So I got to work the other day and we were hopping. My section was full of another server's tables so I started taking out food to pitch in and help. I dropped off two hamburger steaks at this table and this 40 year old clean cut business type in a northface fleece jacket sneers at me that "I asked for brown gravy on this." I said, oh, give me one second and I'll bring you some. Is there anything else I can bring for you?"
His reply? "Let me ask you a question. I've been to 80 CBs and yours is the only one to not serve gravy with the hamburger steak and to ask me what kind of gravy I want. Why IS that?"
HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW, ASSHOLE? I WORK AT *THIS* ONE!
If he'd been my table, I would have politely asked fuckface if maybe he was thinking of a mushroom onion steak that's no longer on the menu because he's the only fucker who has presumed that shit comes with gravy. And dude, it's fucking gravy. They keep a vat of that shit on standby. It will take me 90 seconds to bring you a bowl of it. I never cease to be amazed at the shit that will cause people to be nasty.
Remember dude I told you about with the girlfriend he's always kissing on? Homegirl has been high as a damned kite at work recently. I've noticed the higher she is, the extra lovey he is with her. "Baby, you're so cute!" as he kisses her neck. Which eww. Really? Eww. They wear each other's socks too.
Random Pet Peeve: Older children who either don't order their own food, mumble at their parents when they are asked what they want, or can't be bothered to put down the cellphone while their parents ask them what they want to eat. I don't have all day. You are like fucking 12 and you're ordering from the big girl menu. How about you look me in the damned eye and tell me what the hell you want to eat instead of letting mommy talk for you?
And related but little kids who order their own food are so flipping cute. Add a lisp and why yes, I can bring you all the chocolate milk you can suck down, yes ma'am.
"Not a fan of the homestyle chicken?" I asked dude the other day. He shoved the plate in my direction and answers with, "I asked for fried chicken. This is deep fried chicken. Don't you know the difference?"
And then there was the table that bitched to my manager that I'm a shitty waitress because other people brought the stuff she asked for. Seriously, homegirl was mad because I sent another server to refill their waters and because someone else ran their food.
I guess I was supposed to let them go thirsty and let their french toast harden in the window while I put in two other orders and filled drink orders for my other tables.
I love me some fried chicken and I don't know the distinction between fried and deep-fried. How do you keep a straight face?
Right?
People just have odd expectations. Like a hamburger steak I had about two weeks ago. Lady said it was too done. (She ordered it well done, btw). So we recooked it as a medium well. That too was overcooked according to her.
She said, "I guess you guys think it's just like a sirloin. (What the fuck does that even mean??) I'll just have to remember to never order the hamburger steak here."
Which I must be a weirdo because the whole idea of hamburger steak offends me.
I could never waitress again. More power too you. Seriously, I actually switched to working in the kitchen half the time and the floor half the time, when I worked the restaurant industry. Because at least when other cooks are rude to you, you can dish it right back.
I prefer scrapping with customers. They leave within an hour. People in the kitchen are there all night and I hate working with people once I bicker with them.
I think people who are needlessly assholes to servers are pitiful. It's a small show of "power" that tells me they are missing control elsewhere.
And LOL at the woman who said you were a bad waitress because other people came to the table. I actually kind of get annoyed at restaurants where the server HAS to be the only one to come to our table. I like it when there are separate water servers and runners - it usually means I get better overall service.
It's a hard job and the more people who pitch in and help= the better it all goes.
What is a hamburger steak and why do so many people order it then complain about it?
Kind of like chopped steak I guess. The whole concept weirds me out. I think it's the steak they use for chicken fried steak but you know, without the frying part.
Chicken fried steak also weirds me out. And it annoys me when I say, okay, so you're going to have the chicken fried steak and they interrupt and say, no, the country fried steak. SAME DIFFERENT, FOOL and I can tell by their accent when they damned sure know it's the same thing.
I prefer scrapping with customers. They leave within an hour. People in the kitchen are there all night and I hate working with people once I bicker with them.
I loved the kitchen guys. We'd snap at each other on the regular, but never left a shift mad. And I never lost money for telling them to eff off.
We have some women on the grill line that I dislike. They don't speak. So if you ask them, hey I'm missing a side of hashbrown casserole, you get radio silence. So I ask again. And again. Then the fourth time, they snap at you and shove it across the window, I heard you!
How the fuck do I know you heard me? I don't read customers' minds so I sure as shit cannot read the mind of someone on the opposite side of the window.
I worked at a fancy seafood restaurant years ago that specialized in oysters. Hand shucked. An older dude with a younger chick he was clearly trying to impress. They ordered oysters and expensive wine. I checked on them once or twice, and he said to leave them alone; when he needed me, he'd let me know. Okay. So he waves me over and orders more oysters, this takes like ten minutes, because they are hand shucked. They are there for two hours or so and order several plates of oysters and more wine, but not all at once. They finish a plate and order more. The final bill was over $200 and I was really excited for the large tip. When I bring his bill, he asks for the manager. He complains that I negelcted them and was too slow bringing out the oysters! He left NO TIP!! A group of very nice ladies overheard this and left me a big tip and a nice note, but I was still pretty pissed. What an asshole.
Post by tacosforlife on Dec 22, 2014 10:03:34 GMT -5
Even though I am an extrovert, I am terrible at jobs that require dealing with the public because I have zero self-control over my facial expressions. I would just look at people with the BITCH PLEASE face all the damned time.
I mean, I struggled when practicing law. If I thought opposing counsel was making a stupid argument, it was all I could do not to just
And then there was the table that bitched to my manager that I'm a shitty waitress because other people brought the stuff she asked for. Seriously, homegirl was mad because I sent another server to refill their waters and because someone else ran their food.
Also, this would make me want to go full on cuntwich and be like, "Seriously, were you raised by wolves? Have you ever even BEEN to a restaurant?"
One of my favorite restaurants in town has probably 3 or 4 bussers in the dining room who are constantly refilling water and clearing plates. I don't think my server has ever actually refilled my water there.
Post by Melissa W. on Dec 22, 2014 10:07:37 GMT -5
I hated bartending. It was awful. The worst was when my husband and I worked a shift together and he cut someone off and the guy followed him home. We moved shortly after.
The only stories I remember from my food service jobs are the workers pranking the customers so I have apparently blocked out a lot of annoying people who suck. I love all your stories though.
In my current "job" I have a person asking me to design an ad with a photo she took. Her directions were "I don't want this photo to look like a photo. Yes it's a photo but I want to play with it. I just don't know how." What?
Post by mominatrix on Dec 22, 2014 10:24:39 GMT -5
people suck.
I work with my kids, like we rehearse, to get them to order quickly and without mumbling. They also say please and thank you. Because one thing my kids will not be is bitchy to people who wait tables.
And WTF to complaining that somebody else brought the food or water. Whatever. I'd rather get food promptly than have MY server do every.little.thing.
I loved the kitchen guys. We'd snap at each other on the regular, but never left a shift mad. And I never lost money for telling them to eff off.
We have some women on the grill line that I dislike. They don't speak. So if you ask them, hey I'm missing a side of hashbrown casserole, you get radio silence. So I ask again. And again. Then the fourth time, they snap at you and shove it across the window, I heard you!
How the fuck do I know you heard me? I don't read customers' minds so I sure as shit cannot read the mind of someone on the opposite side of the window.
My husband should get a job there. He does this shit ALL.THE.TIME. The best best best part about having kids is that my daughter calls him on it. "Daddy, you didn't SAY anything. I didn't KNOW you were LISTENING." And she says it in a tone of such exasperation and derision.
I worked at a fancy seafood restaurant years ago that specialized in oysters. Hand shucked. An older dude with a younger chick he was clearly trying to impress. They ordered oysters and expensive wine. I checked on them once or twice, and he said to leave them alone; when he needed me, he'd let me know. Okay. So he waves me over and orders more oysters, this takes like ten minutes, because they are hand shucked. They are there for two hours or so and order several plates of oysters and more wine, but not all at once. They finish a plate and order more. The final bill was over $200 and I was really excited for the large tip. When I bring his bill, he asks for the manager. He complains that I negelcted them and was too slow bringing out the oysters! He left NO TIP!! A group of very nice ladies overheard this and left me a big tip and a nice note, but I was still pretty pissed. What an asshole.
See, some people are fucking assholes. How do you impress a girl by being a shit to a server and not leaving a fat ass tip?
Even though I am an extrovert, I am terrible at jobs that require dealing with the public because I have zero self-control over my facial expressions. I would just look at people with the BITCH PLEASE face all the damned time.
I mean, I struggled when practicing law. If I thought opposing counsel was making a stupid argument, it was all I could do not to just
over at my table.
This is why I was never a server or bartender. I am also a lawyer, and can control it. But only if I keep my face almost entirely immobile. HA!
Even though I am an extrovert, I am terrible at jobs that require dealing with the public because I have zero self-control over my facial expressions. I would just look at people with the BITCH PLEASE face all the damned time.
I mean, I struggled when practicing law. If I thought opposing counsel was making a stupid argument, it was all I could do not to just
over at my table.
This is why I was never a server or bartender. I am also a lawyer, and can control it. But only if I keep my face almost entirely immobile. HA!
I did a lot of looking at my notes and scribbling circles while in court.
I observed a hearing for something a few weeks ago. One of the parties testifying was just unintentionally hilarious. At one point, I made eye contact with the attorney, and he and I almost lost it. I had to stare at the ground for the rest of the hearing. Every time I glanced up, we both started to giggle. Terrible.
Post by irishbride2 on Dec 22, 2014 10:36:03 GMT -5
one of the reasons I went into teaching is that I am fine dealing with crazy tiny humans but not crazy adults. The crazy tiny humans often have an excuse and we still have a have to Change them.
I forgot that the crazy tiny humans have crazy adult parents.
Ohhh, I was totally that kid who couldn't order her own food. Because of pathological shyness, not because of a cell phone though. Though I think by the time I was 12 I had managed to figure it out. As long as I'd anticipated all the sides/dressings/doneness questions and had my answers ready. But at like 8 or 9? Nope, total deer in the headlights.
I work with my kids, like we rehearse, to get them to order quickly and without mumbling. They also say please and thank you. Because one thing my kids will not be is bitchy to people who wait tables.
And WTF to complaining that somebody else brought the food or water. Whatever. I'd rather get food promptly than have MY server do every.little.thing.
I should clarify that I don't care when people order for older kids and everything is ready. But when I have to wait while the order is passed from kid to adult, adult to me, back to kid and back to adult, then back to me, I get annoyed.
I simply asked if he wants gravy on his fucking potatoes. He is 12. He can say yes. Instead, mom will repeat what I said, honey, do you want gravy on your potatoes? He stare at his cellphone playing some stupid game. "Honey, you like gravy, right? You want gravy? Sweetie, look at me, do you want gravy?" He replies with some kind of mumble. "what did you say honey? Yes or no? Okay, he wants gravy."
We have some women on the grill line that I dislike. They don't speak. So if you ask them, hey I'm missing a side of hashbrown casserole, you get radio silence. So I ask again. And again. Then the fourth time, they snap at you and shove it across the window, I heard you!
How the fuck do I know you heard me? I don't read customers' minds so I sure as shit cannot read the mind of someone on the opposite side of the window.
My husband should get a job there. He does this shit ALL.THE.TIME. The best best best part about having kids is that my daughter calls him on it. "Daddy, you didn't SAY anything. I didn't KNOW you were LISTENING." And she says it in a tone of such exasperation and derision.
I love this. Can I borrow your daughter to help teach my H?
I worked at a fancy seafood restaurant years ago that specialized in oysters. Hand shucked. An older dude with a younger chick he was clearly trying to impress. They ordered oysters and expensive wine. I checked on them once or twice, and he said to leave them alone; when he needed me, he'd let me know. Okay. So he waves me over and orders more oysters, this takes like ten minutes, because they are hand shucked. They are there for two hours or so and order several plates of oysters and more wine, but not all at once. They finish a plate and order more. The final bill was over $200 and I was really excited for the large tip. When I bring his bill, he asks for the manager. He complains that I negelcted them and was too slow bringing out the oysters! He left NO TIP!! A group of very nice ladies overheard this and left me a big tip and a nice note, but I was still pretty pissed. What an asshole.
See, some people are fucking assholes. How do you impress a girl by being a shit to a server and not leaving a fat ass tip?
Small dick. Plus I was hot as shit in my 20s and he probably didn't want her to think he was hitting on me. Lol.
Ohhh, I was totally that kid who couldn't order her own food. Because of pathological shyness, not because of a cell phone though. Though I think by the time I was 12 I had managed to figure it out. As long as I'd anticipated all the sides/dressings/doneness questions and had my answers ready. But at like 8 or 9? Nope, total deer in the headlights.
Awwww, I'm sure I wouldn't have wanted to strangle you as long as you were paying attention and answering the questions.
"Do you want syrup or fruit topping?"
::silence and staring::
"Do you want syrup or fruit topping?"
::silence and staring::
"Does she want syrup or fruit topping?"
"Oh, I don't know, let me ask her. Honey, do you want syrup or fruit topping? What kind of fruit topping do you have by the way? Do you have cherry, she likes cherry."
"We don't have cherry."
"Oh I thought you did. Are you sure? Are they out?"
"We used to but we don't anymore. We have apple, peach, and blackberry."
"Oh, that's nice. I like blackberry. Honey, have you decided yet? Syrup or fruit topping. They don't have cherry."
And see, this is why other servers bring out the food instead of waiting for the server it belongs to to get back there. Because while this order should have taken me two minutes to write down, I'm still standing there while some underaged thing in too much eyeliner can't be bothered to pay the fuck attention and answer a simple question.