Post by oneslybookworm on Dec 19, 2014 11:31:12 GMT -5
This is a great article and really helps me to articulate some thoughts to my "friends" who are quickly becoming "not friends". I read most the threads on here and really do my best to listen and understand, and change my perspective for the better.
Post by downtoearth on Dec 19, 2014 11:41:24 GMT -5
I have tons of Kleenex and I'll hand it over to anyone who needs it, then try to fill in the silence that follows with some chatter about racial inequality and white privilege whenever anyone broken down by the fight needs a break. I don't know if hearing that I agree is always needed, but that doesn't stop me from reiterating what I feel and continue learn from here - IRL and online.
I posted this to my FB page, and someone responded. A very white, very stereotypical conservative religious right older lady who is very closed minded. If we're friends and you see it and respond, please do so respectfully. I really don't need her to be offended by some witty banter over possibly getting the point of this article.
I JUST saw this. I could tell from your measured response that she was not someone you wanted to see verbally firebombed.
Thank you for posting this...I saw it on my FB newsfeed but couldn't find it again once I was at the computer to fully read.
I have tried to help other white people see their white privilege by respectfully asking them to have some empathy and being more vocal about racial inequality. Not because I want to be a better white person, but because every citizen in our country deserves full rights and privileges and it makes my heart ache that this isn't true. I used to sit back on this board during racial discussions because I felt like it wasn't my place to say anything because I'm a white person and not a black person. Not anymore.
I know I'm nowhere near perfect but you guys teach me so much.
Yup
I am also still in listening mode. And I think that is a good thing. More of the general public need to shut up sit back and listen. Instead of trying to whitesplain or whatever term the author used.
Also this is why I think this board is fantastic and not always a time suck. I don't know if I would have continuously sought out perspective, articles, debate on these topics so vigorously without GBCN. I would have read some things and nodded my head. But I still wouldn't have totally gotten it.
I know I'm nowhere near perfect but you guys teach me so much.
Yup
I am also still in listening mode. And I think that is a good thing. More of the general public need to shut up sit back and listen. Instead of trying to whitesplain or whatever term the author used.
Also this is why I think this board is fantastic and not always a time suck. I don't know if I would have continuously sought out perspective, articles, debate on these topics so vigorously without GBCN. I would have read some things and nodded my head. But I still wouldn't have totally gotten it.
I think there is also a lot of value here (compared to reading an article) in being able to make mistakes and getting called out on them. Reading an article without any way to interact is just so much more passive. I still remember my first innocent blunder here that I now realize was a microaggression but didn't before the conversation. I said something that diminished/dismissed the experience of one of our kind ladies here truly without trying to do so, and people rightly told me I was being an idiot, and that has helped me to learn to be a better listener here and IRL (as I said, still not perfect). Much more so than reading an article about it would have done.
Like many white people who have grown up and lived most of life in relatively homogenous communities, I don't think of myself as a racist, but I have a better understanding now of what it means to unintentionally propagate racism and I am doing my best to learn to recognize that and to teach others in my circles. I like the concept about the bit of racism stuck in your teeth that you need to floss out.
I definitely understand that the constant defensiveness can be very tiring, though, and I don't blame anyone for stepping back!
Post by borinquen57 on Dec 19, 2014 14:07:50 GMT -5
Great article! The White girls on my page totally get it but I find that many of my other Puerto Rican friends do not. That shocks and irritates me to no end and makes me wonder if somewhere they forgot our history and how we've been viewed in the U.S. Hell, even if it wasn't "our problem," which it is, this is something that affects our society as a whole and that kind of attitude it complete bullshit.
I also just wanted to thank you for keeping the discussion going. I truly appreciate seeing these articles and discussions. While it isn't your job to educate me, itcwould be difficult to see and reflect on these POVs anywhere else in my circle at this point.
Haven't read all the comments yet but that is a really powerful piece.
i attended a race institute for educators a few weeks ago and read a really good piece on white racial identity development that was a huge ah-ha moment for me. I'll see if I can find it online.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I am also still in listening mode. And I think that is a good thing. More of the general public need to shut up sit back and listen. Instead of trying to whitesplain or whatever term the author used.
Also this is why I think this board is fantastic and not always a time suck. I don't know if I would have continuously sought out perspective, articles, debate on these topics so vigorously without GBCN. I would have read some things and nodded my head. But I still wouldn't have totally gotten it.
I think there is also a lot of value here (compared to reading an article) in being able to make mistakes and getting called out on them. Reading an article without any way to interact is just so much more passive. I still remember my first innocent blunder here that I now realize was a microaggression but didn't before the conversation. I said something that diminished/dismissed the experience of one of our kind ladies here truly without trying to do so, and people rightly told me I was being an idiot, and that has helped me to learn to be a better listener here and IRL (as I said, still not perfect). Much more so than reading an article about it would have done.
Like many white people who have grown up and lived most of life in relatively homogenous communities, I don't think of myself as a racist, but I have a better understanding now of what it means to unintentionally propagate racism and I am doing my best to learn to recognize that and to teach others in my circles. I like the concept about the bit of racism stuck in your teeth that you need to floss out.
I definitely understand that the constant defensiveness can be very tiring, though, and I don't blame anyone for stepping back!
ITA. Sometimes I genuinely don't know stuff and I'm glad I have a place to learn it.
I do hope nobody has put me "on a spreadsheet" if I've unintentionally put my foot in my mouth, though. I usually either hesitate to post in these threads (though I do read many/most of them) or often regret posting (like, I shouldn't have said anything at all in the MM thread because I feel like I didn't effectively communicate what I meant to say and what I meant was not correct anyway). I think/hope that that's why many of the smart, caring women on here and elsewhere don't engage in these conversations - they just don't know how to and don't want to offend or look stupid, so they read in silence. Or maybe I'm giving them too much credit, IDK. Either way, I appreciate reading articles and conversations about topics here that I can learn a lot from. So thank you.
I’m not talking about the obvious cases of overt racism, but something much more nuanced: the White women who are more or less on our side, but who don’t know their place in the conversation. As a result, their comments are often more presumptuous, who say things like they don’t “see race,” they’re not the enemy, or they’re feeling hurt and attacked.
Posting to say I read it. It's a great article. And I've been one of the guilty ones. I have said the above, that I "don't see race" ere on GBCN even, and had my ass handed to me on a platter - deservedly so. It made me sit back and re-evaluate some of the things I thought about myself and make a few necessary changes in my real life. Thanks for posting.
I don't know if we just don't get your sense of humor, but you're like that socially awkward guy, always making a joke at the exact wrong moment.
No. The word uppity has a very specific, loaded meaning. It's not a joke. It is malice.
Our educated comrade, however, will deny that there is any baggage attached to the word uppity and then we will do round 3 and that she innocently chose that word.
I don't know if we just don't get your sense of humor, but you're like that socially awkward guy, always making a joke at the exact wrong moment.
No. The word uppity has a very specific, loaded meaning. It's not a joke. It is malice.
Our educated comrade, however, will deny that there is any baggage attached to the word uppity and then we will do round 3 and that she innocently chose that word.
But I hope you will all know better.
I know what it means. That's what I'm saying. I just... Am trying to understand that level of inappropriateness. After that giant cotton thread, to drop that word bomb... Why???
Post by anastasia517 on Dec 20, 2014 16:10:43 GMT -5
Another posting to say that I read this and most of the other race threads. I tend to not reply much because I understand my privilege and the fact that I come from a very homogeneous area... 99%+ Christian or non-religious, very few visible minorities. I want to learn more though, so I make sure to read and to call out people in real life when they say anything obnoxious.
How are you so wont for people to show you respect and you are over here being an ass.
This is probably the worst response to a very well thought out article that offers a chance to do some fucking self reflecting. Instead you respond like this. I'm so done with trying to coddle your pathetic offenses in the hope that you'll fucking wake up and see the real picture without sarcasm or disdain. Fuck that.
I don't know if we just don't get your sense of humor, but you're like that socially awkward guy, always making a joke at the exact wrong moment.
No. The word uppity has a very specific, loaded meaning. It's not a joke. It is malice.
Our educated comrade, however, will deny that there is any baggage attached to the word uppity and then we will do round 3 and that she innocently chose that word.
But I hope you will all know better.
I absolutely chose it purposefully.
But I said it about white women so there's no baggage there, and that's what makes it funny.
C'mon, the author even said white women don't know their place, it was an easy baby step to uppity!
No. The word uppity has a very specific, loaded meaning. It's not a joke. It is malice.
Our educated comrade, however, will deny that there is any baggage attached to the word uppity and then we will do round 3 and that she innocently chose that word.
But I hope you will all know better.
I absolutely chose it purposefully.
But I said it about white women so there's no baggage there, and that's what makes it funny.
C'mon, the author even said white women don't know their place, it was an easy baby step to uppity!