How much of a Scrooge would this be?

[rikki]

I haven't seen my husband in over 2 weeks because his arbitration in Chicago went a week longer than expected. E has been there with him. So, basically I've been family-less since 6 days after Thanksgiving.

I am headed to Chicago in the morning. My MIL was supposed to leave to visit her mother on Tuesday til Monday, but is now staying til Friday. Even though I don't even celebrate Christmas, I was SO looking forward to some time just the 3 of us. I had grand plans of watching Home Alone and we have reservations on Xmas Eve at one of my favorite places. She just doesn't picture in my plans. Is it awful to tell her the restaurant can't add another spot? I'm sitting in my car in the Target parking lot in tears because I just found this out and the idea of another holiday with her pains me. She's already at my house and I'm not mean enough to tell her to leave, although I would like to.

[soso]

I recommend either your husband asks her to leave on wed or asks her to sit dinner out or to babysit e or you include her. I'd bet she would see through the reservation reason and it would be worse than just being honest and setting some boundaries.

[hermione]

I say this with love but you have to start setting some boundaries with this woman. Who invited her to Christmas Eve dinner? If she invited herself, it is fine to say, "we're keeping Christmas Eve to just the three of us, would you like to do breakfast with us the following morning?" If your husband invited her, well, that's a discussion you need to have with him.

[rikki]

I think I kind of invited her. I at least said we have plans and at that point it seemed like she assumed she's coming. I am just not good at boundaries and I am always afraid of upsetting people. I'm such a peace keeper. I hate that about myself. I would rather keep it bundled up inside than tell her I would prefer she not come. I hope one day I don't explode. I think I'm like this because there was so much fighting and chaos in my house growing up.

She did volunteer to babysit and will definitely take her up on that.

[Deleted]

Whatever you decide don't lie.

[cjeanette]

I would ask H to handle it.

[rikki]

My husband is telling her we planned as a family night the 24th. I just don't want to hurt her but I think it's best idea all around.

Any suggestions on how to be more assertive in general? I can very much be with my husband (maybe too much) but it seems like with anyone else I always cave.

[pugz]

I would have her babysit E and then go out for dinner just the 2 of you, it will be nice to have that time together