I need advice.

[iamali]

My mom had been in the nursing home for 4 days before she died yesterday. Prior to that she had been in the hospital because she had pretty major back surgery. She was released to the nursing home because her her recovery wasn't going as well as they expected.

So. In those 4 days in the nursing home she fell out of bed twice. They were giving her valium for reasons unbeknownst to any of us (she had not been receiving it in the hospital).

The nursing home says she died of natural causes (a heart attack ) and because of that no autopsy will be performed, but I feel like there is negligence on their part. Also on part of the doctor who performed the surgery because there were some pretty big complications that he admitted to.

I know nothing will bring her back. Am I just grasping at straws here?

Is this worth pursuing?

I'm hurting so bad you guys. Thank you all for the support.

[bugandbibs]

I have no advice, but lots of love and hugs.

[compassrose]

I'm so sorry. I am not an expert here, but I'm pretty sure it's within your rights to request an autopsy.

[mcsangel2]

What was your mom's state of health and expected prognosis prior to the surgery?

ETA: Also, I am so sorry for your loss, iamali.

[CloudBee]

I would speak to the funeral home about the cost of a private autopsy. I don't know how you go about ordering one, but I'm sure they could walk you through it. I grew up in a small town, and one of the local doctors usually performed them right at the funeral home.

For peace of mind, I would want one. Even if it was a financial stretch.

I'm so sorry, Ali.

[Deleted]

I would request an autopsy. I'm sorry you are having to make this decison. There is so much going on here from the surgery to the valium and I would want answers.

[Deleted]

I believe the family can request an autopsy. It isn't up to the nursing home.
My grandma died a couple years ago after a fall at the nursing home and they didn't want to do an autopsy. However, the autopsy couldn't confirm if her brain bleed (she had Alzheimer's and had plaque on the arteries of in her brain) was from her falling out of the wheelchair or if her brain caused her to fall out of her wheelchair.

But at least we knew it was the brain bleed.
In your case, Id want to know what the actual cause was though and I believe you have a right to know.

((hugs)) Im so sorry Ali.

[EmilieMadison]

I'm so sorry Ali.
I think it's worth pursuing. Even if there was nothing negligent, things dont seem quite right and I'd want answers in your situation.
Falling out of bed twice and valium....yes, I'd want to know.

[bittybomb]

Again, I am so so sorry.

The next of kin may request an autopsy regardless of whether one is recommended or not. Even if the ME declines to do one (and I have never heard of that happening, in my state at least, if one is requested by the family) you may still have a private autopsy done, which would obviously cost money, but if you really feel like you need one for closure, and you can afford it, I would consider it.

I am a malpractice attorney. You're right, nothing will bring her back. And there is nothing you or your family could have done to change the outcome. In my experience, both professional and personal, nursing homes, because they are generally for-profit, do not always offer the best care.

Good luck, and I hope you find peace

[ladyk]

I don't think you're grasping at straws, given the circumstances which you've shared. I'd request an autopsy, especially if you think there was neligence in the nursing home and/or medical malpractice. I'd want to know what happened.

Hugs to you.

[jennysmitten]

I have no advice, but I am so sorry for your loss Ali.

[sarahbear]

If the nursing home was giving her Valium it's because it was prescribed by her or the facilitY physician. Ask to see who ordered it. It could have been on the discharge papers from the hospital. I'm sorry for your loss.

[ax2]

Again, im so sorry.

I'd want to know what happened too.

[cinderbella]

I'm so, so sorry, Ali.

And I would definitely pursue the autopsy if it's available privately. Things sound fishy and it's my opinion that you should go with your gut - even if nothing negligent or out of the ordinary is found, it may help you get some closure regarding the feelings you're having toward the facility and the events leading up to her death.

So many hugs to you.

[mskitkat]

Lots of hugs. I was just listening to a story on NPR about nursing homes prescribing unnecessary medications and the consequences that can have, so no, you aren't grasping at straws. If you think you need this to feel closure, look into a private autopsy.

ETA: www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/12/08/368524824/old-and-overmedicated-the-real-drug-problem-in-nursing-homes

[Deleted]

If possible I would get an autopsy and look into those issues further.

Huge hugs, I am so so sorry for your loss

[spankswife]

I am really sorry. I agree it somewhat depends on how you think her health was prior to surgery. However I do feel it's worth the piece of mind, and now is your only chance. I would be concerned why they were giving her Valium and she was falling, and I would also question the surgeon, based on what you have mentioned.

Anecdote - My friend's grandfather died in a nursing home bc they didn't keep his catheter clean, and he got an infection that spread. Her family was compensated.

Perhaps you can run this by an atty for their opinion?

[Zoly]

There should be a doctor on staff at the nursing home, even if they are only there a few days a week. I would try to talk to them to ask why they prescribed the valium or any other questions you might have.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is rough.

[aprilsails]

If you want an autopsy ask for one. Although nothing can be done for your Mom, the outcome of the autopsy can guide future medical decisions for these facilities and may bring to light some issues that can be addressed moving forward.

[cuddlyevil]

You are within your rights as next of kin to request an autopsy.

I am so sorry you're going through all of this.

[gretchenindisguise]

I see no harm in getting an autopsy completed.

Continued hugs and love to you Ali.

[Deleted]

Did your mom have a previous heart condition or were some of the surgery complications related to her heart? And how old was she? What I'm trying to get at was the heart attack out of the blue and suspicious?

So sorry for the loss of your mom

[cville]

You can request an autopsy.  I'd request a copy of her medical records as well, from the hospital and nursing home.  See how that goes, move forward from there when you get those answers.

[spankswife]

Dec 22, 2014 11:04:39 GMT -5 @bk said:

Did your mom have a previous heart condition or were some of the surgery complications related to her heart? And how old was she? What I'm trying to get at was the heart attack out of the blue and suspicious?

So sorry for the loss of your mom

I agree - I feel like if she had a bad heart she would not have been approved for the back surgery. something seems off.

[pinkeggs]

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I agree with the pps, I would request an autopsy. It seems like there were a lot of odd factors here. As a healthcare worker myself, if I had a patient who had just come out of complicated back surgery and was on Valium, they would be a pretty high fall risk and the fact that she fell twice in that brief time bothers me. I'm not trying to work you up or anything, just validating your feelings. I would feel the same.

Huge hugs.

[Eagles]

I have no advice, but just want to say again how sorry I am.

[ClosingTime08]

First I want to say I am so sorry for your loss. Something similar happened with my father-in-law. They deemed it "Natural causes" and wouldn't do an autopsy. My mother in law had to have it done privately ($3k-$5k out of pocket). you are not grasping at straws and if you can afford to get one, I would. you don't have to do anything right away with it, there is usually some time before the statute of limitation runs out. I would most certainly tell the coroner you are going to get someone for a private autopsy. You will need to arrange it but it can and should be done. Once again, I am sorry for your loss and can answer any other questions if need be.

[flex]

My personal experience is that in the state of Alaska, an autopsy is not done if the death is not a homicide. However, my MIL wanted an autopsy for her own peace of mind and to be sure that it wasn't something genetic that could be passed on to my stepson.

There was no pathologist readily available to do the autopsy: finally one was found (he had been out of the country for a couple weeks), and he performed it two weeks after my wonderful DH had passed away. Nothing was found. My MIL paid for his services.

So I think it's perfect understandable if you do want an autopsy done. Be prepared, however, to pay for the additional cost.

[runforrest]

I'm so sorry. When my dad passed after open heart surgery, we requested an autopsy even though the surgeons didn't think anything had gone wrong. We just wanted answers. Even though we didn't get any, but still. My mom was able to get one done.

Hugs.

[awick14]

((Hugs)) I am very sorry for your loss.

I would ask for an autopsy if I were in your shoes.