even the ones near the end.
I didn't catch the resolution to your job situation, but are you unemployed or will you be soon? If so, I think this is the universe (or god, if that's your belief) giving you permission and an opportunity to go home and be with your dad. What are the chances your job would be in this place right when your heart is with your dad? I think its meant to be.
I would be more hesitant to quit a stable job. But that's not what you'd be doing here. I think leaving town for a few months and coming back looks no worse than leaving your employer at this point for other reasons anyway. Either way its an employment gap and a few months gap isn't uncommon these days anyway.
If you feel like moving back home a few months is best then don't even worry about your job situation. I'm sure most jobs would understand the gap in jobs to spend time with you dad. Looking back on it later I don't think you will ever regret spending more time with him.
Oh, jigsy, I'm so sorry for this news. I'm thinking of you and your family.
Re moving to take care of/be with your dad: be kind to yourself as you make this decision. As someone who handles hiring for my organization I think you could address the issue of your multiple moves in your cover letter in a way that would ease any concerns a hiring manager would have. Also, I think if a prospective employer had a problem with this kind of move you wouldn't want to work for them anyway. If there's anything I can do please let me know.
Post by bullygirl979 on Dec 17, 2014 9:03:08 GMT -5
jigsy, my dad passed away from lung cancer a few years back. They gave him 6+ months to live and he passed away after 2. The biggest regret I have in life is not spending more time with him when I could. Because I was so focused on the 6 months, I kept thinking that I had time. I'm not trying to scare you, and I really hope your dad holds on as long as possible. But life is so precious and fleeting. Fuck what any employer would think about your resume. If you want to go be with your family, be with your family. Hugs. It sucks, I know
FWIW, if I interviewed someone and they told me that they moved temporarily to be with a sick family member, I would completely understand.